cute, funny, retarded, perverted, weird and generally entertaining things my students tell me on a daily basis.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Week of May 30th to June 3rd


So, even though everyone was all in a huff over this typhoon we were supposed to be having, it’s now bright clear skies outside and I even see a little bit of sunshine peeking through. It only rained about long enough for me to get off the train and walk to school, which SUCKED cuz I only had my small portable umbrella and I still got kinda wet. Well, nevermind. At least I was greeted by the sight of the hot new teacher running inside the school dripping wet… I was TRYING to keep an indifferent scowl, since he is kind of a jerk, but yeah, you might’ve had to wipe the drool of my face…

Anyhow, first class this morning was with 1-7 and it went extremely well, so I was kinda happy. I did a “guess who” game with a bunch of famous people/characters’ faces, and I put my picture in there and the kiddies were like “ano hito, dare?” (who’s that person?) lol. Then there was a picture of Avril Lavigne and, sure enough there were a few “matta Vanessa?” (Vanessa again?), even though they didn’t even know who she was. Which surprised me, but they are kiddies still so they don’t know much besides Arashi and AKB48.

During break, I was then told that there was no school lunch today. It had been cancelled because everyone was expecting there to be no school because of the typhoon. Well damn that typhoon for not showing up, eh? So now I have to go buy lunch somewhere (I can’t even go and eat out) and the nearest combini is like a 15 min walk away from here. Meh. Oh well, at least it’ll kill time a bit. My schedule is a lot lighter than usual this week, cuz the 2nd years are gone on a camping trip.

3rd period was sentaku with 3-6, and I was doing my 2nd music lesson, featuring Avril Lavigne. Now I don’t know if it was just because Mizushima-sensei wasn’t there or what (he’s a 2nd year teacher so he’s gone on the trip as well) but they seemed just sooo jaded the whole time. Even like the 3 kids who won a sticker were like “oh, no that’s ok” like my stickers weren’t good enough for them! (Although I think it’s more that they were embarrassed that there were only 3 of them). Then later, when they were listening to the song and I was walking around, I noticed a strip of purikura in this one girl’s pen case and I smiled at her and went for it and she pulled her pencil case away and gave me this utter death look of hate. And I was really shocked. And hurt. I’m always poking in their shit and looking at their puri (I mean sure, I really have no business doing it, but still, I’ve been doing it for ages and they never cared before) so I dunno what the big deal was. I mean, ok, so maybe it was some puri with her bf, but whatever. Don’t just leave it there if you don’t want people looking at it! I think she may have felt bad about it afterwards because she kept trying to catch my gaze and then gave me a big smile. Meh. Oh, also, fun part, at one point I was explaining what the point of the song was “she is saying to the boy “your gf is stupid, your gf is ugly! you should pick me instead”.” and Taisei was like “hidoi! kowaii!” lol. (basically “this girl is so mean! scary!”) it really made me laugh. I mean, that song is pretty harmless as far as English lyrics go…


Today is one of those very rare days where I DON’T have to teach 1st period, and let me tell you, I am relishing it. Got one class in the morning and one this afternoon. This is the life.

lol, Minami just caused a traffic jam in the stairway, when she (and of course that means the rest of her posse) stopped to tell me that they were gonna play Lady Gaga at lunchtime today, and then she was holding my hand and telling me that I was “kawaii” and wouldn’t let go of my hand, and literally, like 30 kids were standing in the stairway waiting for her to release my hand so they could go down the stairs. pwaha.

Just had my first class of the day with 3-2, and even though they are my best 3rd year class, it was a bit less fun than usual because I had to teach it by myself since Mizushima-sensei is off camping with the 2nd years. Since we’re listening to songs, there is a lot of stuff that goes over their heads, and sometimes I need the JTE to translate stuff in Japanese… I mean, try as I might, I couldn’t manage to gesture well enough what “wrapped around my finger” meant… *sigh* at the beginning of the class though, everybody was ooh-ing and aah-ing at my headband, saying I was “kakkoii” and “oshare” (cool and fashionable) and Imari was like “ime-change!! sugoiii!” lol. (Ime-change is what Japanese people say when you change your appearance drastically. a friend of mine explained (made me realize) that Japanese people usually have one hairstyle and stick to it and they don’t really change it daily like we do, so it’s a big deal when they do) so anyways, they were all impressed. I get similar reactions when I show up wearing my glasses (I’m super blind but wear contacts everyday). Oh and of course, as I was passing the papers, a few of them went “is that Vanessa?” seeing the pictures. *sigh* maybe I should just give up and change my name to Avril Lavigne, eh? Seriously… I look NOTHING like her!!!

Oh, and on the way to class I ran into Minami & co. again and they were having an argument so she asked me “Vanessa, which do you like better, “Telephone” or “Pokerface”?” and I said telephone and the other kid went “ha!” and Minami looked surprised. But then I told her that my favorite song was actually “Bad Romance” and her face kinda went blank, then she turned to her friend and asked her if that song was on the cd, and she nodded. I didn’t hear the rest of the conversation, but then when the radio turned on at lunchtime, I recognized “Bad Romance”! awww, sweetheart made the request just for me! ^_^

Aww… it’s now 3:30pm and most of the kids and teachers are out during “cleaning time” and Imari just popped into the staffroom, but from the other door that is way at the other end, and I think he wanted a key, but anyways, I was reading a blog or something and he was talking to another teacher so I was only vaguely aware that he was there, but then as he left, he put his head back through the door again and waved at me going “Bye bye Vanessa!” lol. It was the cutest thing ever! and so totally random! haha…. LOVE that kid… :p


On Wednesdays we have the weekly morning meeting. It starts at 8:05am, and since that’s usually the time I get to school at (I start at 8:10), I usually take the earlier train on Wednesdays, so I don’t crash the meeting. Anyhow, that means that when I show up to school, there are still a few kids dicking about in their year’s hallway, and every once in a while, some of them spot me coming in and wave at me from the windows. This morning was such a day. When Minami saw me walk through the gates, she opened the window as wide as it would go and shouted “VANESSA!!!” in a big voice, waving at me. It really warmed my heart, considering that I’m not in the best of moods, due to personal reasons. I love my kiddies.

1st period was class with 1-1. Cute as buttons, all of them, but nothing special happened.

3rd period was 1-3 and the first thing I noticed is that the kid who transferred from Okinawa last week is gone. wtf?! That didn’t last very long.

Then, in 4th period, Yuka wanted her kids to do skits with intro speeches (“hi, I’m… nice to meet you. This is my friend…”) but as anytime you ask Japanese kids to come in front of the class and “act”, it failed miserably. They were super excited during the preparation time. A lot of them had brought props and costumes, and some of them had made their speeches very funny, but as soon as they came to the front of the class, they froze up, and what came out of their mouths was a quiet, boring, drone. Shame. Oh! But me and the Yuka made a date to go see Paradise Kiss together this weekend, and bitched about life. Fun times!


Hmm… schedule changes again that I wasn’t aware of… I was supposed to have sentaku class with 3-5 this morning, but when I saw that all but one of the 2nd year teachers were not there, I figured something was up and Shigeki-sensei was probably not there, so did this mean that I didn’t have class? Went to ask Hasegawa-sensei and she went “oh sorry! There was a schedule change, I should’ve told you!” hum… indeed you should have! But, I’m not gonna complain, this means I have the whole morning to dick around and plan lessons for tomorrow. When my head is migraine-free, news like this are awesome.

Fun fact, there is a “TV screen” outside the staffroom, that shows pictures of whatever school events have happened recently, and now it’s showing pics of the 2nd year camping trip. Well, Minami and co. were standing in front of it watching the pictures and seeing if they could name all the cute 2nd year boys… *shakes head* No wonder that kid likes me so much… she’s gonna be a cougar, just like me!

Mizushima-sensei just came to tell me that he might be late to class because one of the kids from his homeroom was caught smoking, and he and some other teachers had to go scold him. First of all, he teaches 2nd year… so young!! and second, this is my yanki teacher we are talking about. The same one who made a class shake in terror because they weren’t repeating after me quick enough. I really kinda pity the poor kid. I would NOT wanna be in that room when Mizushima-sensei starts yelling at him!!

So today I am wearing this long (like calf-length) black-n-white cardigan that kinda trails behind me when I walk, and as I was walking down the stairs earlier, one of the tiny ichinensei girls went “oooh, oujo-sama mitai”, talking about my clothes. Basically, “looks like a noble lady” or something. It cracked me up!

Class with 3-4… oooh boy… well, mostly they were like zombies because it was in the afternoon, and Ryouga was terrible. TERRIBLE! What happened to him, seriously?! He was such a brat, the whole time… he kept pulling bits of fleece from his damaged “earthquake pillow” and dropping it on the head of the boy in front of him – delicately, so he wouldn’t notice – while everybody snickered. And when he wasn’t doing that, he was exchanging “rabu-rabu” glances with Shiomi-kun (I suspect he’s the perpetrator of Ryouga’s downfall into brat-dom). But mostly I had to tell him to can it like a million times and he just wouldn’t stop. I was also surprised that Mizushima-sensei didn’t do anything about it, but I guess he doesn’t give a shit since they aren’t really “his” students… oh well. Surprisingly, Bad Ryota was really good and again seemed to really enjoy the “song” part of the lesson. I’m so glad since he never does anything in regular English class. Then after my lesson was over, there was about 10 minutes left and Mizushima-sensei told them they could work in their books in groups. So of course, Ryota, Shiomi and Ryouga gathered together in the middle of the class, book-less, and did fuck all. I went to chat with them a bit and they would laugh when I was standing behind Shiomi. I realized later that (I think) it was because my boobs were just behind his head, and if he were to move his head back, well you know… contact would happen. They were like “abunai!!” (which means “dangerous!” or “warning!”). So anyhow, that’s fine but Shiomi mumbled that I was “kowai” (scary) and then I looked him in the face and asked “I’m kowai?” and he nodded, and he was just not kidding at all, and I was kinda hurt and upset, and all the other kids were laughing *sigh* seriously, I love all those kids but this is the worst pairing EVER!! They should not be in a class together… *sigh* anyhow. AFTER class, when the bell rang, Shiomi started attacking Ryouga, who was laughing and squealing for him to stop at the same time, and then they chased each other around the classroom for a bit, and then Ryouga fell down, and Shiomi started laughing, but his laugh was such a high pitched squeal, it sounded like a mouse. Seriously, it was the oddest thing I ever heard, and of course everyone in the room started laughing too. When I left they were still chasing each other around, and continued throughout the whole break :/

Afterwards I had the same lesson with 3-5 and it went much better, even though they understood less (their English ability is a lot weaker) but I think it’s because Shigeki-sensei seemed more into it than Mizushima-sensei was… He translated a bit more for them (which in this case – not regular class – was ok) and explained the basic meaning of the song. Also, when I was passing the pictures around for the kids to look at them, there was a general chain reaction of blushing boys and giggles. One of the pictures of Avril Lavigne is kinda sexy… and by that I mean you can see cleavage. Well, I guess it goes to show that they’ve never seen boobs before! It was pretty funny. Oh and at one point, I was chatting with some of the kids and I told them that people in Japan often told me I looked like Avril Lavigne, but that it wasn’t true. Now, I really shouldn’t have said that because they all started looking at their papers, then looking back at me and going “honto da” (it’s true!). dammit. And then later on, when I was talking, explaining something, the same group of kids were all holding their papers in front of their faces and looking at me over it. I was like “what are you doing?!” and turns out they were comparing the pictures to my face again, and giggling, going “niteru” (you look like her). *rolls eyes* Anyhow. None of them got the quiz right, and none of them found all the missing words in the song (there’s 4 :/ ) and so it made me a bit sad. But I realized that the pace of the song was way too fast for most of them to follow… oh well!!


I ran into nebocchan on the train this morning!!! (If you don’t remember, he graduated last spring) I kinda freaked out cuz he was wearing normal clothes and looked like a man more than a kid, it was so weird. We just kinda stood there staring at each other. lol. I waved and said hi, but I totally didn’t know what to say! lol. Then the door opened and it was my stop. Shame. I should’ve said something more. It’s so weird cuz just the other day, I was thinking about him – I forget why. Funny! I do miss that kid though…

Urgh, I had 4 classes back to back, and though interesting things have happened in all of them, I’m so frickin dead and tired, I can’t remember. I can tell you that when I walked in to 2-1, Ayumu was being so freakin’ cute again, going “hello, My name is Ayumu!” and I was answering “I know!” and he laughed his cheerful kiddy laugh… he was making tons of little origami animals out of tiny origami papers, and I said that he should teach me. He was gonna but then the class started. The only thing I know how to make in origami is a little box thing, that you blow into and it makes like a paper bubble. but I kinda can’t remember how to make it, so for the first half of the class (when Shigeki-sensei was just lecturing and I was just a classroom prop), I tried to remember how to make the paper bubble, and a few of the kids in the back chuckled at me, especially when I tried to blow air into the bubble. lol. It kinda worked, but I know I did it wrong. Meh. Oh, and also, later, when they were drawing pictures in groups, Shigeki-sensei wandered over to the “bad boys” group (Ryo & co.) and he laughed and when I walked over he told them to erase it quickly. I was kinda cranky cuz I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have cared, but then he (the teacher) also refused to tell me what the kid had drawn there. At the end of the class, I went to see Rei and asked him “Rei-chan!” (and one of the other boys asked why I was calling him that, lol) “Rei-chan, if you tell me what the other boy drew, I will give you a sticker!” We all know how greedy he is for stickers, so his eyes grew all big and he was like “boy and girl.. hmm… nandake…” and then Ryo showed up behind him and went “play?” and I was like “huh?” and then another boy said something else, but they were all skirting around saying one word that would have made it really obvious (which I found terribly funny) and then I finally got it and went “Oh! He drew people having sex!” and they all freaked out that I’d said it and started to giggle, before they all extended their hands begging for a sticker. Suddenly there was like 10 of them.

Afterwards in 2-3, I had the same lesson with Mizushima-sensei, and I dunno if those kids are just smarter or what, but they were really good at playing the game and drawing really interesting pictures. Daiyu was acting super cute, trying to show off, and a few of them greeted me with “I am Vanessa too” again, but I think it’s getting old, so hopefully they’ll lay off soon.

I thought that the next class was 3-2, but that since I’d already been to their class this week, I wouldn’t have to go… but no! It was only Tuesday schedule until 3rd period! After that, things returned to the normal Friday schedule and that meant I had class with 2-5. I was kinda devastated cuz I hadn’t even copied enough papers for an extra class, and I was so tired… I had to spend the break copying papers in haste, and spent most of the class yawning and trying to do so not too obviously. The kids were super sweet and into it, and again they drew really nice pictures. Shinji really freaked me out during the activity because he was spewing directions for his friend to draw things in a perfect American accent. I don’t know why this kid talks like that. It’s really weird. I know he’s half-Brazilian, but he can’t speak English at all – well, no more than the other kids his age anyways. BUT! His accent is perfect. Even last year his accent was amazing. I have no idea why. How can he have a perfect accent if he can’t even speak it? It’s sooooo odd. But he is a really adorable kid. Over-achiever type.

anyways, it’s time for the weekend folks! oh, on the way out of school, Hyougo (kid who graduated last April) passed me on his bike along with 3 or 4 other high school boys. he shouted at me as he was still pedaling “Vanessa, hello! I am Takuya!!” and I shouted “I know!” and laughed, and his friends laughed too, but none of them stopped so I just shouted “see you!” after him. it was cute.

1 comment:

  1. Your Thursday was rough, jeez! That little group sounds like a handful XD