cute, funny, retarded, perverted, weird and generally entertaining things my students tell me on a daily basis.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Week of June 13 to 17


Excerpt from family papers I had the 1st years write. Mizuki from 1-7:
“This is my father, Hiroshi. He is a mother fan.”
Meaning her father loves her mother. cute!!!

Class with 1-7 was good, but my activity was just way too short and we ended up with a bunch of free time at the end… Aoshima-sensei just had them get started on their homework, but I thought it was a bit lame… One funny bit… after the game, Eitaro hadn’t gotten a sticker and he was pestering me for one. Since he’s always asking me to sing, I told him that if he sang me a song, I’d give him a sticker. He was like “nan ko?” (basically “how many will you give me?”) and I said one, and he sat there pondering it very seriously while his girlfriends were all laughing at him. And then he bursts out into the Japanese national anthem. rotfl!! And he went on for quite a while before I made him stop and gave him a sticker. Cutest thing ever. And then as the girl next to him is going “iiii naaaa” (basically she’s jealous), I hear him tell her “well go on then, you just have to sing a song and she’ll give you one too!” all matter-of-factly. lol. She never did though.

Then it was sentaku class with 3-3 and I’m doing a song by Simple Plan this week. It was a ballad too so it would be slower and they could catch the words more easily. But I guess the expressions were kinda difficult to understand. Well anyhow, even though a lot of kids did really well on the listening quiz (finally!), it kinda bombed and it made me a bit sad. They said they didn’t like the song, and that the band wasn’t cool. :(

After that it was the same lesson with 3-6 and Mizushima-sensei, which went down better, but they did worse on the quiz. At least they said they liked the song. I dunno what those kids did last weekend, but half of them were falling asleep on their desks. It was a bit depressing.

After I got back to the staffroom, shigeki sensei came over to tell me, in a very stressed voice (like, he is pissed but trying not to show it) that I should’ve shown him the handout before class because there were very many difficult words and he didn’t know how to translate them. It wasn’t that big a deal, honestly, nobody would judge you for not speaking English well because you don’t know the meaning to metaphors in pop songs… seriously! But no, his pride was all wounded and he was pissed. Fine, I’ll give you one next time, but I only finished the handout this morning so it’s not like I could’ve given it to him earlier anyhow. Besides, it’s the 3rd lesson that I do that has the EXACT SAME PATTERN. How was I to guess that he would get pissed this time when the last two were fine? *sigh* oh well. It just rubbed me the wrong way… I mean, these lessons are the only free reign I have at all in my pitiful life as an ALT so, FUCK OFF!! (Yeah, I’m cranky…)

lol. My kyouto-sensei (vice-principal) is really funny. But he’s really sarcastic-funny, which is VERY rare amongst Japanese people… since most of them wouldn’t know sarcasm if it hit them in the face… conversation between me and kyouto-sensei:

(Note before you read, the post office is right behind the school)
Me: kyouto-sensei, can a go to the post office for a little bit?
KY: itterasshai (Japanese expression, means “go and come back”)
Me: ok
KY: Be careful. cuz, you know, it’s really far. How many minutes does it take? Really far. Wouldn’t want you to get hurt.
Me: (laughing) yes sir. ittekimasu! (What you answer to “itterashai”. Means “I’m going but I’ll come back”)

I dunno… was it funny? I thought it was funny… I guess you had to be there. Also, I guess I get happy when I can have conversations in Japanese with people here… it happens so rarely.

After school, when I’d almost gotten home after getting off the train, I ran into 2 of my ex-students, Doi and Yuka… they were super excited to see me, but although we were walking towards each other, and I thought I recognized Doi for a bit, I wasn’t sure until they were really close and I waved at them and they went “yappa!” (I knew it!) and Yuka was like “yeah, we recognized you from waaaaaaaay over there and were wondering if you were gonna recognize us!” aww… of course. we chatted for a bit – there was another girl with them who wasn’t one of my ex-students and she looked kinda bored, but she did tell them a few time “eigo sugoi”, which made me wonder how much English SHE could speak, because both girls were talking to me in a terrible mixture of butchered English and Japanese…


Today I have 5 classes. I’m gonna die. I just want this day to be over…

First period with 2-2 went well. But now I can’t remember anything that happened… except that the fat kid who smells like pee was absent, so I could stand by the window and it was actually pleasant. (I kid you not, there is a fat kid who smells like pee, and it’s terrible cuz no one is doing anything about it… but when he’s there the whole class smells FOUL).

Anyways, then it was class with 2-1, and I went in there right after first period cuz I didn’t wanna go back downstairs, and Wataru was sleeping on his desk. I went over and sat at the desk in front of him and put my head on my arms like an inch away from his face. He opened his eyes sleepily and saw me looking at him and went “oooh, bikkurishita!” (oh, I’m surprised!) but super quietly and sleepily… kaaaaaaaaaawaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!! and then he went back to sleep. lol. I swear if I ever have babies, I want them to look just like him cuz he is so darling adorable! Oh, and later on he came to show me that he was reading Snoopy comics, and that they were in English, but with Japanese translations, eheh. Class itself was normal. Actually, they were much more well-behaved than usual. Rei was spewing answers at me the whole time. lol. Ayumu kept making me hit him with his pen… he must have M tendencies….

And guess what? My big 5 class day turned into… 2 classes! And I’m done! I’m a little bit freaked out cuz, seriously, how did that happened? Apparently there is a mysterious schedule change (that everyone but me knew about) because there’s going to be a demo lesson for BoE people during 4th period. And also, there’s no 6th period today. Huh…. I guess, I am super happy about it, cuz I did not have the energy for 5 classes today, but it’s like some kind of awesome miracle, and whenever does that happen???

Plus my kids are totally digging my sideways braid today. I’m hearing way more “kawaii”s than usual :p


Morning. Today was the weekly morning meeting, and man… it was weird. first, they said congratulations to this one teacher who just had a baby, and he was all happy and stuff… then Kouchou-sensei made this speech, that I didn’t really understand except that it involved some guy who died of drunk driving (I think)… I’m not quite sure what the point of the story was, except he was crying and the room was dead quiet, and it was just kinda awkward for me cuz I had no idea what was going on. After that, they introduced a new teacher, who will apparently teach swimming to the kids. First, wtf do we need a special swimming teacher for?? And second, he’s all old and gangly, and it’s creeping me out that is job is watching little kids in swimming clothes… :/  but whatever. Anyhow. Off for a busy morning of 1st year classes!

Class with 1-1 was fun although nothing really memorable happened. Except at the beginning of the class, this little girl was passing out the name-cards and she went “Kaishi-tte dare?” (who is Kaishi) but she was misreading the name that said “Kaisei” and he’s the first boy in front, so both me and the girl next to him went like “that’s Kaisei!” pointing to him. Then I added, “Kaisei is the most popular boy in AAA-shou” (AAA-elementary school) and he waved his hand “no, no, no!” and the girl next to him debated that Daiki was (which really surprised me). So I said (in Japanese) “oh really? I remember in Grade 5, when all the girls were ‘Kaisei! Kaisei!’ all the time”, and I laughed and he went beet red. CUTIE pie!! Honestly, that’s why he is one of the only 1st years whose name I remember.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned it before, but recently, there is a teacher, Miwako-sensei, (I don’t even know what subject she teaches) who is the homeroom teacher for 3-1, who comes and asks me to check the diary or this one girl who decided she was gonna write her diary in English. In case you don’t know, JHS students here have to write a diary (in Japanese) every day, that their homeroom teacher looks at and… well I’m not quite sure what they do with it. I guess it’s to keep a link with the students in their homeroom. I think it’s quite a good idea. Anyways, Miwako-sensei is this really cute little woman, and every time she comes up to me, she goes all shyly “Vanessa….. kyou mou, onegaishimasu” (today too, please) and it just kinda makes me smile.

During class with 1-2, Yuka just basically needed to use the whole class and I just helped her out and it was chill. The kids had to write a small text, introducing one of their friends, and they all had pictures, and so it was fun looking at their pictures. One of the boys was introducing Eitaro! and so I told him “I love Eitaro!!! I am an Eitaro fan!” and they all just burst out laughing, they thought it was hilarious. One of the girls mentioned something about a “rival” but I have no idea if she meant that I had a rival for Eitaro’s love, or that Eitaro was now the rival of some other kid, because I was needed elsewhere. Still. It was funny.

Also, Yuka asked me to try and go probe this one girl to work. She told me she was a problem student, and that she (the kid) hated her (Yuka) and never listened to her no matter what she did. So I went and tried to coax the little girl to work, and I failed :/  To be honest, it’s kinda hard to have these kinds of interventions when your j-skills are shit. But I was like “don’t you have your picture? I really wanna hear your story” and she was sulking to my face but then she started looking for her picture, and another kid needed my help. At the end of the class, she still hadn’t done fuck all. After class Yuka asked me “so?” and I shook my head and she sighed. She told me that something was wrong with the girl and that she had met her mom and her mom had said she’d taken her to a mental hospital. Really? wtf?! I mean, sure, she might be a bit slow in her social growth or whatever, but there is nothing retarded about that kid. Again, it baffles me how Japanese society doesn’t know how to deal with anything psychological… or learning disabilities and stuff… *sigh*

Oh!!! When I got to the station after school, there was a girl in a purple t-shirt chilling there and when she saw me, she ran over and squealed “VANESSA!” I recognized Yume, one of my best girls from two years ago (even though she went “Yume! Yume! Remember me?”) and I was so excited to see her that I gave her a great big hug. Which is totally not normal for Japan. lol. If it was any other kid it might’ve been weird, but since Yume is such a genki girl she kinda laughed and hugged me back (a bit awkwardly, but still). I asked how was school and she said she was going to the one nearby, but that she was going on an exchange to the States for a year from this coming July! I was so excited for her! and I was so happy to see her and she was so happy to see me. It’s moments like this that actually make my life awesome. Totally brightened my day.


Ok, I wrote on my facebook this morning “Today, I have 5 classes for real!” but, hum… I guess not? I was just told that my first period class was changed to 6th period… I’m supposed to have class with 2-6 on 6th period, but apparently that doesn’t get switched to replace 1st period cuz it’s only my class and one class taught by kyouto-sensei that got switched? I’m so confused with these random schedule changes that I’m not told about. Even for my school, this is a LOT, and it’s weird. But hey, I’m not gonna complain on having 1st period off!! and 4 classes are better than five! XD

3rd period with 2-4 was ok, with minimal annoyance from Masaya…. I think ignoring him works well on him… once he’s calmed down, I’ll be his friend again. Then it was 4th period with 3-4, and I dunno. It was weird. I mean, they were better behaved and more communicative than they have been in the previous music lessons, but more than half of them didn’t bother trying to answer the quiz or find the missing words. And it wasn’t THAT hard since many kids in other classes have said this lesson was easier. They seemed to like the song though. Also, Bad Ryota was singing. lol. Some made-up Japanese words, but he was singing along to the beat and it was funny.

Oh, and on the way to 2-4, I ran into the kids from 1-1 going to their music class, and got another proof that Johnny has a crush on me…. I was walking along with some kids, and when they saw me they went “Soma! Soma!!” (that’s Jhonny’s name) to make him turn around so he would look at me being there. When he did, they all giggled and he made this face like he pretended it wasn’t a big deal. pwah! Cute.

During class with 1-5, I learned that Akane (the kid who greeted me by showing me her ViViD pictures on the first day) was Ayane’s sister! (again, parents… a golf clap for originality in naming your kids…) Ayame was the only kid who liked VK in school for the last two years… me and her used to chat about Alice9 and I’m actually the one who made her discover ViViD cuz she didn’t know them before. I guess it makes sense that her kid sister likes VK too then. She was like “sensei! How do you write visual kei?” lol.

Then in class with 3-5, it was okay but they were kinda listless… Kazuma was sleeping on his desk the WHOLE time, and grunted “not another music lesson!” when he saw me taking out my ipod at the beginning of the class. Well first of all, I TOLD you all that sentaku classes were gonna be music for the WHOLE YEAR. (I guess he was sleeping when I said that too) and my music lessons are cool!! *sulks* Anyways, after class was over he woke up yawning and I was like “did you sleep well?” and he nodded with a huge sleepy grin. Later, he was washing his face at the taps or something and I was like “you’re ALWAYS sleeping!” and he just nodded and grinned this super cute smile at me! aaaargh! I can’t hate on him when he is being cute, dammit!

Oh yeah, and during class, again, all the students giggled when I said “Sebastien”, introducing the band members, so I finally asked “ok, what’s so funny?!” (cuz it had happened in every single class) and apparently there is a character called Sebastian in Doraemon… who knew? ;p


Morning! Today shall be very relaxed so I’m quite happy about it. The schedule is all crazy again so I shall have one class – maybe two. But I’m not sure about the first one cuz the schedule says 1nensei have no class today, but then I checked in one class yesterday and it was only 3rd and 4th period. Bah. I’m just gonna sit here and see if someone comes to tell me that I should be somewhere else :p

Huuuh… guess what… I guess I have no classes today! I just went to see Mizushima-sensei and he asked me to please not come again… I guess it’s kinda bad cuz it’s the second week in a row but… whatever. I know the tests are coming up next week and they are stressed. meh.

Well it’s now past 3pm and I can tell you that absolutely nothing exciting happened today. Bah. On to the weekend!!!

1 comment:

  1. You're doing music for the whole year? Man, I wish I had had teachers like that! Reading this blog, I'm almost missing my life as an ALT... I really should have studied Japanese more, maybe I would have been a better teacher then :S At least, I'm glad it's working out well for you!