cute, funny, retarded, perverted, weird and generally entertaining things my students tell me on a daily basis.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Week of October 18th to 22nd


First and 3rd period got switched somehow, but with only the ichinensei… which means that I had 1-3 first, and then 1-1 during third period. 1-3 were right proper little zombie the whole fucking time. It was actually kinda unnerving. Aoshima-sensei even flipped out at them for not answering a question he was asking them in Japanese (it was funny cuz he is an unusually quiet and soft-spoken man. lol). During my part, they were even more zombiefied. I made that comment to Aoshima-sensei at the end of class, and he went “yeah, they did Thriller during sports day” and I just stood staring at him like “holy shit! did you just crack a joke just now?!” I was too stunned for words. Oh, also, I walked up to dinosaur-boy at the beginning of the class cuz he hadn’t opened his book yet, and he looked up to me and went, in perfect English “may I help you?” lol. That kid is the cutest.

1-1 went much better, and once the little smart asses figured out what I wanted them to do (I was showing them pictures of cars and they had to say adjectives like “long, expensive, fast”…) they started saying words that were the obvious opposite of what I wanted them to say. So when I showed a tiny car they all went “big! very big!!” It was cute. At least it showed enthusiasm on their part.

I was supposed to have 1-2 with Yuka right after, but since tests are tomorrow (and she’d forgotten we had class) she said to please not come. Sweet, considering I am sleepy as hell.

What is not so sweet is that I had somehow not written down on my schedule that I had class with 3-1 in the afternoon. Lucky for me I figured it out before lunch break, and even luckier that that class hadn’t done the MCR lesson yet… otherwise I would’ve been FUCKED. I’m in the process of devising a new music lesson now for Thursday, but it’s not ready yet. Oh yeah, speaking of which. Last Friday, I was marveling about the fact that the new giant tvs we can roll into class can plug onto our computers. I said to Hasegawa sensei that I thought it was cool cuz I’d be able to show videos in my music class and she went “yeah, the children would be less bored than just listening to music”. and I was like “excuse me?!” I swear, she keeps making these passive aggressive remarks at me!! She isn’t even there during the music classes, and at least I’m TRYING to do something different… sheesh. What’s her problem?! (sorry, had to get that off my chest).

Anyways, class with 3-1? Well, it sucked. I really don’t know why I bother even trying anymore… maybe I’ll just show them movies from now on. To be fair, they have tests tomorrow and they are all super tired cuz they are studying like crazy for the stupid tests. when I showed up to class during break, my usual little crazy posse was being incredibly hyper, with Kousuke reading out practice questions from a book and whenever any of them answered it correctly they would howl. That’s right, howl. Like wolves :/ As soon as class started though, they proceeded to pass out on their desks. yay.


Today was test day so I had no classes. I was REALLY happy about it, and no crazy fuckup came around to give me afternoon classes, so I just focused on prepping my new music lesson and reading blogs. It was so nice :p


Today is tests again, but only until 3rd period (weird). At least I get a nice little 3 period break to wake-up before I have to attack the giant human blob that is 3-4… They better like my goddamn video!!!!

Aaaargh… Ryotaaaaa…. I want to punch you in the face!!! Or at least squeeze you little neck really tight!! urgh!! Well actually I did – squeeze his neck, I mean – in a choking motion… as a joke though, which he found funny… damn him. He is such a little shit…. Actually, class went well enough, considering. They got super excited when they saw the tv and all started squealing “Spiderman?!” and I was like “no, we are not watching Spiderman…”  See, this is because Mizushima-sensei had promised them that before summer vacation, but it ended up never happening… Anyways, they paid more attention than usual, I think and the video at the end was a success, but Ryota… maaaan, that kid. he kept dicking around with Shun… being really loud about it too, and looking at Ne-Yo’s picture and going “kitanai!” which means “dirty” cuz he was black… Japanese people get reeeeeeaally little exposure to black people, so the reaction when they do (for kids at least) is often giggles. Anyways. Also during the song he kept doing these really ridiculous dance moves, and trying to get his buddies across the room to look at him and laugh at him. ergh… he did tell me he really liked the song at the end though, which was kinda “wtf?” but I guess… *sigh* Anyways, it could’ve been worse.

5th period was with 1-5, and they were really fun, as usual. When I walked into the class, a bunch of kids said “hey” and I went “what, no cheering today?” so they went “yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!” lol. Then the funny chubby kid with the buzz cut and glasses was being super loud while repeating the words Aoshima-sensei was saying, and it was just really funny. When reading the text he would go “oh really?” going really high on the “really” and making everybody crack up. Fun times.

Ran into Ayumu on the way back and he was walking around in zig-zags going “tsukaretaaaaa….” (I’m tired…) lol. I asked him how his tests went and he went “tests? I don’t do tests…”  ;p


First period was my Ne-Yo music lesson with 3-5. They were better than 3-4, but Kazuma was there and he was turned around in this seat and talking with Ryohei the whole time… even though he was the first kid in the line and like RIGHT in front of me… I had to tell him several times to shut up and turn around, and even one time physically turn him around… sheesh. Shigeki-sensei was freakin’ hilarious with his comments, as always. Today’s prized jem was “I love Michael Jackson, he looks like Michael Jackson. Great dancer”. yup. They reeeeeeaaallly look alike……… -_-

3rd period was 2-4 and 4th was 2-5 and it was the same lesson and because I’m a bad, lazy blogger, I can’t remember what happened much, besides the fact that Masaya was way quieter than usual, except for a bit of his usual “rebound” banter at the beginning and end of class.


That’s right, Saturday. Today is a special day, so the parents can come and watch their kids having lessons. In exchange for being here today, we had last Monday off – which is really stupid if you ask me because they should’ve given us next Monday off instead so we could have at least two days off in a row… but I have learned a long time ago that most of the decisions my school makes don’t make sense, so…

Anyhow, the day started off to a not too fantastic start as the train that I take to get to school was stopped (I dunno why, maybe rain?) and the guy at the gate was saying it could be an hour before it would start running again. Turns out it was only ten minutes, but I still had to call my school to say I was gonna be late. As luck would have it, I showed up just in time for my first lesson, which kinda sucked because at that point I would have preffered just skipping it, but whatever.

First period was 1-7 and all went well. Kiddies cheered a bit when I walked in and Eitaro was super cute. He took his job as the “mokuso” (quiet minute) leader very seriously. Only one parent showed up. I guess it was too early.

After that I had my MCR lesson with 3-3, I was super stoked about it, but then I had problem after problem after problem with the video and the computer/tv and in the end I couldn’t play it, which sucked. Koudai and his little posse were having a grand old time of watching me trying to fix it and making cracks at my “angry face”. They kept going “Vanessa is angry!” in English, which was very funny. No parents came to the class.

I managed to fix the problem in 3-6, and by the time I got there, parents had started trickling in. I think I may have freaked them out a bit with the video and by teaching the kids important things like “you’re nuts” and “I hate your guts”. But hey, it’s international lesson time! Who cares! lol. The kids were all really giddy. I dunno if they wanted to impress their parents or what but they were all really chipper and paying attention and answering my questions… even Masamitsu was in a good mood (although he said the video was crazy and he didn’t like the song…) One funny thing though, Taisei didn’t say a word the whole time, and just sat quietly in the back. I asked him what was up at the end of the class and he told me he was tired cuz he had a cold… damn. it’s like the energizer bunny winding down… lol.

On the way back I ran into Minami, Nao and another 3-1 girl who stopped to have a chat with me. I honestly can’t remember what it was about, but Minami was trying really hard to talk in English, which impressed me. Then when I passed in front of 3-1, some of the boys were dicking around and mumbled something at me and I stopped and went “what?” and they obviously chickened out of repeating what they had originally said, but then Kouki asked me if my mother was coming today, which cracked me up. I asked “why, do you want to meet my mother?” and he said “yes!” lol…. maybe next time…

lol… I’m checking the comment sheets from the music classes… one of the kids from 3-6 wrote “I have a cold. But my listening power is perfect!!!” lol. Cracked me up so much! No mistakes either! !

Monday, October 17, 2011

Week of October 10th to 14th

Soooorry! last week I was very sick! so I pretty much didn’t write down anything of what happened….


was public holiday.


First class with 1-7, they cheered when I walked in ^___^  especially Eitaro. Really loud. Which made me wanna hug him cuz he is soooooo cuuuuuuute! Class went well.

2nd period with 3-5 went okay. I was watching Kiyo not doing one of the speaking activities (where they have to walk around asking other people for their answers) so I was gonna go over and ask him the questions, but he saw me coming and started running away from me! lol. I chased him around the classroom. Twice. Then he went and asked some other kid.

On the way back to the staffroom, I ran into Dan and Kota. Dan just mouthed “hello” to me, so I mouthed it back, then Kota said “hello!” and Dan smacked him upside the head and said in Japanese “No! You have to do it silently!!!”

5th period was with 3-2, so I was looking forward to it, but then the bell rang and Hasegawa sensei wasn’t showing up. I waited a little bit cuz sometimes teachers are just late, but she wasn’t coming at all. She hadn’t told me anything about it so I wasn’t sure what to do. I was chatting with the kids a bit; Daisuke and Ayano were being all “raburabu” and almost holding hands under the desk. *cute* and they were looking at some purikura and I asked them if they had puri together, and he gave me a big “yes!!” and she went “no no no!” I laughed and said I wanted to see it. Dan and Kota were being pervy teenagers and daring each other to say stuff to me in English, except I could totally hear them mumbling “nice body”, and a more entertaining “what are you doing tonight” in perfect English, which cracked me up. Finally someone told me that Hasegawa sensei was taking the class picture with her homeroom for the yearbook. That’s nice. Couldn’t she have told me before? Anyhow. So I made them play crossfire and we still managed to finish before she got back. :/ Then we just did review and practice for the test for the rest of the class (when she finally came back) Dan decided he was sleeping through the whole thing, and no amount of poking could get him to actually do anything. Then this other baseball boy, Takaya, was just sleeping on his desk, and I went to poke him awake. He perked up, but 5 minutes later I turned around and he was sleeping again. Later, I was messing around with Daisuke (who sits just in front of him) and pretending to punch him awake, and Daisuke goes “shh… broke heart. It’s ok”, making a sad face and broken-heart gesture with his hands. Aww… has this big tall baseball guy gotten his heart broken by a tiny JHS girl? Poor kid. So I let him sleep :p


Today, morning classes were cancelled because of the sports test day. When I showed up, the staff room was empty and most of the teachers were outside on the field. I thought that was weird because I don’t remember it being like that in the past (I also don’t remember having a special day just for P.E. tests, but then again, maybe that’s just me getting senile…) but mostly I was just worried that someone was gonna come and ask me to join them. A) I’ve been so busy with classes recently that I have been relishing this day of doing almost nothing for a while, and B) I had to plan some lessons for the next 1st and 2nd year classes, so I needed that time to do that, not to go and pretend to be useful out there in the sun. Anyways, no one did so all was well.

During 5th period, 3 teachers had special demo classes (one in each year) that other teachers went to observe. Normally that means I get to sit on my ass by myself in the staffroom, but unlucky for me, one of them was Shigeki-sensei, and he had asked me (like 3 months ago) to “please assist” him. And by that he meant answer one conversation question and then walk around the class helping the kids as they work. Hard work. But whatever, since I didn’t have anything else today, I took my role as his shadow very seriously :p It was with his homeroom, 2-4 – or in other words : Masaya’s class. The aforementioned specimen was surprisingly well behaved, and class went really well, mostly because Shigeki-sensei had already prepped them and told them exactly what they were gonna do… *shakes head* oh well.

When I walked into the class, Manaka greeted me by flashing this towel at me and going “Vanessa! look! look!” and I was a bit puzzled til I noticed the towel said “Tohoshinki” and so I was like “cool!” and gave her a high five. She said to me “I love ~ (honestly, I forgot which one…)” and then she posed and said “my mother loves Yuno”, doing a little hearts gesture with her hands, which was really cute. Then I told her that I liked Changmin and she went “nooooooooo!!! XX much better!” lol.

Another funny thing was that we were studying “I think that ~” and during the intro part of the lesson, Shigeki-sensei asked (as a joke) “what do you think of my hair?” Well, this one kid who is sort of an overachiever and really good at English stands up and goes, super confidently “I think it’s great!” lol. My JTE is like 60 and his thinning grey hair. Also, the same kid’s team’s speech at the end went like this.

A: Do you know mister Shigeki? He is my homeroom teacher. He is kind and loves sake. What do you think about my Shigeki?
B: oh I know. I like him. I think his hair is great.



Really sleepy this morning, and really unexcited by the perspective of having 5 classes. Lucky for me, due to some mysterious fucking up of the schedule (again) 2nd period disappeared so I only have 4. actually, I may have 3 cuz I saw the sub teacher girl earlier, which means Yuka isn’t here, which means that she probably forgot that I’m supposed to go to her class, which means that if I don’t go, nobody will know…. hmmm….

Anyways, first period was with 1-1 and it was pretty uneventful. At the beginning of class, Soma was looking at all the stickers on his name-card and asking me what happened when he got to 20. I told him he’d get a special prize and he went “ooooh…” really thoughtfully. It was kinda funny. Also, I realized that he is now taller than me. He’s 12. I feel short :/

Next was 1-3 during 4th period. They were REALLY boring. Most entertaining moments involved me going up to this TINY kid who has GIANT eyelashes (they look like fake lashes.. they are that long!) and freaking him out by trying to touch them and saying “wow, your eyelashes are so long!” and having him reply in really polite Japanese “yes, I’m often told that” lol. Then this other kid was talking to his friend and referring to me as “kinpatsu sensei” (means gold-haired teacher) which cracked me up. And of course the tiny kid with the beauty mark under his eye who answered “I study dinosaur!!” when I asked “what do you study”…  (remember last week he told me he WAS a dinosaur? :p)

Then, I stopped by the teacher’s toilet before going back to the staffroom, and ran into this young part-time teacher who teaches Japanese and has never ever talked to me (I secretly hate her cuz the hot teacher is always hitting on her as well…) and she goes to me (in Japanese) “aren’t you hungry?” so I reply that indeed, I am hungry. She giggles and tells me that she is so hungry too and always looks forward to eating kyushoku…. hhhmmmm… Okay! That was fucking random…

Last class of the day was regular English with 3-6, and it was pretty boring at first, but actually turned out really fun towards the end. First off, during break, this one kid was looking out of the window and I crept up next to him until my cheek was almost next to him but just behind him, to make him freak out when he turned around – which he did – but the funny part was that when he walked back to his seat, all the other boys were teasing him, going “you stud! You just kissed Vanessa! woooh!” lol. (I didn’t even touch him, FYI…) then, during the class there was this big argument with the one group in the back about how you were supposed to say “Daibutsu” in English, so I said “big Buddha” and they thought it was hilarious and refused to write it down and kept on going Daibutsu, Daibutsu… and then I said “there are 3 daibutsus in Japan” and they just cracked up and kept repeating “daibutsu-zu” like it was the most hilarious thing in the world… Honestly, I didn’t really get it, but they seemed entertained. At the end, I got to play my game and they surprisingly got really into it, which was a lot of fun. One of my questions was “this type of music is liked by Vanessa” and the first kid who’s hand shot up was Seiya (the tall one) and he went “visual!” and that was correct, so I gave him the point, but then Taisei yelled from the back “That’s not fair! He’s a Vanessa otaku!” and everybody laughed including me. It’s especially funny considering that kid is not one of my fanboys at all…


First period was 3-4 and it started horribly bad, with them being more I-don’t-give-a-shit-about-anything than I’d ever seen them before… but it (to my incredible surprise) turned around at the end. Mostly, Ryota was just being super loud, wandering around, talking over Hasegawa-sensei… He even spent a good 5 minutes out of his seat in the back, talking to Ryouga about weekend plans, and then shouting over some other kids’ heads at Yasutoshi to ask if he was in as well, and I was just watching them but it took AGES before Hasegawa-sensei even said anything. Then she started reading out the names of all the kids who hadn’t handed in their notebooks for correction, and starts chiding them, and Ryota goes “eh? not me?!” and she goes back to her list and exclaims “of course, you.. how did I miss you…” which was kinda funny and everybody laughed. Then they did their stupid practice test... most of them… and when it was time for my game at the end, I was super worried, but what do you know, Mr. Bad Kid himself got SO into it. First of all I asked them “we’re gonna play a trivia game. Who knows what is triva?” and when I asked this in the other classes no one knew, but Ryota jumps up and “demonstrates” smashing a buzzer button, making a buzzer sound. And I’m like “yeah, that’s right!” So we play the game and he’s SO into it… and even answered some of the questions correctly. lol. Actually his team won (not because of him, but still) so he finally got a sticker he earned, for once, haha…

2nd period was 2-2 and at the beginning of the class, Yuichiro was sitting with his earthquake pillow over his head, mumbling “I am a pumpkin” in English… wtf. Class went well. Can’t remember too much of it now though.

3rd period was 3-3 and it went really well. I always forget how good a class this is since somehow I don’t see them that often. I spent most of the time dicking around with Kaho and Tomoya in the back of the class… they were really entertaining. When I was talking to Kaho, I peered at her eyes and went “heeeey…. are you wearing contacts?” and she looks at me with a clueless look so I go “colorcon!” and she gives me this sudden look of shock and anger and brings a finger to her lips and goes “secret!!!!” lol. Like, who would I tell? Actually, I was surprised cuz it really wasn’t obvious at all. Afterwards we kept harassing Tomoya and calling him “tomochan” and he kept saying (in English) “please call me Tomoya” and Kaho was pissing herself and she asked me if I was in love with him.  I said yes, cuz he’s sooooo cuuuute, and she just wouldn’t stop laughing and he was super embarrassed. Also he wrote “I want to kill you with a sword” on her paper, in cursives… I was like “wtf?! And how do you know how to write in cursives???” at the end of the class, he asked me to explain to him what “damn it!” meant. lol. where does he find these words?!

Oh and also, one of them had written “Geromu” in katakana on Hiromu’s desk, and at first I thought it was Ke and not Ge so I asked “why Keromu” and they go “no. Ge. Gero”. and I’m like “Gero… oh!” and burst out laughing, which cracked them up. Gero means “puke” in Japanese…

Finally 5th period was with 1-5. When I showed up on their floor, there was apparently some kind of mess going on, with some of the teachers directing the kids into wiping the floor next to the sinks… they kinda finished as I made my way through and I heard voices behind me go “masaka… go kumi?” (basically, “can it be? she’s going to group 5?!” and I heard them and raised my hand showing five fingers and they all ran at me from behind going “yaaaaaay!!” and they all attacked me with high-fives. lol. Cutest thing ever. When I walked into the classroom there was more cheering and I went “I love you guys! you always cheer when I come!” then this group of kids at the front where talking and pointing at me and all I caught was “dekai” which means “really big” and I asked them what they were talking about, and it was my earrings. Apparently they were baffled by the size of them (which is funny cuz I wear them almost every day… it’s not the first time they’ve seen me with them) so I said “big? No way! These are my work earrings. I wear even bigger ones on the weekend!!”  I don’t think they believed me…

Speaking of which, I believe it’s time to go!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Week of September 26th to 30th


Aaah, back to work after a week of retardedness. Not too genki today for personal reasons but class this morning actually went well.

I had first period with Yuka in 1-6 and I ended up teaching the whole thing because it was a 45 min lesson and the chimes were broken and we started late… anyways, it went well.

Then I had 2-4 with Shigeki and of course Masaya was a nutcase… he kept saying something about me having miso in the brain? “miso tariru” or something? Anyways, it was very easy to understand that it meant that I’ve got a few lose screws… lol. He also asked me if I was wearing fake lashes, and said that it was better with my nails off. (I took them off about a week ago…) Then at the end of the class, I forget why but I said to him “thank you darling”. I mean that’s just kinda normal for me to call the kiddies “honey” or “sweety” or whatnot, but in Japanese, “darling” is the word you use for your boyfriend, and Manaka heard me call him that and she went “she said darling! darling!!!” and wouldn’t stop giggling… I think he got upset because he started babbling on about me being “rebound” again and honestly, it was kinda incoherent. Then after he was like “Vanessa don’t reboud, ok? you can’t gain weight again. no way! ganbatte!” LOL. I can’t help it, I love him so much even though he is an annoying little fuck. but it’s also painfully obvious that he tries extra hard to be annoying just to have my attention ^_-

Then in 3rd period with 3-1 it also went well. It was my first time having regular English with them since the end of summer vacation and the vibe was definitely very different. Minami was falling asleep on her desk with her mouth opened. Nichika and Kouki were being SUPER loud, and it was kinda annoying, but they were being loud while answering the questions and actually doing the work, so… Also, when I walked into the class during break, Nichika and some other boys were playing at hitting each other on the legs with towels…… :/ yeah, I don’t get it either.

Ooooh boy… Nami just walked by my desk to go talk to another teacher (with another friend), then she backtracked and came over to whisper that I was “very very cute”, walked back to the other teacher’s desk, then backtracked again and went “Vanessa… I love you!” in her super random “Nami tone”, and I laughed and said “me too honey” and she walked off again. Then she ran into her homeroom teacher and told her in Japanese “I was just doing English conversation with Vanessa! look, look!” and she dragged her over to me and repeated the whole “iloveyou/me too” scene for the benefit of the teacher, who patted her on the shoulder. LOL!

There is this full length mirror on the wall of the level between the ground floor and first floor… the staffroom is on the 1st floor, and the lady teachers’ toilet is on the ground floor, so if I have to use the toilet, I have to go downstairs and walk in front of the big mirror all the time. Well, I just did that now, and on the way, I heard voices from above me going “I am Vanessa, I like Vanessa…” and at this point I was almost at the end of the stairs so I dunno if they were talking about me cuz they saw my reflection in the mirror, or if they were just randomly talking about me, but I decided to wait for them at the bottom, around the staircase to let them know I had heard them. The look on their faces as they saw me was just priceless. Three 2nd year boys. Shock, followed by embarrassment and a shy grin. tihee!!

My two chalk girls just came over and were like “oh Vanessa! You cut your hair!” (in Japanese) and then one of them goes “color?” and I say yes, I colored it a bit, and she goes “green”. lol. Indeed, the toner was a bit too strong and some bits of my hair have a greenish tinge. It’ll wash out in a day or two, but yay my dear sweeties for your complete lack of tact. Then they started talking about how the color was actually quite nice, and petting my hair saying it was really soft and going “iiiiiii naaaaaa”. lol.


Ex-fattie 3rd year boy (I forgot his name… I swear he lost like 30lbs over summer vacation! I should ask him his trick!!) was asking me if I was cold in the hall on my way… then Yuta, the quiet baseball boy with glasses comes over and joins him, showing me that he was wearing a HEAT TECH shirt… wtf… It’s 23C outside… and then, as I started to argue with them about how it’s not really cold, Rina grabbed my hand and just dragged me back to her classroom with her. I didn’t even have class with her class…

During class with 3-5, Hasegawa sensei may or may not have made a sarcastic crack at my lesson planning skills… she went “let’s play Vanessa’s fun game! We are so thankful to Vanessa for making this great game!” and I was like “Really lady? It’s battleship… either you are a bit of your rocker, or you are making fun of me…” either way… meh. It IS a fun game, so shut up! Plus the kids love it and it fits the grammar point. End of story.

Just now in the staffroom, Kouchou-sensei stopped by my desk, pointed to my shirt and went “steki”. I went “huh?” cuz I wasn’t sure if he had said “suteki” really fast or something else, but no, he went on “suteki… kirei… iro ga kirei… niau”. (wonderful, beautiful, the color is beautiful… it suits you well). I mean that is a lot or super random praise coming out of nowhere from the principal. So cue me saying thank you and blushing like an idiot. I guess I should probably mention that my shirt is pretty form-fitting too… so he was probably just looking for an excuse to stare at my tits… oh well.

3-2 in the afternoon with Hasegawa-sensei went well. Daisuke kept practicing this dance or speech thing he was supposed to do as the leader of his team for sports day (more on that retardedness later…) and it was kinda funny but kinda annoying. Dan and Kota had their comedy act going again and kept going “he is stinky! you are stinky! I am stinky!” and doing funny poses… during the game I was trying to explain what a nickname was, and so I said “my name is Vanessa, but my friends call me Nessa. It’s my nickname” and so on the way out of the classroom in the hallway, Dan was like “hey Nessa!” thinking he was very funny. Also I had a little posse of boys following me around, Kota was going “hey, what’s your name?” and I’m like “Vanessa. you know my name” and he goes on, “no, no, I don’t know your name!” and I’m laughing, so I ask him “what’s your name?” and he raises his arms and shoulders and goes “I don’t have name!”, all the while, Nichika and Kouki from 3-1 have appeared out of nowhere, asking me if I’m heading to their class for sentaku English next period. I said no and they looked super distraught, then kept walking along with me, Dan, Kota and whoever else was there. As we passed the door of their classroom, I heard Minami yell “Vanessa!!!” and Kouki yelled back “Vanessa inai! there is NO Vanessa!” lol. The whole thing happened within about a minute. It was really odd.

Then I had 2-6 with the kid who no longer has chubby cheeks and is so cute. I made him my little assistant for the game demo. mwaha.

And now for the retardedness. Earlier today, I asked Hasegawa sensei why today was short schedule and she said “because we will have sports day in the afternoon”. So picture me super confused cuz, didn’t we just have sports day on Thursday? Surely I didn’t dream all of that… No, no. I was quite sane. Apparently, instead of having sports day ending around 6pm on Thursday, someone had the bright idea of leaving it unfinished, and then adding an extra two hours today AFTER SCHOOL for the races that were missed because we started late. Most retarded idea ever. Of course no one told me, and I didn’t go to the enkai and left before the end so I wouldn’t have known, but still. I’m pretty sure everyone expects me to be outside right now, and the kids would probably like it if I was cheering with them, but A) I don’t have my sporty clothes (not that it matters really, but you know) B) it’s really sunny and I have a fucking headache, and C) I learned about it about 2 hours ago, I am not mentally prepared for this shit. So fuck that.


First period was 1-1. On the way I always run into all the first grade students going to classes in the main building so I have a million kids in a row going “hello!” to me, and then Eitaro passed by and went “hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!” for seriously like at least 30 seconds, and it was really funny, and then his friend told him (in Japanese) that he was crazy and they ran off to class cuz they were late. lol.

Schedule was all fucked up again. Why?

Third period was 1-3. That tiny kid with the strange name and a beauty mark under his eye was mumbling something that was meant to be funny in Japanese, but I couldn’t understand (it was a slang word I didn’t know) and then he stopped and started going “I am a dinosaur!” and I just laughed and said “you’re too small” and he looked at his friends all confused so I said “chiccha-sugi” and he made a face and all the other kids laughed so I felt a bit bad and said “maybe you’re a baby dinosaur…” and he carried on going “I am a dinosaur!” I left him to it.

Fourth was 2-1. The “cool boys” were discussing who was using hair wax in their hair (they’re not allowed. also they’re 12. lol) and I accidentally spit on gyaruo boy and he made a big show of wiping himself. Oops. Ayumu was being his usual attention-seeking-little self. and Wataru kept turning around to look at me during Shigeki’s part of the class and if I looked back at him he would smile shyly and look away. Cuuuuuute!!! I want to adopt him, seriously.


First period was 1-2, Yuka’s class, but Yuka was absent today and I was teaching with that weird sub girl… Ok, I’m mean, she’s not weird she just looks really stuck-up :p Anyways, my lesson took all of the time so I was teaching the whole lesson.

4th period was with 2-3. Did I mention I LOVE 2-3? They are so freakin’ adorable… A few of the boys are totally in love with me and always come to talk to me super eagerly during breaks, but as opposed to the brats in 2-1 (whom I also love…), they are SUPER well-behaved during class, which makes teaching them a pure joy. They are like your dream class as a teacher, basically… always eager to answer your questions and do what you say. Anyways, I walked into class to Kazunari shouting “Vanessa, I love you!” at me, and a few of the other boys giggling, like they’d dared him to it. He had a bruise or something on his bottom lip so I asked him “What happened? Did someone punch you?” and he goes “no, no, no! sick!” I made a face and went “oh, did you kiss somebody?” and he went all red and laughed, saying “no, no, no!” again. lol.

During class, when I asked for volunteers (I needed 2) Daiyu and Jun’s hands shot up almost before I could finish my sentence, and then Kazunari looked all bummed out that he hadn’t been fast enough. Cutie. At the end of class, they came over to chat again (the same group of boys) and Kazu was like “hello. my name is (last name) Kazunari, nice to meet you!” and so I said nice to meet you too and shook his hand. Then Daiyu also went “Hello. My name is (last name) Kazunari, nice to meet you!” and I said “no! You are a liar!” So they’re all going “lion? he is lion?” and then cracking up, so I explained what liar meant, but they all kept on “he is lion! haha!” so I said that actually I was a lion. Well a leo. and I tried explaining the zodiac to them but it just flew right over their heads, and I didn’t know the word in Japanese. At one point, cutie-pie Yusuke was like “Vanessa, ganbatte!” (which gave me an inner “awwww”) cuz I was trying to find the words, but in the end I just couldn’t.

As I was walking out the door, Marina (one of the girls who likes VK) chased after me and asked me something in Japanese and all I could understand was “Miyavi”. She was basically asking me if I was following him on twitter and I said yes, and she was like “oh, I have a twitter too! Your twitter name is Vanessa?” and I went “eeh……….. chotto chigau” (it’s a little different) and I kinda smiled and ran out. Not that I don’t love her but… I REALLY don’t want her adding me on twitter! :/

After lunch I googled some stuff about the zodiac and printed it out so I could go and show it to the boys from 2-3 again. They were chilling in the 2nd year hallway and so a bunch of other boys from 2-1 also showed up and they were all trying to see their horoscope… but of course it was all in English so they were kinda frustrated, haha. Daiyu and Kazunari seemed pretty peachy though ^_^

5th period was 1-4 with the sub again. Went really well. Everyone was so genki… Akira was adorably confused again. I went to help him answer the questions, and the first one was “who is your best friend?” and he was thinking and answered (ever so slowly, cuz that’s how he does everything “jaaaa…. Vanessa ni shiou…” (I’ll choose Vanessa) and his friend in front of him laughed and so I put my arm around Akira’s shoulder and went “yeah, me and Akira, we’re best friends!” so he went ahead and wrote “Vanessa” on his paper. lol. and then later on, one of the questions was “what’s your favorite food?” and I was explaining while giving my own answers as demo, and I asked the kids if they knew what my favorite food was, and they started throwing random guesses and I was like “no, no, no…. Akira, what’s my favorite food?” and at first he was confused and then went “Ha! Takoyaki!” and he looked sooo pleased when I said “that’s right”… it was adorable. and then he went “yappari, kansai-jin da ne…”

Hideaki (the little grumpy one, I always call him Hideki… oops!) was also in a super chipper mood. He kept joking around and even waved me over to help him out a few times!!! I was so pleasantly surprised! Later on, as I was checking answers and giving out stickers, one of the boys did something silly (I forget what) and so I exclaimed (to myself) “he’s so cute!” and one girl nearby heard me and went “cute?!” and so I said “yes, I love ichinensei smaaaall boys. They’re so cute!” and a bunch of the girls laughed as she translated for her friends. Then I nudged her and said that Hideki was my favorite one, but don’t tell him cuz it might make him angry. And that’s when they told me I was saying his name wrong. Also they laughed.

Oh and also, the very first activity was that the kids had to identify 3 famous people and write who they were on the paper. The pictures were: AKB48, Lady Gaga, and Sakurai Sho (a member of Arashi that at least 80% of the girls at my school are in love with). Now the two kids in front of me kept going “ano hito, dare?” (who is this person?) like, over and over, and they recognized Lady Gaga but not the other two, so after yet another “ano hito, dare?”, I said to them – in this really huffed up, polite Japanese voice “honto ni nihonjin desu ka?” (are you really Japanese?!” and they laughed and the little boy made a serious face and went “honto ni Canada-jin desu ka?” lol! it was so cute.

6th period was 3-6 with Hasegawa-sensei, Taisei was being his usual class-clown self, but even more than usual. Plus, all the boys were sweating buckets since they were just returning from gym class, and then they all put their sweaters on?!?! I was like WHY are you putting your sweaters on when you are dripping with grossness?!? but they seemed to think I was the weird one… eeeeeh. Japanese people, I don’t get you. Masamitsu was back to his too-cool-for-school self, unfortunately, and pretty much refused to do anything the whole class, except when we played battleship at the end. We made them pair up with the person next to them and Taisei went “eeeeeeeeeehhh?!?! Crap!! If I played against Masamitsu, I’d be sure to win!” which I thought was kinda mean, but they’re like best friends, so whatever. Masamitsu was playing with Yuta, and then at the end, when Yuta won, him and Taisei were talking and I heard “well of course, nobody can lose when playing against Masamitsu”. Aaawww!! No wonder the kid hates English!!


Thank god it’s Friday, is all I have to say.

I really hate when I have all back-to-back lessons because a) it’s really tiring, and b) I can’t really remember what happened in the earlier classes because they get supplanted and I have terrible memory, so I can’t record anything good for this blog. meh.

First period was regular English with 3-4 and it SUCKED. They have just completely checked out, they are so lazy and they do fuck all. Even Hasegawa sensei looked like she just didn’t care anymore. It’s a bit sad. Ryota refused to play the game because I made them pair up with the person next to them instead of their friends, and then at the end he still got up to come and get a sticker and I was like “HA! I think not!” and he tried it twice! Kid, how dense can you be?! I went over and chatted with him at one point and he informed me that it wasn’t just English he didn’t give a shit about, he just hated school in general. Oh well, now I know.

After that, I had 2-2 with Shigeki, and I can’t really remember what happened except that I was chatting with a bunch of girls before class and they were like “oh… your eyes are blue! Contacts?” and anyways, same old conversation but I told them that everyone in my family except my mom had blue eyes. I said my mom had green eyes and they freaked “green?!?!?” and then one of the girls asked “how about their hair colors?” which I thought was a really funny question. So I said most of them were either light brown or dark blonde… Oh yeah! and then Ayaka ran over and sneakily pulled something out of a bag to give it to me… it was some kind of leaflet/small magazine thing, that was just full of pictures of Shou from Alice Nine. lol. This is the second time she’s given me stuff from them. Actually, he looks really hot in all the pictures so I was a bit giddy! hahaha…

3rd period was 3-3, and though I was starting to be really dead by that point, I was cheered on by the fact that they were so much better than 3-4. I kept having to go check up on Tomoya at the back of the class cuz he was always pretending to read or pretending to write, and he would basically do it only if I was standing next to him. also had a nice little chat with Koudai about how he looked like a monkey and I was way more crazy than him. fun times.

finally, 4th period was with 2-5 and since the only funny thing that happened was at the beginning of the class, when me and Mizushima-sensei were gonna do the model reading, the kids were just supposed to listen and not repeat, but after I said the first line and as my JTE was starting the second, this one kid Shinji launched into it in this super loud voice, but he was the only one and he quickly noticed and finished the sentence in slow motion and looked super embarrassed and everybody laughed. He’s a good kid though so it’s not so bad. also, I had them play a memory card game, and normally it takes about 10 minutes tops for any given team to finish finding all the cards, but this one team was SO bad at it, it was just kinda hilarious! I even went and sat with them for a while and they just kept turning the same cards around over and over cuz they’d forgotten they had… Anyways, it was just funny.

And now it’ 5th period and something’s going on in the gym and I am NOT moving. God, I’m so tired.

Peace out, folks!