cute, funny, retarded, perverted, weird and generally entertaining things my students tell me on a daily basis.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Week of May 23 to 27


Yay, it’s the return of the migraine! and early on top of everything! *grumbles*

First I had class with 1-6, which was fun but pretty uneventful. It was funny cuz they all remembered that Vanessa-sensei had said “I am a visual kei fan” last class and it made them giggle as they kept repeating it to me.

Then, in 2-4, Masaya very nearly made me insane. I think I have created a monster… I very much wanted to throttle him by the end of the class. Along with his usual dickery, he made a crack at my weight, and it was probably just a joke to him, but for me it hit very near to him because I HAVE gained weight recently and I can’t seem to get back on track with my diet… *sigh* anyhow, basically, some of my stickers are “diet stickers” and I bought them accidentally one time last year (didn’t realize what they were, just thought they were cute) and the kids LOVED them, so now I buy them every once in a while. Anyways, Masaya picked one that said “rebound” and he was like “look, look, rebound, that’s you! You kinda got fat in the belly… why don’t you exercise?” and he was just trying to taunt me, but seriously, my eyes nearly popped out of my head. I mean who says that to a teacher?! The worst part is, I still kinda like him… I just wanna punch him really bad… a few times…

After that I had class with 3-1, and when I say “I had class” I mean Hasegawa-sensei had class and she deigned to leave me 10 minutes at the end. I was super cranky (and let her know with an evil look) because she had asked me to prepare an activity for 30 minutes, and the game I had needed at least 20, and there was no time, and I said so. she gave me a look that meant “well, do it anyways” so I just rushed through the instructions, and then the kids had like 5 minutes to play, which is nowhere near enough, and of course nobody finished, so nobody got a sticker and everyone got cranky. I just think it’s stupid cuz what she was doing before was just a stupid worksheet. It’s not like it couldn’t have been continued another class or as homework or anything. She could’ve stopped them any time. It just grates me.


Hello, migraine is still here. Diminished a bit, but still. Class with 1-7 was fun, and Eitaro asked me to sing again. lol. At the end of every class, he comes over and goes “ne, ne, utatte!” (sing!) because on their last class at the elementary school I sang a Lady Gaga song (because they made me, and I had promised) and now, he keeps trying to get me to sing again. lol. But I get self-conscious when asked on the spot! He is too cute though.

Then 2nd period was with 3-5, and just before class started, the soccer playboys were chilling in the hallway and one of them went (to me) “you are scary!” (in English), followed by (after my shocked reaction) “I am scared of Vanessa” (also in English) wtf?! They had obviously memorized those lines and were feeling very smug about it. I have no idea why. If there is one thing I am certainly not, it’s scary. So I told Ryohei “I don’t like you anymore!!” and left them pondering what that meant. Unlucky for him, he was also in my next class. Both him and Kazuma were, so I spent about the first 10 mins of class on their cases. After that, we played battleship, and Kazuma didn’t have a partner so I played with him. He had to ask me how to pronounce each word 5 times, but in the end, he won, and he was quite pleased with himself. I was quite pleased he actually played the game and memorized the words in the end.

In the afternoon I first had class with 3-2, who was waaaay quieter than usual, so it was a bit boring. After that I was supposed to have class with 2-6, but when Mizushima-sensei showed up to class he was like “ooooooh! sorry! I have to give their tests back today, so there’s no time for you.” now, normally, I’d be really pleased at the idea of a free period, but with this migraine standing up and teaching is actually better than sitting at my desk trying to kill time. Since I can’t really focus my attention on anything, it’s more like trying my hardest not to pass out… so I wasn’t too pleased about it.

After 6th period, I decided that I was gonna just wander around the school, because standing up walking felt better than sitting down, and so I did for a bit, and then it was “cleaning time” for a bit, so all the kids were out everywhere cleaning the school. Well, some of them were cleaning, others were beating each others with broomsticks… I stopped and chatted with a few groups of kids… 3rd year girls who asked me who was cooler between the baseball boys and the soccer boys, and then made fun of this one teacher who is kinda balding (lol), another group of really hard working girls, and then the first years got really excited when I wandered over to their building and I probably disrupted their cleaning more than anything else. On my way back, one of the really tall first graders who looks older than everybody else (I think his name is Riku… so doesn’t suit him) started shyly chatting with me in Japanese. He was like “teacher, how long have you been in Japan?” and so I answered “3 years”, and he replied “3 years… was it though?” and I kinda laughed and said “Sometimes. I couldn’t speak Japanese at all when I arrived.” and he nodded thoughtfully and told me he couldn’t speak English, and I tapped him on the shoulder and said “ganbatte!” and he nodded and ran off. lol. It was soooo random and he was so serious the whole time! It made me smile.


First order of the day was 1-1, which went well but nothing particularly extraordinary happened. I think the most note-worthy thing was Johnny staring at my tits, but like, really, REALLY obviously. He’s 12 for fuck’s sake. and so very tiny. It just makes me kinda laugh. Oh well.

Then I had class with 2-1 and they were a bit disappointing. I guess they are a lot weaker than 2-4 so they couldn’t come up with really funny sentences… the boy who has grey hair (yes, he’s 13 and has a shitload of grey hair!!) spent the whole class doodling a big giant fish on his desk. and then Rei and Ryo were dicking about, and trying to get a sticker when their team didn’t even win. Ryo managed to get one unnoticed, sneaky little bastard… oh, speaking of Ryo, he recently cut his hair like some of the 3rd year soccer playboys (shaved on the side) but he doesn’t use any gel or wax to keep it up, so it just kinda looks ridiculous. As I left the class, after the bell rang, Rei came over and asked me to give him a sticker, I said “sure. give me a kiss” and pointed to my cheek and he went “waaah!” and ran off. My kids love me.

After break I had class with 1-3, and it actually had been a good long while since I’ve seen them. We have one new kid who just transferred from Okinawa, and he’s in that class too. I wonder if he can speak English or what, but he was kinda “translating” for the kids around him when I was talking so I suspect his English ability to be high. Anyhow, while we were playing the game, another kid, who is just fucking tiny and looks like a brat was talking and going “blah blah Japanese Japanese POWER japanese Japanese…” and I walked over and I was like “what? You have a super power? What’s your super power?” and he goes “FORCE”, so I’m like “huh? like Star Wars?” and he answers “yes, STAR WARS!”. And so I pick up his eraser and put it in the center of his desk and go “ok. Make it move” and he puts on this look of utter concentration, mumbling “ugoku, ugoku…” (move move) and the he kicks under his desk, obviously making the whole thing shake, and screams “ha! It moved!!” lol. Cutest thing ever.

LOL, I just went wandering around the clubs, to kill time, cuz I’m hella bored, and as I was watching the judo club “sparring”, one of the kids, Tetsuya (Tatsuya – one of my old pervs – ‘s brother… notice the parents’ originality with the names here…) noticed me and, as he was grappling with his opponent, shouted “hello!” waving at me with the hand that was under his opponent’s butt. Probably the most hilarious thing I have seen in a good long while. I burst into laughter, and so did everybody else.


Ok, I am really fucking sick of this migraine who keeps disappearing when I get home at night, and then coming back in the morning… maybe I am just allergic to school? *sigh*

Anyhow, I saw Yuna, Hayato and Haruya on my way to the train station this morning. They all go to different schools, but their schools are near my home so I guess they come on the same train. I think it’s cool that they are keeping their former JHS school pride and keeping together, eheh… well anyhow, usually I just see Hayato, and he just kinda smiles at me or gives me a little nod, but because Yuna was there, she gave me a huge giant wave with both arms accompanied with a giant smile and “hello!” and it made me smile so much. I miss that kid. I also wonder what the other students coming off that train think I am?? lol.

Finally, I think my migraine is gone for good, but I have had too many classes in a row to remember fuck all! in 5th period, I was teaching a class of 1st years and at one point they had to go to the nurse’s office for their health check, but instead of the whole class going at once, they made the girls go first, then the boys, so I was in class teaching only the boys. yay! and the girls took AGES literally, so we just played that one game for ages… but they got really into it and it was a cool vibe. I would do best in an all-boys school, after all *lol*

Then at the end of 6th period, I was walking down the 3rd year hallway, heading back to the staffroom and I feel some water sprinkling my neck and I turn around and see Bad Ryota and another kid (Jumpei? I forget) walking all innocently behind me. So I raise my eyebrow at him and he gives me a sheepish smile going, “oh, sorry!” ha! What is up with that kid? The other one was like “he is crazy boy” and I’m like “no, he is bad boy! Bad Ryota!!” and then they ran off. But the whole thing was all in a light and fun mood though.

That reminds me of something else that I noticed at lunchtime today… a LOT of the 3rd year boys are way nicer to me this year than they were last year… and it reminded me that it kinda happens every year when the 2nd years become 3rd years… I guess they are starting to grow through puberty and suddenly notice that “that annoying gaijin who insists on speaking to me in English all the time” also has giant boobs. And they turn into little lambs. mwahaha.

Just as was leaving the school, in spotted two high school girls talking with Ishida-sensei (the hot gym teacher) and it wasn’t until they went “ah! Vanessa da!” that I recognized Erika and Saki, two of my favorite students who graduated TWO YEARS AGO! I went over and Saki promptly told me “kawattenai!” (you haven’t changed!) and I was like “sure I have! huh… my hair’s longer!” and we chatted and it was a lot of fun. Erika told Ishida-sensei that she’d seen me at 109 in Shizuoka one time (that was so random) lol. Then he left and I was just talking with the girls and they were proudly showing me their new ear piercings (they are not allowed to even HAVE pierced ears in JHS, never mind earrings!!) and asking me when I’d gotten mine and ooh-ing and aah-ing cuz I was a kid. Then I asked them if they had boyfriends and they said no and asked me if I had one and I said maybe (lol) but the point of this part of the story is that they asked me if he was a teacher and when I said no, they were like “what does he do?” so I said he worked in a bank, and they were like “but… but… HOW did you meet him if he’s not a teacher?” lol. Completely baffled by the fact that I could meet men outside of work…. and let me just say, thank god I can, because the pickings out here aren’t that great! :p


TGIF! in all sense of the expression!! My migraine is finally gone, and just in time for me to have 5 classes in a row! yay!

Urgh, could anything have killed my good mood faster than first period with 3-4?? I am SO bummed. They are officially my least fun 3rd year class. and I’m so cranky cuz Ryota is such a bad influence on Ryouga! He stole my good boy away from me!! *cries* Class was really a pain, nobody was talking, it was like teaching a class of zombies… *sigh* After I had class with 2-2 and though it was better, I was fighting really hard to stay awake through Shigeki’s part of the lesson. The Toshikis and Tetsuya were causing mischief in their corner, but I forgive them cuz they’re cute :p also they’re weren’t really being bad, haha. Nothing of consequence really happened, except that one team kept writing sentences with Akada’s name in it, so at the end, even though they didn’t win, I told him he could get a sticker cuz “he worked hard” and everyone laughed.

Now I am SO FREAKIN happy to be told that the schedule has changed and that I actually have 3rd period FREE cuz the ninensei have some kind of info session about their camping trip next week. Thank god because I am SO sleepy.

Aaww, class with 3-3 was quite fun. Tomoya was acting the brat, as usual, and his friend (damn! what’s his name?!) was calling him “stinky” again. but the funniest part was, at the end of class, he came to tell me that Tomoya was stinky and he was like “you is stinky!” so I corrected him and said “you ARE stinky” and he laughed and then he asked me if I thought he was stinky too, and since I thought he’d been the butt of the joke long enough, I said “no” and Tomoya was all happy, and said “see! not stinky!” and then I couldn’t help it and added “today” and his friend broke into laughter and started chanting “you are stinky everyday! but not today! but everyday! every day!” lol. I kinda left them to it, cuz it was lunchtime, but yeah… I’m a bad teacher :p at least they’re speaking English!!!

After lunch I had class with 1-5 and it went well, but this class has kind of a weird vibe, and no kids with really strong personalities that I’ve seen yet, so it can be a bit boring. Also, Friday, 5th period, I think Aoshima-sensei was tired cuz he snapped at the kids a bunch of times, and he’s usually this super soft-spoken dude… lol. On the way out, I saw Hideaki from 3-5 (the little one who’s always grumpy) and I waved at him and he just kinda stared at me with this deadpan look and and then as I stared back he turned to his friend and said “dare?!” (who’s this/who are you?) and I just repeated the word with a shocked voice and he kinda laughed. haha. I swear, he is so weird. chances are about 50/50 that I get a grumpy face out of him, as a super cute smile. lol.

And on that note, it’s finally the weekend. See y’all next time!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Week of May 16 to 20, 2011


Today I had my first “music” class with the 3rd years for sentaku-eigo… I did a short lesson on Justin Bieber. We listened to “baby” and so now it’s stuck in my head. I did it twice, first with 3-3, who were kinda blah about it, and kept laughing but wouldn’t tell me why, so I was a bit disappointed. Kodai kept giggling at me cuz I was signing along. lol. Most of them had no idea who JB was so I was kinda surprised. 3-6 were a little more enthusiastic, and a few of the kids (boys, no less!!) knew the song… I had two pictures of JB, one with his famous hair cut, and one when he cut it short, and Rina was like “he is much cooler which short hair!” lol. Well there you go… no wonder he’s not that famous here, I guess. lol.

Oh, and apparently, I DO stink, cuz Taihei (Mr. Soccer hair) made a comment about my perfume T_T and I was like “is it good, or bad?” pointing my thumb up, and then down, and he followed suit by pointing his thumb down. I went “hey!” and he said “not bad! not bad! but it’s too sweet!” (in Japanese). Well, maybe he just doesn’t like it, but I guess I won’t be wearing perfume to school anymore… *cries* the kiddies used to love my perfume before… what happened?!


Today is test day! So that means no classes, except that I do :/ Somehow, we still have class fourth period so I have to do my Justin Bieber lesson with 3-2. I don’t mind so much because it kinda breaks the monotony, but I feel it’s just sooo lame for the kids to be having tests all morning and then “oh! look! You still get to have class after!” but this is Japan, after all…

Aaah, さすが3-2… they seemed to enjoy this lesson way more than the two previous classes. Even when I walked into the class, Dan and Kota came up to me going “Justin Bieber! Justin Bieber! Nihon ni kuru yo” (he’s coming to Japan). I was surprised that they even knew that, since my two previous classes had been completely clueless, AND they’re boys… lol. The whole class was super fun. Dan, Kota and Imari spent the WHOLE class vying for my attention, which was hilarious… and could also have something to do with the fact that I was wearing a shirt that made my boobs look huge… lol. but anyhow. At the end of the lesson, there was about 15 minutes left and since Mizushima sensei didn’t have anything for them, I just played other English songs from my iPod and we chilled. It was fun! I also realized that Dan shaves his eyebrows, and that he actually has a really really tiny face! I never realized, what with his giant hair and all… he’s actually pretty scrawny! lol.


Today is test day again, and I may or may not have a class 4th period. I “think” I don’t, because on the monthly schedule there is a funny kanji instead of a “4”, but then, last time that happened Yuka asked me to come to class anyways. So we’ll see. I really don’t know what I’ll do if she does because I have no “easy games” left to do with the first years… hurry up and start actually learning English! urgh… well anyways…

So I guess I didn’t have class after all! I ran into Yuka earlier in the photocopy room and she was like “do you have any classes today?” and I said no and she said “aww… that’s boring!”, so I guess it means we don’t have class together :p anyhow, I’m quite glad to have this day to myself… I’ve spent the whole morning cutting and laminating cards for a game for the 1st years tomorrow, so it’s good I don’t have class!!

AWWWW!!!! Ayaka, my fangirl who graduated last year, just stopped by with another ex 3rd year to visit and chat to some teachers! It’s kinda funny cuz I also saw her on her bike on her way to school this morning. Anyways, we chatted, but, that’s not what is squeal-worthy… she brought me a present!! too cute!! all wrapped up in a Hello Kitty bag, were a tiny pair of earrings… it’s a little bit wtf, but it warms my heart. I mean, I’ve never had students come back and give me presents before. It made me so happy. ^_^


On my way to class this morning, Minami and co. accosted me in the corridor. She made a comment about how cute I was (as always) and then commented on my clothes “ne, sugoi jaaa… Vanessa wears something different every day.” I guess other teachers have a wardrobe of 5 different shirts (or 2 different track suits…) which they rotate every other day? It just made me laugh so much that she was amazed that I had many clothes in my wardrobe. lol. So I told her I had “many many clothes” and not enough room in my closet, and she asked me “oh, are clothes really cheap in Canada?” lol. Not really. :p

Then I had sentaku class with 3-5, who are notoriously my most boring 3rd year class. Surprisingly though, they seemed to enjoy the lesson. I guess since the alternative is to be doing exercises in their workbook for an hour, listening to English pop songs sounds like a fair trade. I was pretty much teaching to these 4 kids at the front though. Kiyo and Ryohei (I can never remember his name, he’s one of the soccer playboys) and Moeka and Miyuu. This one other kid at the back had this little Gantz ball, which he kept throwing around, and “losing”… it was so annoying, but he’s so cute, I can’t hate on him :p

After a short break I had class with 2-4. I had forgotten, until yesterday, that I had this 2nd year class and so I hadn’t prepared anything. So this morning, I prepared a kinda half-assed game, that didn’t require anything except the board and blank paper. The students would be in their lunch groups, and I would give them one word at random, and they had one minute to come up with a grammatically correct sentence – bonus points if it was funny. Well, I didn’t really expected it to be all that, but everyone LOVED it, even my JTE, this senile old man, was super excited the whole time. On top of everything, most of the sentences were perfect (no mistakes) and quite a few of them were hilarious. Here’s a few I can remember:

I played soccer with a tiger and a cow.
I was busy in the sento. (this one made me die laughing)
I didn’t go to the toilet.
I talked to my natto at breakfast this morning…

This one group, with the smartest kid in class, kept coming up with super extra long sentences that were really good, but there would always be one tiny mistake in them, so they couldn’t get any points, which made me sad. Also, Masaya spent the WHOLE class harassing me, telling me I was #2 crazy, and calling me “aho” (fool) and “koitsu” (that girl… it’s kind of a rude way to talk about a person…)… if it had been anyone other than me, he would’ve been severely reprimanded for talking to a teacher like that, and all his friends made shocked faces every time he did, but I just laughed. I know he means it as a joke, and I can’t really blame him since I am forever going on and on about what a “crazy boy” he is. Also, I told him he was “my favorite crazy boy”, and he went to one of the girls next to him “Ha! Did you hear that?! FAVOURITE!” and it was just so hilarious, especially since I didn’t know it was a word he understood. He also asked me who, between him and his brother (who was one of my former students) was the craziest, and I said it was definitely him.

After that, it was sentaku with 3-4, and it was kinda meh. It was okay, but man, the vibe of that class is so weird… on the one side, there is Ryouga & co. who are super cheerful and have a tendency to get really into my lessons, and on the other side there is Bad Ryota and Shiomi-kun, the former who doesn’t understand anything (and thus doesn’t do anything) and the latter who is incredibly bright, but the laziest, most bored-looking kid I have ever seen… and they just kinda suck the energy out of the class and people just kinda don’t dare to volunteer any answers. Anyways, true to himself, Ryota didn’t do anything for most of the class, but then when I put the song on, I was surprised to see him following the lyrics attentively on his paper! He liked it! also, at the end of class, there was only about 10 minutes left so Mizushima-sensei told them to work in their book, both mostly it was just “free time”. Ryouga dragged his chair over with the two misfits (they’re friends!?!?) and 5 seconds later came to ask me if they could see my ipod. I handed it to them and they started examining it, all huddled in a corner. Eventually, they found one song that they knew, that was in Japanese (a BIG BANG song) and they started listening to it. I saw Ryota sit back, one earphone in his ear, going “this is the life! Can you believe we’re doing this IN CLASS” (in Japanese) and it just cracked me up. It also made me think about the possibility that he’s probably not as badly behaved a student as I make him out to be, in other classes. Maybe he just really, really can’t understand English.

Aaww… a bunch of the old 3rd year girls are here again! Different ones from yesterday, but still… I wonder why they’re all feeling nostalgic all of a sudden? They all attacked me going “Vanessaaaaaaaaa!!” when they saw me, and then we chatted, mostly about their new school uniforms (since they’re all going to different schools)… they’re also having tests right now, and one of them showed me the “practice test” they had for English and said “it was really hard!” well, no shit Sherlock! I had a look at it and it was a one and a half page of tiny text, all in English! The most they ever read of anything last year was like 6 lines long, and they almost never read any original texts… the gap between what they’re learning here and the level they’re expected to know in high school is HUGE!! and it makes me feel once again like the JHS English curriculum SO needs to be turned upside its head… but then again, who’s gonna listen to just a silly ALT, eh? :/


Today was the day we took the staff group picture in front of the school, which will appear in the little school booklet, and the 3rd years’ graduation album. For a mercy, I was actually TOLD which day it was gonna be on. (For the past 3 years, I’ve just shown up to school and crashed the photo-session… one time notoriously, wearing jeans :p) Again, I was told by Hasegawa-sensei to “wear formal clothes and suits”. I don’t know why she says it to me that way every single time… as if after 3 years, I don’t know that you guys wear formal clothes at ceremonies and stuff… and if she is saying it because she is hoping to make me wear one… I think not, lady. It’s not like I don’t care or anything, I always dress nice on ceremony days, I just refuse to wear a suit because I feel ridiculous in one. They’re just not me. That said, today, for the first time ever, I wore a jacket!! but… it was a snakeskin print jacket I’d bought at H&M a few weeks ago, mwahaha… wonder what she thought about that? Well anyhow… I looked hot. I probably won’t look hot in the actual picture though, because the sun was shining super bright and I was unable to keep my eyes open…. oh well…

After that I had class with the kiddies. 1-6, followed by 1-4. The vibe in 1-6 was really good and it was fun, in 1-4, it was ok, but I they are so strange! It’s also the class with Hideki, who is one of my fave newbs, and I keep mixing him up with Eitaro, from another class, because they are both super short, have a hamster face, and terrible cute, but whereas Eitaro is just usually genki, Hideki always looks like he’s kinda sulking… He is too freaking cute though. He’s like a little grumpy, life-sized teddy bear and I just wanna HUG him. lol. He got 35 (on 50) on his test and he was like “is this good?” and I answered “hmmm…. so-so… but you can do better” and he looked like he was reflecting on it, and then went “yeaaah… the vocabulary was hard!!” lol. toooooooo cute!! XD

Aww, the head teacher guy just came up to me to ask me to check a form about a former student who wanted to study abroad in the States… I don’t know why they need JHS info since she’s in high school now, but whatever, the form was fine. However, I noticed the name of the student, and it was Yume! honestly, I don’t remember her last name so I can’t be 100% sure it’s who I’m thinking of, but I’m pretty sure she was the only Yume that graduated that year, and she really liked English class. Or she really liked me. :p She was a super cheerful, tomboyish girl, and she always greeted me cheerfully and came to chat with me… In her 3rd year, at the chorus contest, she performed on Taiko drums, by herself, along to techno music. It was the coolest thing ever. And one time, on sports day, one of the moms randomly came up to me and went “Hi. You’re Vanessa? I’m Yume’s mom. Yume always talks about you at home. She loves your class so much. Thank you for always being kind to my daughter.” and I was just super touched, I couldn’t believe it. So to see that this girl now wants to go study English abroad, well, it means so much to me. In a way, it’s kind of the whole meaning of being an ALT isn’t it? Influencing your kids’ lives and showing them that there is something “other” than the Japanese way, and other than everything they’re used to. Like I said, Yume was a tomboy. She liked sports, she was genki, and she wasn’t that particularly good at English. I’m pretty sure that if I had never entered her life, she would have remained pretty ambivalent about English and would have had no desire to go learn it in some other part of the world. So it makes me kinda happy ^_^ I wish I could see her again and tell her.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Week of May 9 to 13 2011


4 back-to-back classes this morning. The Monday after a whole week off. This is kinda rough.

Oh, but wait, in the break between 2 and 3, Aoshima-sensei came to tell me that could I please not come to his 4th period class. Sweet! oh, but wait, 5 seconds after he left, the new “head teacher” came over to tell me that they’d made changes to my schedule (again) and that I didn’t even have that class anymore now. Ooookay…. he kept trying to talk to me, in pidgin English, to explain the changes and it was really confusing. In the end, I had to cut him off cuz I had class and bell was gonna ring. Now I am staring at my new schedule and it kinda sucks. 5 classes on Friday? yaaaay…. :/

Anyhow, nothing too entertaining happened today, except that Masaya (2-4) seemed to be on crack the whole time, and kept going on and on that if he was “number one crazy”, then I was number two. :p Then, in 3-1, when I showed up like 5 seconds before the bell rang, kids went like “kyou ha Vanessa?!” (we have Vanessa today?) and that one weird kid with the crush on me went “YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!” in one long, extended breath, that lasted like 30 seconds. lol.

In other news, the new hot teacher (who ALWAYS ignores me and hasn’t said two words to me since he arrived in April, so I don’t like him anymore… sorta :p) is wearing a bright orange knit vest today. It looks pretty odd considering he’s been wearing a suit every single day for the past month. lol.


Class with 1-7 was really fun. That tiny little Eitaro kid is sooo dumb and cute… we were doing “school subjects” today and he kept yelling “party!” whenever I showed the lunchtime picture. lol. All the other kiddies are pretty sweet too.

Then, 2nd period with 3-5 should’ve been ok, but when I arrived, Hasegawa sensei told me she needed the whole time to finish program 1 because she had a special demo class with them the next day. Fair enough, I asked her if she wanted me to stay and help and she said “yes please” but then all I did was read a few sentences for like 3 minutes tops, and that’s it. The rest of the time I was wandering around pretending to check on students and standing at the back of the class, trying to not fall asleep. It’s like, if you don’t need me, just ask me to not come, ok? It’s such a fucking pain. Plus there was that one soccer playboy kid who was sooo sleepy and red in the face and he kinda refused to work and stuff, and just watching him made me extra sleepy. Thank god I don’t have a class now! Coffee time!!

Aaaw, class with 3-2 was yay! Since it’s still the beginning of the year, I keep forgetting which class has which kids in it and the dynamics. 3-2 has a lot of my favorite kiddies. The only “funny” thing that happened though was at the beginning of the class. Daisuke was trying to explain something to me, and I couldn’t understand the Japanese word he was using. Then Kota walked in from behind me, pointed to Daisuke and went “he is stinky!” It’s nice to know that boys never grow out of that phase…. :/ anyways, Daisuke retorted of course, that Kota was the stinky one, and though I was tempted to egg them on both, I turned to look at Kota, who was all sweaty and gross from playing soccer at lunch time and went “yeah, actually, I think you’re kinda stinky”, and Daisuke laughed and high-fived everyone, as if he had won some big victory.

Then, 6th period with 2-6 went fine, except that Mizushima-sensei threw a sudden angry fit at the kids, out of the blue, for not repeating after me quickly enough!! They totally didn’t deserve that and it was kinda scary! I guess I know why his classes are always the best now… and I knew he had tendencies to blow up at kids, but it had never happened when we were in class together, or at least not to kids who hadn’t really done anything wrong. it’s kinda funny though cuz he’s this yanki-looking teacher, and he’s from Osaka, and when he gets angry, he starts yelling at them in Osaka-ben and yanki speech, rolling his Rs and stuff. What a character… after that, you can bet the kids were shouting out everything I said in perfect unison for the rest of the class!!

Dammit! They haven’t forgotten!! >_< walking outside of 2-2 (I think?) Kazunari popped out of the class to say hello and went “I am Vanessa!” and I was like “oh no! I thought you’d have forgotten after GW!” and he looked at me with big confused eyes cuz he had no idea what I was saying, and then Manaka showed up and was like “my name is Vanessa” and I went “no.” she looked at me, surprised “no?”. “no.” lol. Then Kazunari busted the silence by going “you are very beautiful” and Manaka followed “yes, yes, very beautiful”. lol. I said thank you and walked off, and I could hear them boasting to others that they had just spoken English. lol.


Ironically, I have only one class today. I’m supposed to have 3, but 2 of those are with Aoshima-sensei and he asked me to “please not come”, because he needs to prepare for the tests next week. Fine by me. I’m busy the rest of the week so I will gladly accept this time to chill.

My only one class was with 2-1, and nothing really eventful happened, although it was pleasant. I finally memorized the name of the one tiny kid who is so adorable, his name is Wataru and he was beaming at me today as well. I really wish I could post pictures on here so you could see…

Anyhow, I also noticed that this one kid, Yuma, had his hand up every time Shigeki-sensei asked a question. I was really surprised, and kinda touched, because this is a kid who had severe issues last year. He was endearing to me for being so damn cute, but he rarely did any work, didn’t seem to have many friends, was withdrawn and would usually just doodle on his books or desk. The only thing he really liked was drawing. He was in Shigeki-sensei’s class last year as well and I remember asking him “what’s wrong with Yuma?”, and he just waved his hand at me in a dismissive gesture saying “oh, he’s just not grown-up in his head. He still acts like an elementary school kid.”  I thought that was a really lame explanation, and that it was probably more than that, but who am I but a lowly ALT to have any say in the matter? So anyhow, I was always especially nice to Yuma in class. I would help him out with readings, play games with him when he had no partner, etc. So to see him so eager in class this year, well, it just makes me so happy. Not only that, but he obviously has friends now too, because when I had them pair-up for battleship, he was one of the first kids to do so, and not the last one left behind like before. Also, after the bell rang when I left, I noticed that he and his partner were still playing! They wanted to finish their game! haha… so I went over and gave them a sticker each. Some other kid asked them why they were getting a sticker and he shrugged “wakkannai” (I dunno) and I laughed and told them I was just happy they enjoyed the game.

Then, just before 5th period, one of my JTE came to tell me to “please come watch” her demo lesson, and though I knew it was happening, I was kinda upset because, I see her teaching all the fucking time, and didn’t really need to waste my time doing it again. Moreover, the first half of class was a well rehearsed joke, with 98% of kids raising their hands to answer every single question and, come on, that never happens. The second half was better though and had a really interesting activity. I kept staring at Kazuma and Nojiri cuz the day before, Kazuma kept falling asleep on his desk, and today he was super genki. I wanted to go talk to him, but there were too many teachers so I didn’t have a chance. Nojiri noticed me staring and he stared back, so I pulled my tongue at him. He was all confused and turned to look left and right to see if this was really meant for him, and that made me laugh. I chuckled and left. eheheh…


This morning, when I showed up to school, there was a note on my desk from Yuka that said: “good morning, I won’t be in school this morning because of my job (??? I thought school was your job?) Would you give the students some activities for 50 minutes? Thank you so much.” hum… there’s like 10 minutes between the time I arrive and 1st bell. Our class was first period. normally, pulling games outta my ass isn’t such a problem, except these are first graders and so they can’t even read or say much in English, so there are very FEW games I can do with them. I managed to put something together, but I was really cranky cuz, girl, you don’t just drop a bomb on me like that last minute. I’m sure she knew about it before 7:30am this morning, so she could’ve told me before. *sigh* anyhow, class when fine, except for this tiny little bitchy girl who kept flipping her hair at me like it was sooooo めんどうくさい, and I was thinking “giiiirl, you little 11y.o. Brat, you are not gonna give me attitude!!!” and I forced her to do it. little bitch :p

After class, Hasegawa sensei asked me to help with the recording of the 3rd year listening test. On one of the questions, she had changed the name of one character from Ken to Midori, since we were both girls, but she forgot to change it in the questions. When I was reading the questions, I noticed it and changed the names automatically. Afterwards she told me “sugoi! you have a great brain!” lol. It made me laugh so much… especially since I really don’t.

Just before class, I saw the little group of ichinensei boys who like to kinda follow me around and then runaway. (lol) I could hear them talking and my name kept popping up, so I walked over and went “Vanessa, nani?” and they all started whispering together until one boy said “kirei”, and I went “awww” cuz he’s super cute, and then “Johnny” went “no, no, no! chigau! *thinkin* kawaii tte nani?” (no, that’s not it! what’s “kawaii”?) and I said “cute” and he went “so! cute! cute! very cute!” lol. and then they ran away… and were following me up the stairs again 10 seconds later. I’m in love with them <3

5th period I also had to teach by myself cuz Yuka wasn’t there, but it was kinda awkward because the sub didn’t know I was supposed to be there because they keep changing my schedule… anyhow, I figured this might happen so I was prepared. The energy of this class was better than 1-2, but they kinda bombed at doing the “introduce your friend” part of the activity. They had to say “this is (student’s name). he/she likes (food)”. The funniest part was when, at the end, this one really confused kid said “I like Ayano” instead of “this is Ayano”, and of course (because they were boy/girl pairings) the whole class burst into laughter, but the poor kid had no idea what he’d said wrong, so he kept going “what? what?” and nobody would tell him. Poor thing.

On the way out, Johnny’s posse was following me around again! Johnny came over and was like “Vanessa, pshyu! pshyu!” making gestures with his hands that I thought were spraying, like spraying perfume or something, but he said a word I didn’t understand. I asked “perfume?” and it took a while before he went “yes, yes” and so I said “yes, I wear perfume” and he crinkled his nose. I asked “does it stink?” and he went “no, no! but…” and mumbled something I didn’t understand and ran off. wtf was that about?! For the record, I don’t wear perfume all the time, but whenever I do, kids ALWAYS comment on it. Usually they always say I smell good though… :/

After that I had class with 3-6 and the boys were being really loud. Not like bad loud, just genki loud… anyways, they really got into the game, which was fun; even Masamitsu, my super-cute but super lazy little guy who is usually “too cool for school”, so that made me happy. He also showed up to school sporting the same haircut as Kazuma: shaved on one side and a bit longer but kinda “flipped” on the other? Anyways, I dunno where the heck that comes from… I told him I thought his hair was fashionable and that made him smile.


Urgh! So busy today! 4 back to back classes in the morning, so now I’m dead and I don’t remember much. I sure as hell am glad that it’s over, and that it’s Friday though!

First period was 3-4, and everyone was uncharacteristically quiet, because apparently Hasegawa-sensei had scolded them yesterday. And she did it again today, for no apparent reason. During the game, I kept picking at Ryouga, haha… he had this funny squishy toy that he used as a pawn for the board game and I said it had a crazy face like him. He seemed kinda hurt and the other kids laughed and then I went “no, no! I like Ryoga! We’re buddies!” and gave him a high five and he went “see, see? I told you she likes me” to his friend, all smug. lol.

2nd period was 2-2 and boring. Although it is the class with my little visual kei fangirl in it. Recently, I’ve been trying to get rid of all the magazines in my house (it’s an addiction… kinda like shoes) and I decided to give her all my old issues of Shoxx and Arena37, and all those other vk mags that were gathering dust at home… well, the issues that didn’t have Miyavi in it, anyways :p so I’d brought this big bag full of magazines and I gave it to her after class. Her eyes went wide and she said thank you, but it was all very moderate. That said, when I left the room I heard her and her little friend start SQUEALING as if the members of the band were actually standing in front of them. I could actually hear them jumping up and down. :p It kinda touched me that I could’ve made her day like that with what would have otherwise gone into the trash :p

Next was 3-3 and I showed up early and started chatting with Tomoya and Kaho. Then Tomoya started pointing to the kid behind him going “huullluu” and I was like “what??” It was obvious he was trying to say something in English, but I had no idea what he was trying to say, poor kid. Then he said “baka” and I thought “ha! You mean fool!!” and he shrugged and I said we didn’t really say that when we wanted to insult people in English. Then I asked Kaho to give me a little paper and I wrote a bunch of words that mean stupid on it. I gave it to him and made a “shhh” sign, telling him to not tell Hasegawa-sensei. Haha.. I’m such a bad teacher!!! eheh, but I think I have definitely won him over now :p

Last class was 2-5 and nothing really happened, except that both me and Mizushima-sensei were really tired and so had the game running for way too long. On the way out, kiddies from 2-2 ATTACKED me with a bunch of “I am Vanessa”s again, and I was like “okay okay, but I am NUMBER 1 Vanessa”, and of course one kid went “no, no, I am number 1” and I waved my fingers at him and went “uh-huh, kid. I’m number one. You’re like… number 50” and I turned around and walked away as a bunch of them laughed. HEAR! HEAR! ^_-

Monday, May 9, 2011

Week of April 25 to 30 2011

Note: sorry this is laaaaaaaaaaaate!!! I got way too busy at the end of the last day of that week to post… and then it was Golden Week, and then blogger was acting out so I couldn’t post. Not sure any of you was DYING to hear about my boring stories, but anyways, here they are :p


I ran into a bunch of the third years this morning as I was getting off the train. They’re all setting off for their school trip to Kyoto. I guess they must be taking the shinkansen. Still, this is kinda odd as it’s the first year it’s happened. (me seeing them) Oh well. I only have one class today, because the said 3rd years will be gone all week. chilllllll.

Aawww, the staffroom is really quiet now because most of the teachers are still at the morning Monday school meeting with most of the kids outside, and Ayumu and this other kid just walked in going “ohayou gozaimasu” quietly, and then he saw me looking at him, perked up and went “hello!” super loud with a big smile. *squeee*  love.

Nothing eventful really happened during class, but when I was coming back to the main building, I could hear too kiddies arguing behind me. I turned around and it was Genki and another 1st year and they were arguing about which side you were supposed to put your arms for the C in the “YMCA” song. lol. Genki went like “ne, ne, docchi?” (which one?) and they both demonstrated with their arms and I pointed to the other kid, and he looked all defeated. Awww… why on earth were they singing YMCA anyway???


OKAY!! The little kiddies from 1-7 just freaked the fuck out of me! If you don’t know, in Japanese junior high school, it’s common for 2 representatives in each class to come to the staffroom 5-10 minutes before class and ask the teachers what the plan for the class is (although they’ll usually do that the day before) and “is there anything to bring?”, or in other words “we are your pint sized servants, so if you have shit you don’t wanna carry, please give it to us”. A) I always carry my own shit, and B) I’ve been here for nearly 3 years now and kids know to just not come and ask me. They’ll ask the regular teacher, who’ll say “it’s ALT class today” or something like that and they will just go back to class and wait for me to show up. Well, just now, before 1st period, before the first bell even rang, as I was still in my cranky not-quite-awake phase…. these two little kids sneaked up upon me going “Vanessa-sensei… Japanese Japanese japanese Japanese”. They wanted to know if they could carry my shit. wtf! That never happens.

Aaah, sorry I don’t have too many exciting things to say today… only two classes (1st and 6th, wtf) and a BIG migraine in between, soo…

OMFG!!! The new teacher… I met her in the hall and she just told me that she might be pregnant and she’s freaking out!! and she can’t really tell anyone about it and so she told me! Feels kinda huge considering the fact that I’ve known her all of 3 weeks. She is sweet and cute, like 3 feet tall, and pretty nice, but still. I feel bad for her. In Japan, it’s really common for girls to have kids at her age (25) but she’s still a kid in her head you know, she’s totally not ready for it, and I can understand that. But here, abortion is not readily available. It’s not covered by your insurance and it costs something like 1500$ + to have one. It blows. Her bf knows, and she said he doesn’t know what to do either. She’s going to the hospital tomorrow to “make sure”. *sigh* makes my migraine seem kinda trivial now, doesn’t it???


Migraine is still here… don’t think I will be writing much today :(

So my first class apparently doesn’t exist anymore??? There was a schedule change to the main schedule and nobody told me about it. So it resulted in me showing up to 2-4 and having the kids go “eh? Why are you here? We have social studies now!”. Great. During break I managed to talk to Shigeki-sensei about it and check if there was another period that I could go to 2-4 in two weeks, and there isn’t. I have class every other time they have English class. It kinda sucks because a lot of cool kiddies are in that class. So it means I’ll only see them once every two weeks. meh. Not gonna complain about having 1st period off though!!!

So I just had class with 2-1 now and I had forgotten this was the class with all my mini-boys! ^_^ They put a little touch of happiness in my poor migrained brain. Ayumu was flashing me huge smiles, the cute little boy (whose name I still haven’t learned) waving me a shy hello, and this one tall kid who kept going “eigo yomenai! eigo wakkannai!” all through the class (I can’t read English. I don’t understand English!) Went “HELLO!” at me, raising his arm in an almost military salute and looking so proud. lol. At the end of the class, when kids who had won the game were coming to get their stickers, Rei tried to sneak up on me even though he had only 3 cards (he needed 5) and I had to shoo him back twice. The second time, I called out, “no sticker for you, Rei-chan! Go away!”. Now you have to understand why my calling him “Rei-chan” is hilarious. A) “chan” is a cute tag that is usually only for girls, unless you are talking to a really young boy. B) Rei (who is I find terribly inaptly name… that name belongs on slender, pretty or shy boys IMO) is a big kid for his age, all bulky and manly, and he even has the beginnings of a tiny mustache going on, which I find hilarious since most GROWN Japanese men don’t even get facial hair… so he is not the “chan” type. Anyhow, I thought my calling him “Rei-chan” would upset him, but no, he just pointed to this other kid (a mini-gyaruo type… he curls the tips of his hair…) and went “he is haru-chan!” and laughed. Well ok then, from now on, Rei-chan it is! after the bell rang I felt kinda bad, so I took one of the flyaway stickers (a purple star) and went to stick it on his face, next to his eye, going “here you go Rei-chan!” and went back to grab my stuff. Then I heard Ryo go “Rei-chan kawaii~!” laughing at him, and then stopping and going “oh, actually, it looks really cool. You should keep it like that”. lol.


I’m sorry if there’s not that much relavant stuff happening this week… a 3-day migraine will do that to you… honestly I was rather pissed off this morning cuz I thought it went away last night, but I guess not because I woke up to the sound/feel of my head pounding and my vision blurring this morning. Joy. Luckily, it wasn’t as bad as yesterday, and it finally went away after lunch. Yay for fatty kyushoku bread.

Anyways, nothing special happened in 1-2, and then class with 2-3 went super well, but I can’t remember any of it, except that before class started, some girls were asking me if that was a dress under my big giant sweater (yes), followed by if I was cold, which I thought was a really weird question considering that a) it’s a super nice day outside and b) I’m wearing a super thick wooly sweater over it. they must have meant my legs, but then, all of them are wearing shorts all year round – even in the dead of winter – so where the fuck do they get off thinking my legs would get cold?? Weird. Oh and also, at the end of the class, there was 5 minutes extra so I decided to play hangman with them, and I swear, I’ve never seen anybody get into hangman this much! lol. They were shouting out letters at the top of their lungs, getting out of their chairs, and then clapping and cheering when they figured out a word. lol. It was so cute. Oh and, the boys from that class are still going around saying “I am vanessa!” eeeh… I guess it’s not gonna die out anytime soon… maybe they’ll have forgotten it after golden week!!

(author’s note: rereading the previous entries, I realized I did NOT write about that particular event! it must have been on one of my migrainy days… well I’ll just tell you now then, shall I? so anyways, it was during one of the 10 min breaks between classes and I was walking along the 2nd year hallway, heading back to the staffroom when one of those kids (Kazunari, I think… the loud one with the big ears…) jumps in front of me and goes, “hello! my name is Vanessa!” and then instead of telling him off, laughing, or ignoring him, I just went “oh really? I’m Vanessa too! nice to meet you!” and shook his hand. it cracked him and his little posse up, and I left to the sounds of them going “I’m Vanessa too! I’m Vanessa too!”… I thought it was funny at the time…)

I just had my last class of the day now, with 1-4, and it went pretty well. Yuka had this little pointer stick that was topped with a little cat’s paw and I couldn’t stop playing with it, which the kids thought highly entertaining. There’s this one tiny little boy named Hideaki in that class who looks so spaced and lost all the time. lol. He is sooooo cute!! I spent half the class doting on him, eheh… bad teacher. Then at the end of class, the JTE made them write their names in English (bear in mind that they are just learning alphabet, so this is actually somewhat challenging… for some of them) at the back of their files along with “I love English!” and while she was explaining it, I shouted “Vanessa!!” just before she said English, and one kid actually wrote “I love Vanessa” on his file. lol. I gave him a sticker :p  shameless flattery will get you everywhere.


Yes, you read that right. Saturday. Yesterday was a public holiday, and instead of having a long weekend for my troubles, my school decided to have a PTA day right in the middle. WHAT. THE. FUCK. Seriously. And then they are not even giving us daikyuu (replacement holiday) on Friday, so we could have a long Golden Week, we’re getting it on Monday. Seriously, the guy making the schedules must be on crack. Anyhow, I’m not too cranky (for once) about being at school on a Saturday, because A) my migraine is GONE! and B) I am fucking off to Tokyo tomorrow morning! wohoo! and I am so excited about it, nothing can dull my joy, really. Oh, what’s a PTA day, you ask? Well, it usually happens about twice a year, it’s when we have school on a Saturday so that parents can come in and watch the lessons. Whatever, they should just have it on a weekday cuz it’s usually only moms who come anyways.

Anyhow, I have only one class today, with Yuka. It’s actually the demo class on 5th period where all the parents will come. It was supposed to be 1st period, but since she is chicken about teaching in front of the parents, she asked me to switch so I could teach it with her :p

Btw, this morning I saw Hayato at my train station (old 3rd year boy) and since I don’t really wanna talk in the morning, and I am wearing sunglasses and headphones, I just stuck my tongue at him. lol. At least I got a smile out of him. And his friend (who doesn’t know me) thought it was hilarious. eheh. Btw, tongue-pulling isn’t really common in Japan. Sometimes when you do it, you really don’t get the reactions you should. haha.

I ended up not being able to post this on Saturday because, even though I had only one class, Hasegawa-sensei asked me to do something for our lesson after GW and it ended up taking me all day and I was really busy!!!!

The lesson with Yuka went okay. It definitely wasn’t great. I even tried to involve the parents, but they didn’t get into it at all. And I was thinking “this is super super super basic level English here, there is no way you can’t understand what I’m saying and your 11 years olds do. Get off your fucking asses and play the game with them, you dumb fucks!” It’s like, why do you even bother coming to school to watch how they are learning if you don’t give a shit? That made me kinda angry. Well, maybe it was just that particular batch of parents… last year me and Hasegawa sensei did one that got a really good reaction. Oh and also, I was surprised cuz there were a lot of dads! Maybe the dads were pissed off at having their GW vacation broken in two? hmm…

Oh and yeah, there was a stupid ceremony at the end to introduce the staff to the parents. (That never happened in the last 2 years!) and it made me kinda cranky cuz, haven’t we had enough ceremonies already? and don’t they know us yet? urgh. Well anyhow.