cute, funny, retarded, perverted, weird and generally entertaining things my students tell me on a daily basis.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Week of May 23 to 27


Yay, it’s the return of the migraine! and early on top of everything! *grumbles*

First I had class with 1-6, which was fun but pretty uneventful. It was funny cuz they all remembered that Vanessa-sensei had said “I am a visual kei fan” last class and it made them giggle as they kept repeating it to me.

Then, in 2-4, Masaya very nearly made me insane. I think I have created a monster… I very much wanted to throttle him by the end of the class. Along with his usual dickery, he made a crack at my weight, and it was probably just a joke to him, but for me it hit very near to him because I HAVE gained weight recently and I can’t seem to get back on track with my diet… *sigh* anyhow, basically, some of my stickers are “diet stickers” and I bought them accidentally one time last year (didn’t realize what they were, just thought they were cute) and the kids LOVED them, so now I buy them every once in a while. Anyways, Masaya picked one that said “rebound” and he was like “look, look, rebound, that’s you! You kinda got fat in the belly… why don’t you exercise?” and he was just trying to taunt me, but seriously, my eyes nearly popped out of my head. I mean who says that to a teacher?! The worst part is, I still kinda like him… I just wanna punch him really bad… a few times…

After that I had class with 3-1, and when I say “I had class” I mean Hasegawa-sensei had class and she deigned to leave me 10 minutes at the end. I was super cranky (and let her know with an evil look) because she had asked me to prepare an activity for 30 minutes, and the game I had needed at least 20, and there was no time, and I said so. she gave me a look that meant “well, do it anyways” so I just rushed through the instructions, and then the kids had like 5 minutes to play, which is nowhere near enough, and of course nobody finished, so nobody got a sticker and everyone got cranky. I just think it’s stupid cuz what she was doing before was just a stupid worksheet. It’s not like it couldn’t have been continued another class or as homework or anything. She could’ve stopped them any time. It just grates me.


Hello, migraine is still here. Diminished a bit, but still. Class with 1-7 was fun, and Eitaro asked me to sing again. lol. At the end of every class, he comes over and goes “ne, ne, utatte!” (sing!) because on their last class at the elementary school I sang a Lady Gaga song (because they made me, and I had promised) and now, he keeps trying to get me to sing again. lol. But I get self-conscious when asked on the spot! He is too cute though.

Then 2nd period was with 3-5, and just before class started, the soccer playboys were chilling in the hallway and one of them went (to me) “you are scary!” (in English), followed by (after my shocked reaction) “I am scared of Vanessa” (also in English) wtf?! They had obviously memorized those lines and were feeling very smug about it. I have no idea why. If there is one thing I am certainly not, it’s scary. So I told Ryohei “I don’t like you anymore!!” and left them pondering what that meant. Unlucky for him, he was also in my next class. Both him and Kazuma were, so I spent about the first 10 mins of class on their cases. After that, we played battleship, and Kazuma didn’t have a partner so I played with him. He had to ask me how to pronounce each word 5 times, but in the end, he won, and he was quite pleased with himself. I was quite pleased he actually played the game and memorized the words in the end.

In the afternoon I first had class with 3-2, who was waaaay quieter than usual, so it was a bit boring. After that I was supposed to have class with 2-6, but when Mizushima-sensei showed up to class he was like “ooooooh! sorry! I have to give their tests back today, so there’s no time for you.” now, normally, I’d be really pleased at the idea of a free period, but with this migraine standing up and teaching is actually better than sitting at my desk trying to kill time. Since I can’t really focus my attention on anything, it’s more like trying my hardest not to pass out… so I wasn’t too pleased about it.

After 6th period, I decided that I was gonna just wander around the school, because standing up walking felt better than sitting down, and so I did for a bit, and then it was “cleaning time” for a bit, so all the kids were out everywhere cleaning the school. Well, some of them were cleaning, others were beating each others with broomsticks… I stopped and chatted with a few groups of kids… 3rd year girls who asked me who was cooler between the baseball boys and the soccer boys, and then made fun of this one teacher who is kinda balding (lol), another group of really hard working girls, and then the first years got really excited when I wandered over to their building and I probably disrupted their cleaning more than anything else. On my way back, one of the really tall first graders who looks older than everybody else (I think his name is Riku… so doesn’t suit him) started shyly chatting with me in Japanese. He was like “teacher, how long have you been in Japan?” and so I answered “3 years”, and he replied “3 years… was it though?” and I kinda laughed and said “Sometimes. I couldn’t speak Japanese at all when I arrived.” and he nodded thoughtfully and told me he couldn’t speak English, and I tapped him on the shoulder and said “ganbatte!” and he nodded and ran off. lol. It was soooo random and he was so serious the whole time! It made me smile.


First order of the day was 1-1, which went well but nothing particularly extraordinary happened. I think the most note-worthy thing was Johnny staring at my tits, but like, really, REALLY obviously. He’s 12 for fuck’s sake. and so very tiny. It just makes me kinda laugh. Oh well.

Then I had class with 2-1 and they were a bit disappointing. I guess they are a lot weaker than 2-4 so they couldn’t come up with really funny sentences… the boy who has grey hair (yes, he’s 13 and has a shitload of grey hair!!) spent the whole class doodling a big giant fish on his desk. and then Rei and Ryo were dicking about, and trying to get a sticker when their team didn’t even win. Ryo managed to get one unnoticed, sneaky little bastard… oh, speaking of Ryo, he recently cut his hair like some of the 3rd year soccer playboys (shaved on the side) but he doesn’t use any gel or wax to keep it up, so it just kinda looks ridiculous. As I left the class, after the bell rang, Rei came over and asked me to give him a sticker, I said “sure. give me a kiss” and pointed to my cheek and he went “waaah!” and ran off. My kids love me.

After break I had class with 1-3, and it actually had been a good long while since I’ve seen them. We have one new kid who just transferred from Okinawa, and he’s in that class too. I wonder if he can speak English or what, but he was kinda “translating” for the kids around him when I was talking so I suspect his English ability to be high. Anyhow, while we were playing the game, another kid, who is just fucking tiny and looks like a brat was talking and going “blah blah Japanese Japanese POWER japanese Japanese…” and I walked over and I was like “what? You have a super power? What’s your super power?” and he goes “FORCE”, so I’m like “huh? like Star Wars?” and he answers “yes, STAR WARS!”. And so I pick up his eraser and put it in the center of his desk and go “ok. Make it move” and he puts on this look of utter concentration, mumbling “ugoku, ugoku…” (move move) and the he kicks under his desk, obviously making the whole thing shake, and screams “ha! It moved!!” lol. Cutest thing ever.

LOL, I just went wandering around the clubs, to kill time, cuz I’m hella bored, and as I was watching the judo club “sparring”, one of the kids, Tetsuya (Tatsuya – one of my old pervs – ‘s brother… notice the parents’ originality with the names here…) noticed me and, as he was grappling with his opponent, shouted “hello!” waving at me with the hand that was under his opponent’s butt. Probably the most hilarious thing I have seen in a good long while. I burst into laughter, and so did everybody else.


Ok, I am really fucking sick of this migraine who keeps disappearing when I get home at night, and then coming back in the morning… maybe I am just allergic to school? *sigh*

Anyhow, I saw Yuna, Hayato and Haruya on my way to the train station this morning. They all go to different schools, but their schools are near my home so I guess they come on the same train. I think it’s cool that they are keeping their former JHS school pride and keeping together, eheh… well anyhow, usually I just see Hayato, and he just kinda smiles at me or gives me a little nod, but because Yuna was there, she gave me a huge giant wave with both arms accompanied with a giant smile and “hello!” and it made me smile so much. I miss that kid. I also wonder what the other students coming off that train think I am?? lol.

Finally, I think my migraine is gone for good, but I have had too many classes in a row to remember fuck all! in 5th period, I was teaching a class of 1st years and at one point they had to go to the nurse’s office for their health check, but instead of the whole class going at once, they made the girls go first, then the boys, so I was in class teaching only the boys. yay! and the girls took AGES literally, so we just played that one game for ages… but they got really into it and it was a cool vibe. I would do best in an all-boys school, after all *lol*

Then at the end of 6th period, I was walking down the 3rd year hallway, heading back to the staffroom and I feel some water sprinkling my neck and I turn around and see Bad Ryota and another kid (Jumpei? I forget) walking all innocently behind me. So I raise my eyebrow at him and he gives me a sheepish smile going, “oh, sorry!” ha! What is up with that kid? The other one was like “he is crazy boy” and I’m like “no, he is bad boy! Bad Ryota!!” and then they ran off. But the whole thing was all in a light and fun mood though.

That reminds me of something else that I noticed at lunchtime today… a LOT of the 3rd year boys are way nicer to me this year than they were last year… and it reminded me that it kinda happens every year when the 2nd years become 3rd years… I guess they are starting to grow through puberty and suddenly notice that “that annoying gaijin who insists on speaking to me in English all the time” also has giant boobs. And they turn into little lambs. mwahaha.

Just as was leaving the school, in spotted two high school girls talking with Ishida-sensei (the hot gym teacher) and it wasn’t until they went “ah! Vanessa da!” that I recognized Erika and Saki, two of my favorite students who graduated TWO YEARS AGO! I went over and Saki promptly told me “kawattenai!” (you haven’t changed!) and I was like “sure I have! huh… my hair’s longer!” and we chatted and it was a lot of fun. Erika told Ishida-sensei that she’d seen me at 109 in Shizuoka one time (that was so random) lol. Then he left and I was just talking with the girls and they were proudly showing me their new ear piercings (they are not allowed to even HAVE pierced ears in JHS, never mind earrings!!) and asking me when I’d gotten mine and ooh-ing and aah-ing cuz I was a kid. Then I asked them if they had boyfriends and they said no and asked me if I had one and I said maybe (lol) but the point of this part of the story is that they asked me if he was a teacher and when I said no, they were like “what does he do?” so I said he worked in a bank, and they were like “but… but… HOW did you meet him if he’s not a teacher?” lol. Completely baffled by the fact that I could meet men outside of work…. and let me just say, thank god I can, because the pickings out here aren’t that great! :p


TGIF! in all sense of the expression!! My migraine is finally gone, and just in time for me to have 5 classes in a row! yay!

Urgh, could anything have killed my good mood faster than first period with 3-4?? I am SO bummed. They are officially my least fun 3rd year class. and I’m so cranky cuz Ryota is such a bad influence on Ryouga! He stole my good boy away from me!! *cries* Class was really a pain, nobody was talking, it was like teaching a class of zombies… *sigh* After I had class with 2-2 and though it was better, I was fighting really hard to stay awake through Shigeki’s part of the lesson. The Toshikis and Tetsuya were causing mischief in their corner, but I forgive them cuz they’re cute :p also they’re weren’t really being bad, haha. Nothing of consequence really happened, except that one team kept writing sentences with Akada’s name in it, so at the end, even though they didn’t win, I told him he could get a sticker cuz “he worked hard” and everyone laughed.

Now I am SO FREAKIN happy to be told that the schedule has changed and that I actually have 3rd period FREE cuz the ninensei have some kind of info session about their camping trip next week. Thank god because I am SO sleepy.

Aaww, class with 3-3 was quite fun. Tomoya was acting the brat, as usual, and his friend (damn! what’s his name?!) was calling him “stinky” again. but the funniest part was, at the end of class, he came to tell me that Tomoya was stinky and he was like “you is stinky!” so I corrected him and said “you ARE stinky” and he laughed and then he asked me if I thought he was stinky too, and since I thought he’d been the butt of the joke long enough, I said “no” and Tomoya was all happy, and said “see! not stinky!” and then I couldn’t help it and added “today” and his friend broke into laughter and started chanting “you are stinky everyday! but not today! but everyday! every day!” lol. I kinda left them to it, cuz it was lunchtime, but yeah… I’m a bad teacher :p at least they’re speaking English!!!

After lunch I had class with 1-5 and it went well, but this class has kind of a weird vibe, and no kids with really strong personalities that I’ve seen yet, so it can be a bit boring. Also, Friday, 5th period, I think Aoshima-sensei was tired cuz he snapped at the kids a bunch of times, and he’s usually this super soft-spoken dude… lol. On the way out, I saw Hideaki from 3-5 (the little one who’s always grumpy) and I waved at him and he just kinda stared at me with this deadpan look and and then as I stared back he turned to his friend and said “dare?!” (who’s this/who are you?) and I just repeated the word with a shocked voice and he kinda laughed. haha. I swear, he is so weird. chances are about 50/50 that I get a grumpy face out of him, as a super cute smile. lol.

And on that note, it’s finally the weekend. See y’all next time!


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  2. I just finished reading your posts (from the beginning), and I've got to say I adore this blog!

    I originally was going to university to teach English in France, but some stuff happened and I had to switch majors >~<;

    This reminds me, though, of how much I loved teaching... I definitely want to go back to it! So thank you, I guess, for re-inspiring me ^~^

    I also was wondering if you would be willing to answer some questions I had about the JET Program? I didn't see any way to contact you, and only if it wouldn't be too much trouble!