cute, funny, retarded, perverted, weird and generally entertaining things my students tell me on a daily basis.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Week of May 9 to 13 2011


4 back-to-back classes this morning. The Monday after a whole week off. This is kinda rough.

Oh, but wait, in the break between 2 and 3, Aoshima-sensei came to tell me that could I please not come to his 4th period class. Sweet! oh, but wait, 5 seconds after he left, the new “head teacher” came over to tell me that they’d made changes to my schedule (again) and that I didn’t even have that class anymore now. Ooookay…. he kept trying to talk to me, in pidgin English, to explain the changes and it was really confusing. In the end, I had to cut him off cuz I had class and bell was gonna ring. Now I am staring at my new schedule and it kinda sucks. 5 classes on Friday? yaaaay…. :/

Anyhow, nothing too entertaining happened today, except that Masaya (2-4) seemed to be on crack the whole time, and kept going on and on that if he was “number one crazy”, then I was number two. :p Then, in 3-1, when I showed up like 5 seconds before the bell rang, kids went like “kyou ha Vanessa?!” (we have Vanessa today?) and that one weird kid with the crush on me went “YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!” in one long, extended breath, that lasted like 30 seconds. lol.

In other news, the new hot teacher (who ALWAYS ignores me and hasn’t said two words to me since he arrived in April, so I don’t like him anymore… sorta :p) is wearing a bright orange knit vest today. It looks pretty odd considering he’s been wearing a suit every single day for the past month. lol.


Class with 1-7 was really fun. That tiny little Eitaro kid is sooo dumb and cute… we were doing “school subjects” today and he kept yelling “party!” whenever I showed the lunchtime picture. lol. All the other kiddies are pretty sweet too.

Then, 2nd period with 3-5 should’ve been ok, but when I arrived, Hasegawa sensei told me she needed the whole time to finish program 1 because she had a special demo class with them the next day. Fair enough, I asked her if she wanted me to stay and help and she said “yes please” but then all I did was read a few sentences for like 3 minutes tops, and that’s it. The rest of the time I was wandering around pretending to check on students and standing at the back of the class, trying to not fall asleep. It’s like, if you don’t need me, just ask me to not come, ok? It’s such a fucking pain. Plus there was that one soccer playboy kid who was sooo sleepy and red in the face and he kinda refused to work and stuff, and just watching him made me extra sleepy. Thank god I don’t have a class now! Coffee time!!

Aaaw, class with 3-2 was yay! Since it’s still the beginning of the year, I keep forgetting which class has which kids in it and the dynamics. 3-2 has a lot of my favorite kiddies. The only “funny” thing that happened though was at the beginning of the class. Daisuke was trying to explain something to me, and I couldn’t understand the Japanese word he was using. Then Kota walked in from behind me, pointed to Daisuke and went “he is stinky!” It’s nice to know that boys never grow out of that phase…. :/ anyways, Daisuke retorted of course, that Kota was the stinky one, and though I was tempted to egg them on both, I turned to look at Kota, who was all sweaty and gross from playing soccer at lunch time and went “yeah, actually, I think you’re kinda stinky”, and Daisuke laughed and high-fived everyone, as if he had won some big victory.

Then, 6th period with 2-6 went fine, except that Mizushima-sensei threw a sudden angry fit at the kids, out of the blue, for not repeating after me quickly enough!! They totally didn’t deserve that and it was kinda scary! I guess I know why his classes are always the best now… and I knew he had tendencies to blow up at kids, but it had never happened when we were in class together, or at least not to kids who hadn’t really done anything wrong. it’s kinda funny though cuz he’s this yanki-looking teacher, and he’s from Osaka, and when he gets angry, he starts yelling at them in Osaka-ben and yanki speech, rolling his Rs and stuff. What a character… after that, you can bet the kids were shouting out everything I said in perfect unison for the rest of the class!!

Dammit! They haven’t forgotten!! >_< walking outside of 2-2 (I think?) Kazunari popped out of the class to say hello and went “I am Vanessa!” and I was like “oh no! I thought you’d have forgotten after GW!” and he looked at me with big confused eyes cuz he had no idea what I was saying, and then Manaka showed up and was like “my name is Vanessa” and I went “no.” she looked at me, surprised “no?”. “no.” lol. Then Kazunari busted the silence by going “you are very beautiful” and Manaka followed “yes, yes, very beautiful”. lol. I said thank you and walked off, and I could hear them boasting to others that they had just spoken English. lol.


Ironically, I have only one class today. I’m supposed to have 3, but 2 of those are with Aoshima-sensei and he asked me to “please not come”, because he needs to prepare for the tests next week. Fine by me. I’m busy the rest of the week so I will gladly accept this time to chill.

My only one class was with 2-1, and nothing really eventful happened, although it was pleasant. I finally memorized the name of the one tiny kid who is so adorable, his name is Wataru and he was beaming at me today as well. I really wish I could post pictures on here so you could see…

Anyhow, I also noticed that this one kid, Yuma, had his hand up every time Shigeki-sensei asked a question. I was really surprised, and kinda touched, because this is a kid who had severe issues last year. He was endearing to me for being so damn cute, but he rarely did any work, didn’t seem to have many friends, was withdrawn and would usually just doodle on his books or desk. The only thing he really liked was drawing. He was in Shigeki-sensei’s class last year as well and I remember asking him “what’s wrong with Yuma?”, and he just waved his hand at me in a dismissive gesture saying “oh, he’s just not grown-up in his head. He still acts like an elementary school kid.”  I thought that was a really lame explanation, and that it was probably more than that, but who am I but a lowly ALT to have any say in the matter? So anyhow, I was always especially nice to Yuma in class. I would help him out with readings, play games with him when he had no partner, etc. So to see him so eager in class this year, well, it just makes me so happy. Not only that, but he obviously has friends now too, because when I had them pair-up for battleship, he was one of the first kids to do so, and not the last one left behind like before. Also, after the bell rang when I left, I noticed that he and his partner were still playing! They wanted to finish their game! haha… so I went over and gave them a sticker each. Some other kid asked them why they were getting a sticker and he shrugged “wakkannai” (I dunno) and I laughed and told them I was just happy they enjoyed the game.

Then, just before 5th period, one of my JTE came to tell me to “please come watch” her demo lesson, and though I knew it was happening, I was kinda upset because, I see her teaching all the fucking time, and didn’t really need to waste my time doing it again. Moreover, the first half of class was a well rehearsed joke, with 98% of kids raising their hands to answer every single question and, come on, that never happens. The second half was better though and had a really interesting activity. I kept staring at Kazuma and Nojiri cuz the day before, Kazuma kept falling asleep on his desk, and today he was super genki. I wanted to go talk to him, but there were too many teachers so I didn’t have a chance. Nojiri noticed me staring and he stared back, so I pulled my tongue at him. He was all confused and turned to look left and right to see if this was really meant for him, and that made me laugh. I chuckled and left. eheheh…


This morning, when I showed up to school, there was a note on my desk from Yuka that said: “good morning, I won’t be in school this morning because of my job (??? I thought school was your job?) Would you give the students some activities for 50 minutes? Thank you so much.” hum… there’s like 10 minutes between the time I arrive and 1st bell. Our class was first period. normally, pulling games outta my ass isn’t such a problem, except these are first graders and so they can’t even read or say much in English, so there are very FEW games I can do with them. I managed to put something together, but I was really cranky cuz, girl, you don’t just drop a bomb on me like that last minute. I’m sure she knew about it before 7:30am this morning, so she could’ve told me before. *sigh* anyhow, class when fine, except for this tiny little bitchy girl who kept flipping her hair at me like it was sooooo めんどうくさい, and I was thinking “giiiirl, you little 11y.o. Brat, you are not gonna give me attitude!!!” and I forced her to do it. little bitch :p

After class, Hasegawa sensei asked me to help with the recording of the 3rd year listening test. On one of the questions, she had changed the name of one character from Ken to Midori, since we were both girls, but she forgot to change it in the questions. When I was reading the questions, I noticed it and changed the names automatically. Afterwards she told me “sugoi! you have a great brain!” lol. It made me laugh so much… especially since I really don’t.

Just before class, I saw the little group of ichinensei boys who like to kinda follow me around and then runaway. (lol) I could hear them talking and my name kept popping up, so I walked over and went “Vanessa, nani?” and they all started whispering together until one boy said “kirei”, and I went “awww” cuz he’s super cute, and then “Johnny” went “no, no, no! chigau! *thinkin* kawaii tte nani?” (no, that’s not it! what’s “kawaii”?) and I said “cute” and he went “so! cute! cute! very cute!” lol. and then they ran away… and were following me up the stairs again 10 seconds later. I’m in love with them <3

5th period I also had to teach by myself cuz Yuka wasn’t there, but it was kinda awkward because the sub didn’t know I was supposed to be there because they keep changing my schedule… anyhow, I figured this might happen so I was prepared. The energy of this class was better than 1-2, but they kinda bombed at doing the “introduce your friend” part of the activity. They had to say “this is (student’s name). he/she likes (food)”. The funniest part was when, at the end, this one really confused kid said “I like Ayano” instead of “this is Ayano”, and of course (because they were boy/girl pairings) the whole class burst into laughter, but the poor kid had no idea what he’d said wrong, so he kept going “what? what?” and nobody would tell him. Poor thing.

On the way out, Johnny’s posse was following me around again! Johnny came over and was like “Vanessa, pshyu! pshyu!” making gestures with his hands that I thought were spraying, like spraying perfume or something, but he said a word I didn’t understand. I asked “perfume?” and it took a while before he went “yes, yes” and so I said “yes, I wear perfume” and he crinkled his nose. I asked “does it stink?” and he went “no, no! but…” and mumbled something I didn’t understand and ran off. wtf was that about?! For the record, I don’t wear perfume all the time, but whenever I do, kids ALWAYS comment on it. Usually they always say I smell good though… :/

After that I had class with 3-6 and the boys were being really loud. Not like bad loud, just genki loud… anyways, they really got into the game, which was fun; even Masamitsu, my super-cute but super lazy little guy who is usually “too cool for school”, so that made me happy. He also showed up to school sporting the same haircut as Kazuma: shaved on one side and a bit longer but kinda “flipped” on the other? Anyways, I dunno where the heck that comes from… I told him I thought his hair was fashionable and that made him smile.


Urgh! So busy today! 4 back to back classes in the morning, so now I’m dead and I don’t remember much. I sure as hell am glad that it’s over, and that it’s Friday though!

First period was 3-4, and everyone was uncharacteristically quiet, because apparently Hasegawa-sensei had scolded them yesterday. And she did it again today, for no apparent reason. During the game, I kept picking at Ryouga, haha… he had this funny squishy toy that he used as a pawn for the board game and I said it had a crazy face like him. He seemed kinda hurt and the other kids laughed and then I went “no, no! I like Ryoga! We’re buddies!” and gave him a high five and he went “see, see? I told you she likes me” to his friend, all smug. lol.

2nd period was 2-2 and boring. Although it is the class with my little visual kei fangirl in it. Recently, I’ve been trying to get rid of all the magazines in my house (it’s an addiction… kinda like shoes) and I decided to give her all my old issues of Shoxx and Arena37, and all those other vk mags that were gathering dust at home… well, the issues that didn’t have Miyavi in it, anyways :p so I’d brought this big bag full of magazines and I gave it to her after class. Her eyes went wide and she said thank you, but it was all very moderate. That said, when I left the room I heard her and her little friend start SQUEALING as if the members of the band were actually standing in front of them. I could actually hear them jumping up and down. :p It kinda touched me that I could’ve made her day like that with what would have otherwise gone into the trash :p

Next was 3-3 and I showed up early and started chatting with Tomoya and Kaho. Then Tomoya started pointing to the kid behind him going “huullluu” and I was like “what??” It was obvious he was trying to say something in English, but I had no idea what he was trying to say, poor kid. Then he said “baka” and I thought “ha! You mean fool!!” and he shrugged and I said we didn’t really say that when we wanted to insult people in English. Then I asked Kaho to give me a little paper and I wrote a bunch of words that mean stupid on it. I gave it to him and made a “shhh” sign, telling him to not tell Hasegawa-sensei. Haha.. I’m such a bad teacher!!! eheh, but I think I have definitely won him over now :p

Last class was 2-5 and nothing really happened, except that both me and Mizushima-sensei were really tired and so had the game running for way too long. On the way out, kiddies from 2-2 ATTACKED me with a bunch of “I am Vanessa”s again, and I was like “okay okay, but I am NUMBER 1 Vanessa”, and of course one kid went “no, no, I am number 1” and I waved my fingers at him and went “uh-huh, kid. I’m number one. You’re like… number 50” and I turned around and walked away as a bunch of them laughed. HEAR! HEAR! ^_-

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