cute, funny, retarded, perverted, weird and generally entertaining things my students tell me on a daily basis.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Weekly Digest : february 21 - 25

Showed up to school this morning and there was a folded paper on my desk. I wondered what it was cuz there was some stuff in Japanese on it, and I thought it might be some trash paper or a letter from another teacher, but when I opened it, I saw it was a letter from Haruya! Haruya is a nerdy boy in 3-2 who is somehow really cool with the other kids as well (this happens a lot in Japan…). He’s pretty smart, so he does well at English too. Last time, when we were doing passport-writing, he said that he’d lost his and I scolded him and said he had to write me a LONG letter in English on a big paper. I didn’t actually expect him to do it! The letter is super cute too!
“Dear Ms. Vanessa,
I met you when I was 1st grade.
Do you remember? And I can’t remember that time.
But I thought your hair was beautiful then.
I want hair of gold color. But I think it doesn’t suit for me.
We’re going to graduate this school.
I enjoyed school life for three years.
And we enjoyed playing games with you too.
Thank you.” 
Haha. So cute!
Passports. This one shy kid, who never talks at all, Naoya, asked me if I liked Miyavi in his passport last time. I said yes of course, I love him, do you? and he answered that he was his favorite artist!!! Wtf?! Kid, where have you been hiding all this time?! and now you’re graduating in 3 weeks! Sadness…
Aww, more goodbye messages! I’m gonna cry! Yuka’s passport from 3-4…
“Thank you very much for 2 years! Your class was very fun for me. And you are always cute! <3 I love Vanessa forever…”
Those crazy boys from 3-2 keep telling each other their heads look like vegetables and whatnot… here’s Hayato’s passport entry from last time “I look like a carrot. Am I crazy?” lol. and so I asked him what vegetable he thought I looked like and he said “you look like a radish!! What vegetable do you think Haruya looks like?” lol. I’m teaching important stuff here….. 
Aww… this kid who never ever talks to me wrote in his passport “please don’t forget me. I like Vanessa, so I don’t forget you too. Thank you. Ryo.” Kawaiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!! Doesn’t hurt that he is like 3 feet tall and super cute. Makes me wanna squish him into a big hug!
Lunch with 2-2 today. Kids squealing “kawaii” at me way more than usual today. I am dressed super plain, but I’m wearing my glasses for the first time in months. I guess that’s kawaii??  I was eating at Imari’s table… if you will remember, he was the kid who shouted “DIET!” at me when I asked them what they thought my hobby was. lol. Well today, one of the girls didn’t like the shiitake mushrooms in her soup and she was giving them to her friend, who told her that shiitake were good for dieting. Just then Imari goes (in Japanese) “you should give them to Vanessa. Give her a looooot!”. lol. does he have a fixation on me being on a diet or what?! I gave him an angry glare and he just smiled his silly smile at me. Can’t be mad at him :p

Back at passports… doing 3-6 now. Here’s an excerpt from Junya’s passport “which do you like better, meat or Kouki”? lol! I almost laughed out loud. Kouki is my #1 perv who has a boob fetish… he probably put him up to this cuz Junya’s a good kid :p  and true to his pervy self, Kouki asked “which do you like, wiener or sausage?” dumb brat. Oooh, and here’s one more. Kazuki wrote “do you have a boyfriend? If you have a boyfriend, Kouki is very sad”. Hahaha.

2-3 passports, we just studied comparatives… Yukina’s entry: “Vanessa is cuter than any other!” cuuuuute!!
No classes today so it was super boring. Had lunch with 2-3 but they sat me with the quiet kids… Mizuki kept looking up to smile at me, but she didn’t say much. Meh.

Aww, chalk-boy came by to get some chalk today and he was acting especially dumb. Haha. He said he wanted 5 brown chalks. And I said “5?! Are you gonna eat them?!” and Naoki said “yes, so delicious”. lol.

After school, as I was leaving, I saw Masaya and his chubby friend leaving the school building a little ahead of me. Masaya is this super cute genki brat from 1-4, who also happens to be the brother of one of my favorite brats in 3-5. I already liked him before, but I think I started liking him even more when I found out he was Shoma’s brother. Haha. Anyways, I always “pick” on Masaya in class, because I love him to bits. He’s also one of the few first year students whose name I remember (cuz I suck and the little ones all look the same). Anyways, they were leaving and his friend turned to wave at me while Masaya just gave me a stupid nod. They started walking and I could see them arguing and the other kid pulling his sleeve. I thought he was trying to make him stay and talk/walk with me cuz we were going in the same direction, but Masaya was like “no, no, no!” anyways, they kept on walking, and since I walk super SLOW, they quickly got way ahead of me. They are some of the few kids who take the same way home as me, and I’ve seen them near the station before after school 2 or 3 times. Last time, I thought it looked like they were waiting for me, but then they just said hi and left so I thought maybe not. This time, like I said, they were way ahead of me. I was walking, not really paying attention and listening to music on my ipod, and when I was almost at the streetlight, I looked up and saw that they were still waiting at the opposite corner. (this was like 10 minutes later) Their light was green, but they weren’t crossing! They were totally waiting for me! Haha, it made me giggle so much. And then, the minute I passed them they crossed the light, after having waved at me. Sooooo cute XD I think Masaya has a crush on me. He’s 12. lol.

This morning, I had to go give Saho a paper in 3-1, so I walked in there before class to give it to her. On my way out, Shinobu runs up to me and goes “Vanessa! Vanessa!” like it’s some kind of life-and-death emergency and I go “what?!” and she pauses, looks to her friend and goes. “I love you!” and she extends her arms for a hug. So I gave her a hug and said “aw, I love you too honey!” and just at that moment, another English teacher was passing behind us in the corridor and she went “awww…” lol.

Today was the last time I saw both 3-2 and 3-4, because the 3rd year students will stop having regular classes from march 8th. We played the “music dice game” which is like musical chairs but they pass around a big giant dice, and when the music stops whoever has it has to throw it down and answer a different question for each number. It was really fun and bittersweet. I’m gonna miss those brats. In 3-2, boys were crazy as usual and kept trying to re-throw the dice so they could get a 6, which would get them a “challenge” card. They also kept laughing cuz they thought I was saying “daisuki game” instead of “dice music game”. I’d brought an MCR cd and a Miyavi cd to play during the game. All classes chose to listen to “American rock”, except for 3-4, who wanted to listen to Miyavi, I guess because I’m always going on and on about how I love him. lol. Well at the end of the class, Ai-chan and co. came over to look at the cd, telling me “ちょういい声、その人!” (basically, “this guy has a nice voice!” and then they see the pictures inside the box and start squealing “kakkoii! Kakkoii!” lol. I told her she could borrow the cd if she absolutely returned it by next week and she jumped up and down for joy. I laughed my evil laughter for having converted another student into a Miyavi fan. Mwahahahahahaaaa!!!!

Final passports from 3-2 
Ayana: “I became like English! Because you taught us. Thank you!”
Awww, bless you sweetheart! Although apparently I didn’t teach you English all that well! lol.

“I have no boyfriend too. (T_T)
I will be a high school student in spring <3
Then I want very cool boyfriend (^ O -)
Today, Vanessa class last øøøøøøøøø
Very very very very very very very very very very excited and enjoy!”
I love Nami! She is so genki and hyper all the time! and it’s nice to know that I’m teaching her about the important things in life… lol.
“Vanessa, Thenk you!! I love you!! signed: by chibikko”
This made me squeal soooo much! Because I always call that kid “chibikko” cuz she is like 3 feet tall and has a super cute little face. She HATES when I call her short though, and she didn’t take very fondly to the nickname (though I know she secretly loved it, because honestly, getting a nickname from Vanessa-sensei is COOL. lol) so for her to have signed off like that is just so meaningful to me. ^_^

Aaah, today is one of the lucky days when I go to elementary school…. (barf) those who know me know that I LOATHE IT WITH A FIREY PASSION!!! But every once in a while, entertaining things do happen. Like today in a grade 6 class, we were just starting a new unit about jobs, and so we were showing pictures of various jobs and the kids had to guess the English names if they knew them, and there was the picture of a dude in a cabbage patch at one point, and the word for that is “farmer” of course, but it’s really not a word that Japanese people come across much, so they don’t usually know it. That said, it doesn’t stop them from trying to guess. So here they are, racking their little brains when one kid shouts “vegetable player!!!” (in the line of “soccer player”, “baseball player”, etc…) I could’ve cried it was so damn cute and funny at the same time. lol

I was coming down the stairs after school today and one of the ninesei girls suddenly asked me “ね~Vanessa何歳?” (how old are you?) I said it was a secret and she went “eeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!!!” and then, “I think Vanessa’s about 23”. I shrugged and she added, “二十四かな~” and I just repeated “kanaaaa~” and she laughed. Usually it’s the boys asking me how old I am and not quitting. She was like “Why? Why is it a secret?” and I said “because I am forever young!” and she laughed and left on chanting “Young! Young! Young!” in English, haha.

After school, Emiko and Sayuri (from 3-6) came hunting for Domoto-sensei (as they often do, I’m not sure why…) but he wasn’t there so they stopped to chat with me. I was studying vocabulary and Sayuri peaked over my head and went “sugoi! Vanessa nihongo kakeru!” (wow, Vanessa can write Japanese!) and then they asked me to write their names in hiragana and they were all clapping when I did (hiragana is NOT hard…) and then suddenly Emiko saw my new phone and she started squealing at it cuz it’s apparently the one that she wants. She also super randomly asked me if it was true that I liked Big Bang, to which I agreed and I showed her all the Big Bang songs on my iPod, which brought a few more rounds of “sugoi!”s. lol. Then we started talking about how we’d both gotten BB shirts from UNIQLO and she was like “I got the pink one” and I was like “I got the white one” and she goes “oh! Oh! With the pink logo!” and I’m like “yes!” and Sayuri is rolling her eyes at us. Then she says to me (in English!) “I want to marry G-dragon”. lol. and I say “me too honey!” haha. And I ask her if he can speak Japanese and she says “only a little” and I laugh. But then she adds, in Japanese “It’s okay, our hearts can reach each other because of love!” which I totally didn’t understand, so she rephrased that using gestures, which was hilarious. I went “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh…. *pause* ganbatte”. And they both laughed.

On the way to the station after school, I ran into two of the 2nd year girls (whose names I’m sorry to say, I can’t remember… T_T bad teacher!!) and they stayed to walk and chat with me the whole way, which was really fun cuz they were quite chatty and not shy at all ^_^ they wanted to know what I was listening to, and each popped an headphone in and listened. It was a Korean song from the Korean drama “you’re beautiful”. I tried to explain to them about that drama in half-English, half-Japanese, but they didn’t know it. Then one of them asked me what kind of boys I liked and I was like “the cute kind”. And she goes “oh, like Nino?” (Arashi) and I make a face and go “well…. A little, but I don’t like Arashi”. They laugh. “Then what celebrity do you like?” she goes on. I think a bit and answer “I like Oguri Shun!” and she goes “ooooh…. But he’s more macho than cute…” lol! Macho! Hahaha… then she asks me “how about ninensei boys?”
Now, if you haven’t worked in a Japanese school ever before, you might find it highly disturbing that no one thinks anything of asking me to choose a 14y.o. boy as my “type”, but it’s happened before and it’s happened in the opposites to guys I know… sometimes it’s the teachers doing the asking, which is WAY more disturbing… but anyways, let’s just say I am answering this question by projecting these boys’ looks 10 years into the future. lol.
So anyways, I think a bit, and it’s kinda hard for me to answer cuz I don’t know the 2nd years’ names very well, and finally I answer Ryota. Ryota is a super cute boy in 2-3, who always has a grin/smirk on his face and he is so cheerful. I call him “charisma boy” lol. When he did his Show&Tell, he put on a radio announcer voice and went “HEY EVERYONE! MY NAME IS RYOTA!” doing funny gestures… btw, in Japan, S&T usually means students reading quietly and nervously off their papers. So it was a HUGE deal for him to act out like that. Anyways both girls SCREAM “eeeeeeeeehhh?!?!?!!!” and that’s when I remembered that there is another very memorable Ryota in 2nd year, in 2-6. He’s this super-loud “thug” brat who can’t understand a word of English and always looks as if he’s ready to punch someone. He’s not actually a bully (as far as I know…) but he’s totally destined to become a yanki. lol. So that’s why the girls were giving me bewildered stares.
Anyways, I explained myself and they thought it was pretty funny. So after that I asked them if they liked anyone, and the first one said no and the 2nd one said yes, she liked Dan. Now Dan I can remember cuz, well, wouldn’t you remember if you had a Japanese kid named Dan? It’s kinda funny. Also, in the recent months, Dan morphed into a mini future gyaruo. lol. His hair just tripled in volume overnight and he is BLACK!! lol. He’s super-tanned. It really makes me laugh. He’s a really good kid though. Always tries hard in English class. So I told her I was giving her my blessing, haha. And then it was time to board the train. :p

WHY do they not tell me when they change the freakin’ morning meetings??? On Wednesday I arrived early for nothing, and then this morning, I crashed the weekly morning meeting. Now usually, at those meetings, the cute hospital teacher sits on a chair behind me cuz he has no desk in the staffroom, and he never fails to make funny comments to me. I think he has a crush on me or something :p anyways, this morning he couldn’t do that cuz I was late, but afterwards, as he left to go to the hospital, he saw me typing and bent over to tell me “isn’t it hard to type with those long nails? Are you okay?” lol. I said all was well. Not a student thing, but every interaction with this teacher cracks me up. He acts like a shy high school boy. haha.

Today at lunchtime, a bunch of girls told me I looked “kakkoii”. This has never happened before. I could show up in goth makeup and I would get “kawaii”, so it’s very odd. I guess wearing jeans is “kakkoii”.

Checking last passport entries from 3-5…
Yuka: “yes I do (play soccer). I’ll love you forever. I love Vanessa. How about you?”
Awww… cute? But what is “how about you” ? Do I love you? or do I love myself? lol.
Arisa: “thank you! very interesting. And enjoy! Vanessa is cute”.
This is odd because it comes from a serious, withdrawn girl who always gives me really weird looks when I smile at her… I guess you really do affect everyone!!
Yurina:” I’m happy because my test was good. I’m sad because at last Vanessa class is on last”. I dunno if she tried to make it witty on purpose (probably not) but I thought it was really funny!!
Shohei: (last time he asked me what I thought of our JTE and I said I thought she was the best English teacher in this school. His reply was) “I think she is the second teacher in this school because I think you are the best English teacher! Thank you!!”
AWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! *squee* I just want to squeeze him in a bear hug for saying that!!
And look how awesome I am at teaching English! This is an excerpt from Masanari’s passport: “Today, test return. But, I sad it. So, I want to run. I fun your English!!! Bye”
I’ve been around bad English for so long that this makes total sense to me. How about you?
Takuto: “Vanessa, Thank you! your game make us happy. I want to your happy!”Hmm… what do you think that last part means??? 

I had to stay a bit longer after school today. Some of the kids want to enter a high school that has a special English program and they have to do an interview in English, so I had to help them for that. While doing the practice questions, I asked one of the girls, Saho, “if you could study abroad anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?” and she answered “I want to go to Canada, because of my ALT”. She said that last week too and it just shocked me so much. She’s kinda like a “cool beauty” you know? A bit stand-offish, and she’s in 3-1 and friends what that bloody Takuya and some of the other kids who are a bit indifferent to me, so I thought that she didn’t like me much, so I was really surprised when she said that! I can’t remember if I mentioned it last week, so I’m saying it now!
And on that note, I’m OFF!! It’s the weekend ;p

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Student file : my pervs

There is a group of 3rd year boys that I constantly refer to as “my pervs”. You may have noticed me saying things like “he’s one of my pervs” or “my pervs did so and so...” in past issues (even though there’s only been like one… but if you know me then you might remember it from facebook statuses and such). Anyways, they were a group of kids who used to all hang out together when they were in 2nd year, but this year they’ve all been split-out into different groups and made different friends, so the balance is a bit different. Some have become less pervy, too (or they just show it less)

Basically, I call them that because, ever since they were ninensei, they’ve been constantly fussing over me, and telling/asking me terribly inappropriate things. Normal people would probably have gotten upset at them, I (being the attention-whore that I am) just laugh at them and kinda encourage it, eheh. They are so entertaining anyways.

Here are the main members:

Kouki (3-6)
He’s the club leader. lol. He’s the perviest of them all and he is constantly staring at my tits. Or commenting on them. Like all the time. Like “oh, this shirt is showcasing them nicely today” (in Japanese of course, he’s pretty crap at English). One of my favorite “golden” moments in school this year, was when Miyako-sensei was talking in Japanese, explaining a grammar point and then all of a sudden, mid-sentence, she goes “Yoshimi! Stop looking only at Vanessa! I’m teaching here, look at me!!” in Japanese. and he goes “huh?” and of course the whole class bursts into laugher. Haha.

Another of his classic moments (actually, this was a collective effort since they were all in the same class) was last year when we were studying comparatives and he wrote on his paper “Vanessa’s bust is bigger than Tsunekawa-sensei’s” and I could only laugh because it was grammatically perfect (and the grammar point we were studying” and he just stood next to me chanting it over and over for like 5 minutes while the other teacher looked ready to punch him and muttered “that’s very rude”, but of course he couldn’t hear her since he can barely speak English at all. lol.

Tatsuya (3-1)
Tatsuya looks like a doll. Even now that he is into a man, he still looks soooo cute. he has freckles on his nose, a big mop of black hair, and a super cute naughty smile. Can you say wolf in sheep’s clothing?! His main catch phrase is “Vanessa, can I grope you?” which he learned how to say last year… and he often asks in Japanese as well. He’s been better behaved recently though cuz he’s got a girlfriend (super cute Ai-chan! Nooo!! Don’t do bad things to her!!), but he still got that smirky twinkle in his eye everytime I look at him. one of my funny memories of him was when he asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I said yes, and he sat there with a bewildered expression and asked me “maji?!” about 10 times in a row (with me saying yes each time in between) and then when it finally registered he went on “so do you guys have sex?” at which point I left. lol.

Kaede (3-6)
He’s in the same class as Kouki this year, so whenever I go to their class it’s like getting a double dose of perv. He’s in the baseball club, so he’s a good boy, but he’s super beefy, and there is something terribly lewd to the looks and smiles that he gives me. Recently, everytime he’s talked to me was to ask me about my weight-loss. He just can’t seem to get over it. lol. he doesn’t usually say bad things to me, but it’s all in the eyes…

Ryuya (3-2)
He isn’t really that pervy anymore, but he was in the original members’ club, so he deserves a mention. He is short and tiny and has spiky hair and he’s really really loud. He’s gonna give someone looooots of trouble in high school, methinks. He is the one who instigated my nickname “BANE!!” which has to be screamed out apparently. All the pervs call me that and shout my name like that when I enter a room. It’s hilarious.

Ryuhei (3-5)
Tiny boy with glasses and pretty bad acne. His eyes are huge though. I think that when his acne clears up, there is the hope of him turning into an attractive young man, but he’s such a pervy little dork now. He used to be my biggest fan last year, but has gotten more withdrawn this year and constantly tells me he can’t speak English and doesn’t like English. My favorite moment with him was one day last year when I approached his desk and he shouted “mabushii!!” at me while covering his eye. If you don’t get it, it was a reference to the “yamato tenshi…” I forgot the name… some drama with Kame in it in which the goth girl can’t stand looking at beautiful guys and she shouts “mabushii!!!” at them (it’s too bright!!) because they are just too good looking for her to handle. Well I thought it was funny.

Naoki (3-6)
Naoki is like 3 feet tall and looks like he could still be in elementary school. He was my favorite for a long time cuz he was just so damn adorable. I used to hate that the other pervs were “corrupting him” cuz he was so damn cute. he used to be super genki and smiling but in the last 6 months or so he’s become super serious, which makes me sad. I always wonder if something happened to him or if it’s just the stress of the entrance tests. Definitely, my favorite moment with him is, last year, just before class in the hallway, he asked me “Vanessa kiss, please”. I usually said no, but that time I said “ok, and he ran away.” Haha. After that, when class started and we did the greeting, after shouting their answers to “how are you”, and before I said “sit down”, when it was all quiet, he shouted out from the back of the class “Vanessa kiss, please!” and my automatic response was to shout back “no!” and the whole class burst out laughing. Aaah, natsukashii…

Shunpei (3-6)
Last one of the bunch. He’s actually a good boy this year and seems more mature than pretty much any of the other guys in his grade. He’s in the baseball club and has short hair and is super dark. Everytime I look it him I think “he is a future gyaruo” lol. he tried to “nampa” me one time and it was really hilarious. He had rehearsed all his lines in English before. It was just before class and he walked up to me and gave a little “sup!” chin nod, and said “you are very cute”. I laughed. They he added, all in English, “will you come to my house after school?” and I said “no!” and he just looked down and said “oh. Ok. Goodbye.” And walked off to his friends who laughed at him.

I will miss them all sooo much when they graduate. None of my other male students, in the years before or after them, have ever been so terribly inappropriate with me. Haha. They’re all good kids. Oh well ^_-

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Weekly Digest : February 14-18, 2011


Today was Valentine ’s Day! I did not get any chocolate… *sadness*

But I did do Valentine’s Day lessons all day. I always get a kick out of telling them “JAPAN IS WEIRD!!!” and that the rest of the world does it differently. I also wrote “V-Day” on the handout, and little did I know when I was making it that the kids would jump on that like CRAZY. They just loved the fact that it was a shortened form of Valentine ’s Day (like Xmas) and started scribbling it everywhere. Weird.


As you may remember, I was pretty upset that I hadn’t received any chocolates yesterday. Especially since some kids had written to me in their passport that they would give me some. Nevermind that they actually aren’t allowed to bring any to school and get scolded terribly if they are caught giving them to anybody. Well, on my way back to the staffroom after lunch with 1-6, I ran into Yoshino and she was like “Ah! Vanessa!” Yoshino is a 3rd year student whom I’ve recently started exchanging English letters with, cuz she wants to improve her English. I’m totally into it cuz it gave me an excuse to buy cute letter paper. Anyways, she was holding some books and her sweater in her hands. She goes “wait” and starts fussing with her sweater. Eventually, she comes up with a tiny box of rilakkuma chocolates and gives it to me 良かった!I could give it to you!” she says, before smiling and running off. Cuuuuuuute!!! She smuggled chocolates in her sweater for me!! ^_^  I was happy again.

Oh and I forgot, when I had lunch with the kids in 1-6, the table I was sitting with kept doing tongue-twisters in Japanese and it was pretty entertaining. Then I told them we had some in English too, but I couldn’t show them because I didn’t remember any, haha. I said I knew some French ones (French is my first language, that’s why I don’t know any English ones) and showed off a bit and they were all “ooooh!” haha. Fun times. I love it when lunch with the ichinensei goes well because they are so weak at English, they usually just don’t talk to me at all.

In class with 2-5, we were studying comparatives and the students had to write sentences using < more~> or <~er> and while I was walking around checking their answers, I noticed Shiomi-kun had written “English class is uglier than Japanese class”. And I bent down over his desk to tell him that sentence didn’t really make any sense and he was like “先生だ” (the teachers). I raised an eyebrow and gave him an “angry look” and it took a good 15 seconds for him to realize that I was a teacher so he was therefore insulting me by saying that and so he went “oh no, no, no! Vanessa’s ok. But she *he nodded his chin towards my JTE* is fugly” (in Japanese). I laughed and circled his answer as correct.

At the end of class with 2-4, I overheard Ryouga (one of my favorite brats) telling Kota “ね~でもさあ~ヴァネッサはとてもきれいだなあ~” so I walked over and was like “what? Vanessa what?” smirking at the pair, and they kinda stared at each other for a while and Kota went “he said you are beautiful”. And Ryouga kinda pulled this shy smile and rubbed the back of his hairless head. It was totally cute and soooo made my day! Haha… also, he used “kirei” instead of “kawaii”, which rarely happens, so it made me happy too.


I do “English passports” with my 2nd and 3rd year students. They are little booklets with activities in them, but mostly, they are journals, that I make the kids write at the end of each class. They have to write a comment to me, then I reply with a comment to them. Ideally, it works like a “friend diary” and it’s just a written conversation. Sadly, only a few kids get the idea, haha. That said, checking passports usually make for entertaining reading. Here are some of today’s gems.

Mayuko, 3-5 ‘s passport entry:

“This English worksheet was easy. I have read the English story. Your skin is very beautiful. I want to be like you!!”   lol. Thank you?

Miho, 3-5

“What do you like the best? I like Taimu the best! Vanessa is very very kind. Your smile makes me happy! Thank you very much!”

And you know what is the most amazing thing about this message?? There are no English mistakes in it!!! And Miho has always been really bad at English! All she can say to me all the time is “Vanessa かわいいよねええええ!” so it makes me happy! ^_^

Oh and btw, I have to butt-in here and explain a bit about Miho and Taimu’s budding romance… Miho is my number 1 fangirl, leader of my fanclub. She has been squealing “kawaiiiiiiii!”’s at me since she was a tiny little 1st year, and now she’s all grown up (but she’s still tiny and still yells kawaii…) and she likes boys. Usually, she’s always telling me she has a crush on this boy, or that boy, and it pretty much changes every month and I am quite entertained by it, but a few months ago, she admitted to me that she liked Taimu. Taimu is an introverted little boy in 3-6 and he likes US army. I know this because he never writes anything in his passport, but draws me super detailed pictures of tanks, or guns, or whatever other army stuff. I guess you would think it’s weird, but on him it’s kinda endearing. He’s turned into a pretty cute boy too, recently. He was really short until a few months ago. haha. Anyways, Miho told me she liked him. Then I saw them hanging out after school one day. So I asked them both of them (separately) if they were a couple, but they both denied it vehemently (Japanese can be so stupid and shy, sometimes). So I told Taimu that Miho liked him and he should go for it. A week or so later, he wrote in his passport “I like Miho” and drew two little stick figures holding hands. (cutest. thing. ever!) After that, I asked Miho if they were dating now and she still said no! I told her what he had written in his passport and she was like “majii!!!?!”. The week after that, she wrote “I like Taimu too” in her passport. A while after that, he started waiting for her after school to walk home together. And yesterday, I asked him if he had gotten chocolates for Valentine’s day and he grinned at me and smiled knowingly. I get so happy thinking that my meddling into things helped them get together, hahaha…

Anyways, after class today, sleepy boy (Yuu from 3-2) walked into the staffroom, obviously faking a huge, exaggerated yawn (because I call him sleepy boy). lol. Too. Fucking. Adorable. I smacked him on the head. (more on sleepy boy later).


Well not too many funny things happened today, except that I did tongue-twisters with 1-2 and 1-4 and it was a HUGE hit and really funny to see the kiddies try to say the sentences.

During lunch with 2-1, Minami told me that she wanted my nose again. If you don’t know, foreign people often get told that they have “high noses” and Japanese people usually envy that because they all have flat ones. Well Minami-chan seems to have an obsession with mine cuz she always comments about it…

Oooh boy! Last class of the day… speech-writing with 2-2… we are doing “Show & Tell” and the topic is “my hobby”. I told the kids “my hobby is taking purikura” and took my purikura book to school, which is full of puri from the last 3 years. Some of them are a bit sketchy (making out with ex boyfriends and stuff…) but I figure kids like that kind of thing so I don’t mind showing them. Anyways, these two girls were practically begging me to look at them, so once they were done with the assignment I said ok, and they started to look at them and I went over to help some other kid. Well, at one point I turn around and this one girl Miho is having a fit because she is laughing so hard. She is basically writhing on the floor trying to stop laughing! I go over trying to ask what’s wrong, wondering what the fuck she saw that made her react like this, thinking that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to show them boy pictures after all… and finally, after like 3 minutes straight, she coughs-out that she is laughing because there is a picture of her older sister, Kaho, who was my student 2 years ago. oh-my-god!!!! Wtf….

Another funny thing about the purikura, of course they were interested about the boys in them, and they were like “is he your boyfriend?” so I said “he was, but we broke-up. He’s my ex-boyfriend. Motokare”. Now I only know that “motokare” means ex-boyfriend, but I’m not quite sure what “moto” means. So when they asked me about another boy I said “he’s moto, motokare” and they just cracked up! I’m assuming saying motomotokare doesn’t equal “boyfriend before last” so they just thought it was funny, and then they started pointing to all the boys and asking “how many motos” he was… I thought it was funny. And then Imari pointed to another boy (a student) and asked “is he moto, moto, moto, moto, motokare?” and I just thought it was creepy because if we had dated that long ago, he would’ve been 5y.o. or something…. But I guess he thought it was funny.

Oh and by the way, at the beginning of the class, I asked them to guess what my hobby was. After a few normal ones were called out, Imari gets out of his chair and shouts “DIET!!”. Whole class bursts out laughing. I then had to explain that dieting was NOT my hobby, because a hobby is something you enjoy…. *_*`

Chalk-boy came by just now, with Iguchi in tow. These two are such an odd couple. Manato (chalk-boy) is this big tall meat-head who reminds me of a big, cute, dumb puppy. He can’t string more than 2-3 English words together and I’m pretty sure he’s not the academic type in other subjects either. He’s in the judo club and he’s HUGE. This year, he became good friends with Naoki Iguchi, who is probably the smartest kid in the whole school. He speaks really good English, although he’s never been abroad, and he writes me novels in his passport entries. He also plays the electric guitar and likes rock music. He thinks I’m cool cuz I like punk music. lol. I lent him some cds the other day… ANYWAYS, Manato’s after-school-duty is to refill the chalks for his classroom, so he comes downstairs and has to ask a teacher for chalk (because we hoard them). Now recently, when he’s been coming into the staffroom, I’ve been the only teacher there so he started asking me (in terrible English). Now, he always comes to me, even if there are other teachers around and goes “chalk please”, which I find terribly endearing. ^_- so anyhow, today, they walked in and Iguchi goes “chalk, s’il vous plait”. lol! Apparently he is not content in learning only English, he’s decided to take a stab at French! So I spent the rest of the “conversation” translating everything I said into French, while Manato just stared on, confused! I love them so much. Haha.


Wow, how is it that this is my busiest day of the week and NOTHING entertaining happened?! Well, classes were fun, but nothing special. And Kouki (my no.1 perv, from 3-6) did pull a ridiculous stunt where he sprayed water over his crotch and went “oh no! Vanessa, look what you made me do!” (referring to the fact that looking at me makes his pants get wet….) which was hilarious, but honestly, every comment that comes out of his mouth has totally unsubtle sexual innuendoes so it’s not like it’s that special anymore… lol.

Oh well! See you next week!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Welcome to my world

Hello all! Welcome to my blog!

My name is Vanessa and I've been working at the same junior high school in Japan for the last *counts on my fingers* 30 months. That’s 2 and a half years.

Now you may or may not have heard, but when you are white in Japan, you get a bit of a strange phenomenon happening to you. People stare. People point. It’s like you are on display or something. Some of my friends call it "reverse-racism" *lol* but it's kinda like a celebrity status. Everyone is amazed at how white your skin is, how blond and smooth your hair is, how blue your eyes are, how big your boobs are... lol. you get the idea. And this adulation is multiplied at thousand fold when you suddenly appear in the lives of hundreds of teens, who have either never seen another foreigner before, or only one or two (which would be the person whose job you're taking over).

Usually, this celebrity status only lasts a few weeks/months, depending how entertaining you are, but at my school, it never really went away. Even after 3 years, I get kids whispering that I am so "kawaii" when I walk past them - several times a day; I have an actual fan club (2, if you count my pervs) in which the “members” have devised a hierarchy amongst themselves; and people just generally keep on flattering me on every little thing day in and day out, and being amazed at the stupidest little details.

I actually know some people whom this would annoy. Not me!!!!! lol. I am a big attention-whore – everyone knows it – and so I totally enjoy being the center of attention every single day of school. Now before you ask, this kind of treatment I’m getting is not particularly normal. Modesty may not be my strongest point, but I don't really think how hot I am has anything to do with it either. I think I just lucked-out. My school has such good kids really, and they are all adorable, funny and well meaning. There are no delinquents here, and the worst that usually happens in class is a kid sleeping. I rarely have problems with the kids at all. Most of my frustrations stem from “the Japanese system” or the other teachers, but that’s another story.

So for the last 3 years, my kids, my kiddies, my brats, have been spewing things at me that have made me laugh, smile, and roll me eyes, and some of those have been gold. Pure gold. In the past, whenever one of these funny moments happened, I would just post a facebook status about it, but I generally found that my friends really didn’t care as much as I did. haha. So recently, I’ve been thinking that I should really start a blog where I could collect all those funny stories, and share them with the world. So here I am!

What I want to do is basically a weekly digest of the silly things that happen everyday, in diary form. So like “November 24th, today, Daisuke said this...” and such. I am also planning on doing some special features on my favorite kids, because I am a bad teacher, and I do have favorites (but I have many many of them :p), and when I don’t have anything interesting to say, I shall regal you with some of those “golden” stories from the past. (if I can remember them...) I won’t be posting any pictures though, because I’m pretty sure I would need parental consent and would get shit rained on me if anyone found out. But regardless, I’m sure there’ll be enough to keep you entertained.