cute, funny, retarded, perverted, weird and generally entertaining things my students tell me on a daily basis.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Weekly Digest : february 21 - 25

Showed up to school this morning and there was a folded paper on my desk. I wondered what it was cuz there was some stuff in Japanese on it, and I thought it might be some trash paper or a letter from another teacher, but when I opened it, I saw it was a letter from Haruya! Haruya is a nerdy boy in 3-2 who is somehow really cool with the other kids as well (this happens a lot in Japan…). He’s pretty smart, so he does well at English too. Last time, when we were doing passport-writing, he said that he’d lost his and I scolded him and said he had to write me a LONG letter in English on a big paper. I didn’t actually expect him to do it! The letter is super cute too!
“Dear Ms. Vanessa,
I met you when I was 1st grade.
Do you remember? And I can’t remember that time.
But I thought your hair was beautiful then.
I want hair of gold color. But I think it doesn’t suit for me.
We’re going to graduate this school.
I enjoyed school life for three years.
And we enjoyed playing games with you too.
Thank you.” 
Haha. So cute!
Passports. This one shy kid, who never talks at all, Naoya, asked me if I liked Miyavi in his passport last time. I said yes of course, I love him, do you? and he answered that he was his favorite artist!!! Wtf?! Kid, where have you been hiding all this time?! and now you’re graduating in 3 weeks! Sadness…
Aww, more goodbye messages! I’m gonna cry! Yuka’s passport from 3-4…
“Thank you very much for 2 years! Your class was very fun for me. And you are always cute! <3 I love Vanessa forever…”
Those crazy boys from 3-2 keep telling each other their heads look like vegetables and whatnot… here’s Hayato’s passport entry from last time “I look like a carrot. Am I crazy?” lol. and so I asked him what vegetable he thought I looked like and he said “you look like a radish!! What vegetable do you think Haruya looks like?” lol. I’m teaching important stuff here….. 
Aww… this kid who never ever talks to me wrote in his passport “please don’t forget me. I like Vanessa, so I don’t forget you too. Thank you. Ryo.” Kawaiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!! Doesn’t hurt that he is like 3 feet tall and super cute. Makes me wanna squish him into a big hug!
Lunch with 2-2 today. Kids squealing “kawaii” at me way more than usual today. I am dressed super plain, but I’m wearing my glasses for the first time in months. I guess that’s kawaii??  I was eating at Imari’s table… if you will remember, he was the kid who shouted “DIET!” at me when I asked them what they thought my hobby was. lol. Well today, one of the girls didn’t like the shiitake mushrooms in her soup and she was giving them to her friend, who told her that shiitake were good for dieting. Just then Imari goes (in Japanese) “you should give them to Vanessa. Give her a looooot!”. lol. does he have a fixation on me being on a diet or what?! I gave him an angry glare and he just smiled his silly smile at me. Can’t be mad at him :p

Back at passports… doing 3-6 now. Here’s an excerpt from Junya’s passport “which do you like better, meat or Kouki”? lol! I almost laughed out loud. Kouki is my #1 perv who has a boob fetish… he probably put him up to this cuz Junya’s a good kid :p  and true to his pervy self, Kouki asked “which do you like, wiener or sausage?” dumb brat. Oooh, and here’s one more. Kazuki wrote “do you have a boyfriend? If you have a boyfriend, Kouki is very sad”. Hahaha.

2-3 passports, we just studied comparatives… Yukina’s entry: “Vanessa is cuter than any other!” cuuuuute!!
No classes today so it was super boring. Had lunch with 2-3 but they sat me with the quiet kids… Mizuki kept looking up to smile at me, but she didn’t say much. Meh.

Aww, chalk-boy came by to get some chalk today and he was acting especially dumb. Haha. He said he wanted 5 brown chalks. And I said “5?! Are you gonna eat them?!” and Naoki said “yes, so delicious”. lol.

After school, as I was leaving, I saw Masaya and his chubby friend leaving the school building a little ahead of me. Masaya is this super cute genki brat from 1-4, who also happens to be the brother of one of my favorite brats in 3-5. I already liked him before, but I think I started liking him even more when I found out he was Shoma’s brother. Haha. Anyways, I always “pick” on Masaya in class, because I love him to bits. He’s also one of the few first year students whose name I remember (cuz I suck and the little ones all look the same). Anyways, they were leaving and his friend turned to wave at me while Masaya just gave me a stupid nod. They started walking and I could see them arguing and the other kid pulling his sleeve. I thought he was trying to make him stay and talk/walk with me cuz we were going in the same direction, but Masaya was like “no, no, no!” anyways, they kept on walking, and since I walk super SLOW, they quickly got way ahead of me. They are some of the few kids who take the same way home as me, and I’ve seen them near the station before after school 2 or 3 times. Last time, I thought it looked like they were waiting for me, but then they just said hi and left so I thought maybe not. This time, like I said, they were way ahead of me. I was walking, not really paying attention and listening to music on my ipod, and when I was almost at the streetlight, I looked up and saw that they were still waiting at the opposite corner. (this was like 10 minutes later) Their light was green, but they weren’t crossing! They were totally waiting for me! Haha, it made me giggle so much. And then, the minute I passed them they crossed the light, after having waved at me. Sooooo cute XD I think Masaya has a crush on me. He’s 12. lol.

This morning, I had to go give Saho a paper in 3-1, so I walked in there before class to give it to her. On my way out, Shinobu runs up to me and goes “Vanessa! Vanessa!” like it’s some kind of life-and-death emergency and I go “what?!” and she pauses, looks to her friend and goes. “I love you!” and she extends her arms for a hug. So I gave her a hug and said “aw, I love you too honey!” and just at that moment, another English teacher was passing behind us in the corridor and she went “awww…” lol.

Today was the last time I saw both 3-2 and 3-4, because the 3rd year students will stop having regular classes from march 8th. We played the “music dice game” which is like musical chairs but they pass around a big giant dice, and when the music stops whoever has it has to throw it down and answer a different question for each number. It was really fun and bittersweet. I’m gonna miss those brats. In 3-2, boys were crazy as usual and kept trying to re-throw the dice so they could get a 6, which would get them a “challenge” card. They also kept laughing cuz they thought I was saying “daisuki game” instead of “dice music game”. I’d brought an MCR cd and a Miyavi cd to play during the game. All classes chose to listen to “American rock”, except for 3-4, who wanted to listen to Miyavi, I guess because I’m always going on and on about how I love him. lol. Well at the end of the class, Ai-chan and co. came over to look at the cd, telling me “ちょういい声、その人!” (basically, “this guy has a nice voice!” and then they see the pictures inside the box and start squealing “kakkoii! Kakkoii!” lol. I told her she could borrow the cd if she absolutely returned it by next week and she jumped up and down for joy. I laughed my evil laughter for having converted another student into a Miyavi fan. Mwahahahahahaaaa!!!!

Final passports from 3-2 
Ayana: “I became like English! Because you taught us. Thank you!”
Awww, bless you sweetheart! Although apparently I didn’t teach you English all that well! lol.

“I have no boyfriend too. (T_T)
I will be a high school student in spring <3
Then I want very cool boyfriend (^ O -)
Today, Vanessa class last øøøøøøøøø
Very very very very very very very very very very excited and enjoy!”
I love Nami! She is so genki and hyper all the time! and it’s nice to know that I’m teaching her about the important things in life… lol.
“Vanessa, Thenk you!! I love you!! signed: by chibikko”
This made me squeal soooo much! Because I always call that kid “chibikko” cuz she is like 3 feet tall and has a super cute little face. She HATES when I call her short though, and she didn’t take very fondly to the nickname (though I know she secretly loved it, because honestly, getting a nickname from Vanessa-sensei is COOL. lol) so for her to have signed off like that is just so meaningful to me. ^_^

Aaah, today is one of the lucky days when I go to elementary school…. (barf) those who know me know that I LOATHE IT WITH A FIREY PASSION!!! But every once in a while, entertaining things do happen. Like today in a grade 6 class, we were just starting a new unit about jobs, and so we were showing pictures of various jobs and the kids had to guess the English names if they knew them, and there was the picture of a dude in a cabbage patch at one point, and the word for that is “farmer” of course, but it’s really not a word that Japanese people come across much, so they don’t usually know it. That said, it doesn’t stop them from trying to guess. So here they are, racking their little brains when one kid shouts “vegetable player!!!” (in the line of “soccer player”, “baseball player”, etc…) I could’ve cried it was so damn cute and funny at the same time. lol

I was coming down the stairs after school today and one of the ninesei girls suddenly asked me “ね~Vanessa何歳?” (how old are you?) I said it was a secret and she went “eeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!!!” and then, “I think Vanessa’s about 23”. I shrugged and she added, “二十四かな~” and I just repeated “kanaaaa~” and she laughed. Usually it’s the boys asking me how old I am and not quitting. She was like “Why? Why is it a secret?” and I said “because I am forever young!” and she laughed and left on chanting “Young! Young! Young!” in English, haha.

After school, Emiko and Sayuri (from 3-6) came hunting for Domoto-sensei (as they often do, I’m not sure why…) but he wasn’t there so they stopped to chat with me. I was studying vocabulary and Sayuri peaked over my head and went “sugoi! Vanessa nihongo kakeru!” (wow, Vanessa can write Japanese!) and then they asked me to write their names in hiragana and they were all clapping when I did (hiragana is NOT hard…) and then suddenly Emiko saw my new phone and she started squealing at it cuz it’s apparently the one that she wants. She also super randomly asked me if it was true that I liked Big Bang, to which I agreed and I showed her all the Big Bang songs on my iPod, which brought a few more rounds of “sugoi!”s. lol. Then we started talking about how we’d both gotten BB shirts from UNIQLO and she was like “I got the pink one” and I was like “I got the white one” and she goes “oh! Oh! With the pink logo!” and I’m like “yes!” and Sayuri is rolling her eyes at us. Then she says to me (in English!) “I want to marry G-dragon”. lol. and I say “me too honey!” haha. And I ask her if he can speak Japanese and she says “only a little” and I laugh. But then she adds, in Japanese “It’s okay, our hearts can reach each other because of love!” which I totally didn’t understand, so she rephrased that using gestures, which was hilarious. I went “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh…. *pause* ganbatte”. And they both laughed.

On the way to the station after school, I ran into two of the 2nd year girls (whose names I’m sorry to say, I can’t remember… T_T bad teacher!!) and they stayed to walk and chat with me the whole way, which was really fun cuz they were quite chatty and not shy at all ^_^ they wanted to know what I was listening to, and each popped an headphone in and listened. It was a Korean song from the Korean drama “you’re beautiful”. I tried to explain to them about that drama in half-English, half-Japanese, but they didn’t know it. Then one of them asked me what kind of boys I liked and I was like “the cute kind”. And she goes “oh, like Nino?” (Arashi) and I make a face and go “well…. A little, but I don’t like Arashi”. They laugh. “Then what celebrity do you like?” she goes on. I think a bit and answer “I like Oguri Shun!” and she goes “ooooh…. But he’s more macho than cute…” lol! Macho! Hahaha… then she asks me “how about ninensei boys?”
Now, if you haven’t worked in a Japanese school ever before, you might find it highly disturbing that no one thinks anything of asking me to choose a 14y.o. boy as my “type”, but it’s happened before and it’s happened in the opposites to guys I know… sometimes it’s the teachers doing the asking, which is WAY more disturbing… but anyways, let’s just say I am answering this question by projecting these boys’ looks 10 years into the future. lol.
So anyways, I think a bit, and it’s kinda hard for me to answer cuz I don’t know the 2nd years’ names very well, and finally I answer Ryota. Ryota is a super cute boy in 2-3, who always has a grin/smirk on his face and he is so cheerful. I call him “charisma boy” lol. When he did his Show&Tell, he put on a radio announcer voice and went “HEY EVERYONE! MY NAME IS RYOTA!” doing funny gestures… btw, in Japan, S&T usually means students reading quietly and nervously off their papers. So it was a HUGE deal for him to act out like that. Anyways both girls SCREAM “eeeeeeeeehhh?!?!?!!!” and that’s when I remembered that there is another very memorable Ryota in 2nd year, in 2-6. He’s this super-loud “thug” brat who can’t understand a word of English and always looks as if he’s ready to punch someone. He’s not actually a bully (as far as I know…) but he’s totally destined to become a yanki. lol. So that’s why the girls were giving me bewildered stares.
Anyways, I explained myself and they thought it was pretty funny. So after that I asked them if they liked anyone, and the first one said no and the 2nd one said yes, she liked Dan. Now Dan I can remember cuz, well, wouldn’t you remember if you had a Japanese kid named Dan? It’s kinda funny. Also, in the recent months, Dan morphed into a mini future gyaruo. lol. His hair just tripled in volume overnight and he is BLACK!! lol. He’s super-tanned. It really makes me laugh. He’s a really good kid though. Always tries hard in English class. So I told her I was giving her my blessing, haha. And then it was time to board the train. :p

WHY do they not tell me when they change the freakin’ morning meetings??? On Wednesday I arrived early for nothing, and then this morning, I crashed the weekly morning meeting. Now usually, at those meetings, the cute hospital teacher sits on a chair behind me cuz he has no desk in the staffroom, and he never fails to make funny comments to me. I think he has a crush on me or something :p anyways, this morning he couldn’t do that cuz I was late, but afterwards, as he left to go to the hospital, he saw me typing and bent over to tell me “isn’t it hard to type with those long nails? Are you okay?” lol. I said all was well. Not a student thing, but every interaction with this teacher cracks me up. He acts like a shy high school boy. haha.

Today at lunchtime, a bunch of girls told me I looked “kakkoii”. This has never happened before. I could show up in goth makeup and I would get “kawaii”, so it’s very odd. I guess wearing jeans is “kakkoii”.

Checking last passport entries from 3-5…
Yuka: “yes I do (play soccer). I’ll love you forever. I love Vanessa. How about you?”
Awww… cute? But what is “how about you” ? Do I love you? or do I love myself? lol.
Arisa: “thank you! very interesting. And enjoy! Vanessa is cute”.
This is odd because it comes from a serious, withdrawn girl who always gives me really weird looks when I smile at her… I guess you really do affect everyone!!
Yurina:” I’m happy because my test was good. I’m sad because at last Vanessa class is on last”. I dunno if she tried to make it witty on purpose (probably not) but I thought it was really funny!!
Shohei: (last time he asked me what I thought of our JTE and I said I thought she was the best English teacher in this school. His reply was) “I think she is the second teacher in this school because I think you are the best English teacher! Thank you!!”
AWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! *squee* I just want to squeeze him in a bear hug for saying that!!
And look how awesome I am at teaching English! This is an excerpt from Masanari’s passport: “Today, test return. But, I sad it. So, I want to run. I fun your English!!! Bye”
I’ve been around bad English for so long that this makes total sense to me. How about you?
Takuto: “Vanessa, Thank you! your game make us happy. I want to your happy!”Hmm… what do you think that last part means??? 

I had to stay a bit longer after school today. Some of the kids want to enter a high school that has a special English program and they have to do an interview in English, so I had to help them for that. While doing the practice questions, I asked one of the girls, Saho, “if you could study abroad anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?” and she answered “I want to go to Canada, because of my ALT”. She said that last week too and it just shocked me so much. She’s kinda like a “cool beauty” you know? A bit stand-offish, and she’s in 3-1 and friends what that bloody Takuya and some of the other kids who are a bit indifferent to me, so I thought that she didn’t like me much, so I was really surprised when she said that! I can’t remember if I mentioned it last week, so I’m saying it now!
And on that note, I’m OFF!! It’s the weekend ;p


  1. You write looong entries! Can I add related stories? :)

    When I had that jobs lesson, the teacher wanted a "joker" type job for a game and one of the boys yelled "BUNNY GIRL!" (like a playboy bunny) and the teacher went "No, no, let's use 'Samantha' as the joker" so the kids goes "EEEHHH? Samantha's a Bunny Girl?!" lol

  2. So cuuuute~~

    The semester is coming to an end (I'm not too sure how the school year works in Japan derp derp), it must be hard saying goodbye to some of them :(