cute, funny, retarded, perverted, weird and generally entertaining things my students tell me on a daily basis.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Weekly Digest : february 28th to march 4th


Nothing much happened today and I am a right zombie… I had all my last classes with 3-1, 3-3, and 3-6 and I feel a bit bummed that they didn’t go better than they did, or that kids didn’t seem particularly sad, and that they didn’t seem to particularly enjoy the game and were just loud. Sigh. Maybe it’s because I’m out of it. Who knows? That said, I did a little happy dance in my head after my lesson with 3-1 since I never have to teach them EVER AGAIN! For the last few months I have dreaded every single class with that homeroom, because the bane of my existence is in it. the ONE kid in school who hates, me – possibly for the sole reason of being different from everyone else since I am pretty much venerated by every kid in school – but he fucking pushed my buttons one too many times and now I pretty much just hate him and want him to fuck off from my school. *sigh* also, that class is terribly lazy and weak at English, mostly cuz their teacher is this old man who can’t teach at all and just translates everything I say. It makes me sad. They should ship him off to early retirement already! Anyways… so I’m having a kind of BLAH day.

LOL! Imari just walked into the staffroom, looking for another teacher most like, and I was typing some reply on a messageboard that I’m on, and he just leaned over my shoulder and peaked at what I was writing for a good 5-10 seconds with a look of utter concentration on his face, then he pulled back and looked at me. “Can you read it?” I asked, and he looks at the screen again, before bursting into his usual goofy grin and saying “zenzen yomenai!” (I totally can’t read it) lol. I just thought it was really cute :p then Teppei showed up in the doorway and they both stood staring at me typing in the computer and went “tsume sugoi” (her nails are wow). And so Imari sauntered back over and brought his face super-near my hand to examine my (long and fake) nails for a few seconds before trying to pull one back. He laughed, I laughed at him then he took off. lol. I love that kid.


Honestly, I’ve kinda checked out (of my own head) today so not much happened that is worth reporting, and of that which has, I can’t really remember much. I did have fun and forget my worries a bit during show&tell class with 2-4. I was sitting next to Ryouga (I always sit in whatever seat is empty at the back for speeches) and he kept pestering me to look at what grades I was giving people. He kept leaning over and pushing against me like an annoying little kid. He asked me why I was drawing stars next to some people’s names so I said it was because they did good and I’d give them a sticker. Then he spent the entire class trying to draw a star next to his name on my paper. lol. Love that brat. Oh and Kota kept telling me “Ryouga is stinky! Stinky!” and Ryouga would go “not skinky, no!” lol. such mature kids, I have!

Then after I got back to the staffroom, some kids came to return keys and sleepy boy poked his head into the doorway and said “hello!” so I said “hello, nebocchan” and he went “no! not nebocchan, noooo…” and his friends laughed and pushed him out the door, and then from the other side of the door I could hear him yell, in a hulk-like voice “I am not nebocchan!” haha… btw, “nebou” means to oversleep, so my calling him nebocchan means I’m calling him “oversleeping-cutie” or something like that. Haha…


I had my last class with 3-5 this morning, which was also my last 3rd year class ever. 3-5 has always been my favorite (this year) so I’m happy that it went down really well and the kiddies were adorable. Yousuke pulled some hilarious stunts too, and it made me go “aaaaaww!!! I’ll miss you all so much!!”

Yousuke is a tall kid with long floppy hair, whose name I didn’t know for the longest time, because he was either always sleeping, absent, or didn’t talk at all. Then one day, we had a one-on-one conversation test and he just freakin’ blew me away by answering every question cheerfully and easily, and telling me he liked indie American rock bands. I was like “excuse me?! Who are you and what the hell have you done with the kid who never does any work in my class?!” I even told my JTE about him after that incident and she was like “oh yeah. Apparently he’s like that in other subjects too. Super smart kid”. No way, I was shocked. Since then, he has become one of my favorites and I always go pester him when he’s not working.

So anyways, I had the kids playing a board game in their lunch groups, in which they had to make English sentences. When I went by his group to check that they were making correct sentences, Shoma was asking Yousuke “are you crazy?” and Yousuke went, “no, no! not crazy!” and everybody laughed and started saying he was and he turned to me and went “listen! listen!” and pulled on my hand and launched into a lengthy speech – all in English – about how he hadn’t slept at all the night before, but he was not crazy. I laughed and said I was happy that he had come to school today, because it was our last class together. And then he said “yes, yes, I came to school even I didn’t sleep because it’s Vanessa’s last class! I came for Vanessa!” and every word he added was louder and louder and he was just screaming at the end and the whole class was listening to him. Then he shouted out “but I’m not crazy!!!” and the whole class started laughing. Lol. <3

Oh and at the end of the class, I had them play shiritori on the board for like ten minutes and his team won. The thing that cracked me up though, was that his first word was “crazy”, and the last one was “win”. lol. How smug can you get :p

On the way to my next class, I ran into Daisuke, a 2nd year boy with a buzz cut who is always acting crazy so we have our usual banter where I tell him he’s a crazy boy and then he points to me and goes “crazy girl!” and we go back and forth til I get bored or have to leave. lol. recently though, he started saying “it’s a crazy girl!” and I told him he had to say “she” not “it” because it means not a person, but he only thought it was funnier and kept doing it. So anyways, I was passing him being silly with his friends down the hall and I smacked him on the head with my papers going “it’s a crazy boy!” and he acted all shocked and ran after me to shout “crazy girl! crazy girl!” but I was already gone. I won this round. eheh. And yes, I have the emotional maturity of a 14 years old.

My last class before lunch was with 1-1, and I simply adore that class of kiddies. They are adorable. And they’re so tiny still. They were really genki today too and kept cracking jokes… one kid kept pointing at his partner and going “he is not human”. lol. I guess I can’t remember anything funny happening, but the whole class was really enjoyable, and it cheered me up so much.


Went to the elementary school today, blergh. But I am happy about the fact that it’s the second to last time I have to teach the grade 6’s this year!! Also, during the last 15 minutes of class when the teacher was having them write a “speech” and most kids were doing fuck-all, I plopped down on one of the desks and started chatting with the 3 kiddies around me. Much more useful way of spending that time, lol. conversation topics involved my nails, my hair and how the one boy included in our conversation should be a model. lol. such important things….

Also, it’s freezing cold today, like winter decided to make a reappearance, and when the two little girls came to pick me up for the second class, one of them was practically shivering. Well duh, she was wearing shorts, with no tights. Hello!! Today, in attempts to battle the cold, I dressed in a really really warm oversized soft wool cardi, and since they where both going “attatakasou~” at me (it looks waaarm!) I was like, “ok, come in!” and opened the giant thing big enough to wrap it back around the 3 of us. We walked to class huddled together like a 3-headed alien. Cuteness.

During class with 1-4, we played Pictionary. I know last time I said 1-1 was my favorite, but actually, 1-4 might be my favorite :p it changes depending on the day. Anyways, during the game, at one point, this super adorable kid that I love because he looks like he’s still in like grade 4 of elementary school, gets up and picks a food card. He picks “rice” but he can’t understand it. I whisper “gohan” to him and he nods uncertainly. Then he starts drawing a piece of corn on the board, and I’m like “no, no, no!” while Mizushima-sensei is pissing himself laughing in the corner, but the kid keeps on drawing. Eventually, someone in the class shouts out “corn!” and I’m like “ok, I’ll give you the point, but he was supposed to draw rice!” and everybody starts laughing. The kid looks up to me and I go “gohan!” and he just kinda shrugs and gives me the cutest smile ever! toooo cute!!! Other similar mistakes included mistaking ramen for lemon, and coffee for beer… lol. And another funny thing was when Atsuya, probably the dumbest kid in class (no offense, I love him but he is SPACE…) guessed the answer for a picture in like 5 seconds, when everybody else was racking their brains trying to understand the other guy’s picture. Everybody was just kinda dumbstruck, then started laughing. It was awesome.

Afterwards I had class with 2-2. We were doing show&tell and I was a bit disappointed since they are quite a genki bunch, but most of their speeches were really boring. The biggest source of entertainment came from Nichika’s bright red cap (which he’d brought cuz he’s a street dancer, lol) and various people trying it on and looking ridiculous. At the end of the class, before greeting, the girl next to him handed it to me and I put it on my head, backwards. Nichika didn’t even notice a thing since he was babbling away to his friend and everyone started laughing. JTE said “stand up” and they all stood up and Nichika still wasn’t paying attention and so his neighbor poked him and he finally turned around and his eyes popped out of his head and everyone started laughing. “see you!” everyone chorused and I gave him his hat back. I love that kid, but I think he knows it and is annoyed by it, haha. Well, half-annoyed. :p maybe it’s cuz I’m always asking him to dance… lol. He and his little gf Yuna have been going to special dance classes out of town for a few years (I’ve bumped into them on the train after school a few times, so I know :p) and I think it’s really cool, but he won’t show me. haha.


Mizushima-sensei’s homeroom class is soooo odd. They are like a little army of perfectly behaved pint-sized robots. When they do “mokuso” (one minute of silence before the bell rings, with their eyes closed), you can hear a fly buzzing around and no one even opens their eyes when they can hear my footsteps coming in. It’s so funny. I mean, in other classes kids are giggling, struggling to keep their eyes closed, or just plain not doing it at all. I guess I should tell you a bit more about Mizushima-sensei though, so you can understand. Imagine a yanki in your head. Got that image? Now imagine a yanki as a teacher, minus the blonde hair. That’s Mizushima-sensei. He has that weird flat-banana hairstyle. He talks using “ore” and “omae”, and gets really rude when scolding the kids. If you piss him off, you don’t do it twice. He’s actually a really good and funny teacher, but he also reminds me of a drill sergeant; hence why his class is so well behaved. Had class with 1-6 this morning and we did Pictionary. Fun times. Nothing special happened. There is a kid named Riku in that class. I just love him cuz his name is Riku. lol.

After that I went to the elementary school to teach to the grade 6’s for the LAST TIME EVER!!!!! So happy! Also I was told that I wouldn’t go back there next year! woohooo!!! I was like “oh, really??” trying to steele my face to not glow with happiness as they told me. lol. 6-3 was a little better behaved than usual today, although I was pleased to find out that that one girl who is really weird and inappropriate (always poking me in the belly, saying it’s big, or trying to grab my tits…) will NOT be coming to my junior high school next year.

I don’t have class this afternoon.

On that note, peace out! TGIF!!

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