cute, funny, retarded, perverted, weird and generally entertaining things my students tell me on a daily basis.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Student file : my pervs

There is a group of 3rd year boys that I constantly refer to as “my pervs”. You may have noticed me saying things like “he’s one of my pervs” or “my pervs did so and so...” in past issues (even though there’s only been like one… but if you know me then you might remember it from facebook statuses and such). Anyways, they were a group of kids who used to all hang out together when they were in 2nd year, but this year they’ve all been split-out into different groups and made different friends, so the balance is a bit different. Some have become less pervy, too (or they just show it less)

Basically, I call them that because, ever since they were ninensei, they’ve been constantly fussing over me, and telling/asking me terribly inappropriate things. Normal people would probably have gotten upset at them, I (being the attention-whore that I am) just laugh at them and kinda encourage it, eheh. They are so entertaining anyways.

Here are the main members:

Kouki (3-6)
He’s the club leader. lol. He’s the perviest of them all and he is constantly staring at my tits. Or commenting on them. Like all the time. Like “oh, this shirt is showcasing them nicely today” (in Japanese of course, he’s pretty crap at English). One of my favorite “golden” moments in school this year, was when Miyako-sensei was talking in Japanese, explaining a grammar point and then all of a sudden, mid-sentence, she goes “Yoshimi! Stop looking only at Vanessa! I’m teaching here, look at me!!” in Japanese. and he goes “huh?” and of course the whole class bursts into laugher. Haha.

Another of his classic moments (actually, this was a collective effort since they were all in the same class) was last year when we were studying comparatives and he wrote on his paper “Vanessa’s bust is bigger than Tsunekawa-sensei’s” and I could only laugh because it was grammatically perfect (and the grammar point we were studying” and he just stood next to me chanting it over and over for like 5 minutes while the other teacher looked ready to punch him and muttered “that’s very rude”, but of course he couldn’t hear her since he can barely speak English at all. lol.

Tatsuya (3-1)
Tatsuya looks like a doll. Even now that he is into a man, he still looks soooo cute. he has freckles on his nose, a big mop of black hair, and a super cute naughty smile. Can you say wolf in sheep’s clothing?! His main catch phrase is “Vanessa, can I grope you?” which he learned how to say last year… and he often asks in Japanese as well. He’s been better behaved recently though cuz he’s got a girlfriend (super cute Ai-chan! Nooo!! Don’t do bad things to her!!), but he still got that smirky twinkle in his eye everytime I look at him. one of my funny memories of him was when he asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I said yes, and he sat there with a bewildered expression and asked me “maji?!” about 10 times in a row (with me saying yes each time in between) and then when it finally registered he went on “so do you guys have sex?” at which point I left. lol.

Kaede (3-6)
He’s in the same class as Kouki this year, so whenever I go to their class it’s like getting a double dose of perv. He’s in the baseball club, so he’s a good boy, but he’s super beefy, and there is something terribly lewd to the looks and smiles that he gives me. Recently, everytime he’s talked to me was to ask me about my weight-loss. He just can’t seem to get over it. lol. he doesn’t usually say bad things to me, but it’s all in the eyes…

Ryuya (3-2)
He isn’t really that pervy anymore, but he was in the original members’ club, so he deserves a mention. He is short and tiny and has spiky hair and he’s really really loud. He’s gonna give someone looooots of trouble in high school, methinks. He is the one who instigated my nickname “BANE!!” which has to be screamed out apparently. All the pervs call me that and shout my name like that when I enter a room. It’s hilarious.

Ryuhei (3-5)
Tiny boy with glasses and pretty bad acne. His eyes are huge though. I think that when his acne clears up, there is the hope of him turning into an attractive young man, but he’s such a pervy little dork now. He used to be my biggest fan last year, but has gotten more withdrawn this year and constantly tells me he can’t speak English and doesn’t like English. My favorite moment with him was one day last year when I approached his desk and he shouted “mabushii!!” at me while covering his eye. If you don’t get it, it was a reference to the “yamato tenshi…” I forgot the name… some drama with Kame in it in which the goth girl can’t stand looking at beautiful guys and she shouts “mabushii!!!” at them (it’s too bright!!) because they are just too good looking for her to handle. Well I thought it was funny.

Naoki (3-6)
Naoki is like 3 feet tall and looks like he could still be in elementary school. He was my favorite for a long time cuz he was just so damn adorable. I used to hate that the other pervs were “corrupting him” cuz he was so damn cute. he used to be super genki and smiling but in the last 6 months or so he’s become super serious, which makes me sad. I always wonder if something happened to him or if it’s just the stress of the entrance tests. Definitely, my favorite moment with him is, last year, just before class in the hallway, he asked me “Vanessa kiss, please”. I usually said no, but that time I said “ok, and he ran away.” Haha. After that, when class started and we did the greeting, after shouting their answers to “how are you”, and before I said “sit down”, when it was all quiet, he shouted out from the back of the class “Vanessa kiss, please!” and my automatic response was to shout back “no!” and the whole class burst out laughing. Aaah, natsukashii…

Shunpei (3-6)
Last one of the bunch. He’s actually a good boy this year and seems more mature than pretty much any of the other guys in his grade. He’s in the baseball club and has short hair and is super dark. Everytime I look it him I think “he is a future gyaruo” lol. he tried to “nampa” me one time and it was really hilarious. He had rehearsed all his lines in English before. It was just before class and he walked up to me and gave a little “sup!” chin nod, and said “you are very cute”. I laughed. They he added, all in English, “will you come to my house after school?” and I said “no!” and he just looked down and said “oh. Ok. Goodbye.” And walked off to his friends who laughed at him.

I will miss them all sooo much when they graduate. None of my other male students, in the years before or after them, have ever been so terribly inappropriate with me. Haha. They’re all good kids. Oh well ^_-


  1. Ahhh is it really weird I'm having so much fun reading all of this??!

    I like living in Canada too much to move to Japan even though I really enjoy visiting it whenever I can afford it, so it's entertaining to read what you have to say about your students! :)

    I look forward to reading more of all these kids~

  2. thanks! no, no! it makes me happy!!

    i have a lot to say about my brats, so hopefully i'll be able to keep you entertained for a while! ;)

  3. :O I think it's amazing watching these guys grow up! Don't you think? Maybe you know them more than their mothers :P