cute, funny, retarded, perverted, weird and generally entertaining things my students tell me on a daily basis.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Week of October 10th to 14th

Soooorry! last week I was very sick! so I pretty much didn’t write down anything of what happened….


was public holiday.


First class with 1-7, they cheered when I walked in ^___^  especially Eitaro. Really loud. Which made me wanna hug him cuz he is soooooo cuuuuuuute! Class went well.

2nd period with 3-5 went okay. I was watching Kiyo not doing one of the speaking activities (where they have to walk around asking other people for their answers) so I was gonna go over and ask him the questions, but he saw me coming and started running away from me! lol. I chased him around the classroom. Twice. Then he went and asked some other kid.

On the way back to the staffroom, I ran into Dan and Kota. Dan just mouthed “hello” to me, so I mouthed it back, then Kota said “hello!” and Dan smacked him upside the head and said in Japanese “No! You have to do it silently!!!”

5th period was with 3-2, so I was looking forward to it, but then the bell rang and Hasegawa sensei wasn’t showing up. I waited a little bit cuz sometimes teachers are just late, but she wasn’t coming at all. She hadn’t told me anything about it so I wasn’t sure what to do. I was chatting with the kids a bit; Daisuke and Ayano were being all “raburabu” and almost holding hands under the desk. *cute* and they were looking at some purikura and I asked them if they had puri together, and he gave me a big “yes!!” and she went “no no no!” I laughed and said I wanted to see it. Dan and Kota were being pervy teenagers and daring each other to say stuff to me in English, except I could totally hear them mumbling “nice body”, and a more entertaining “what are you doing tonight” in perfect English, which cracked me up. Finally someone told me that Hasegawa sensei was taking the class picture with her homeroom for the yearbook. That’s nice. Couldn’t she have told me before? Anyhow. So I made them play crossfire and we still managed to finish before she got back. :/ Then we just did review and practice for the test for the rest of the class (when she finally came back) Dan decided he was sleeping through the whole thing, and no amount of poking could get him to actually do anything. Then this other baseball boy, Takaya, was just sleeping on his desk, and I went to poke him awake. He perked up, but 5 minutes later I turned around and he was sleeping again. Later, I was messing around with Daisuke (who sits just in front of him) and pretending to punch him awake, and Daisuke goes “shh… broke heart. It’s ok”, making a sad face and broken-heart gesture with his hands. Aww… has this big tall baseball guy gotten his heart broken by a tiny JHS girl? Poor kid. So I let him sleep :p


Today, morning classes were cancelled because of the sports test day. When I showed up, the staff room was empty and most of the teachers were outside on the field. I thought that was weird because I don’t remember it being like that in the past (I also don’t remember having a special day just for P.E. tests, but then again, maybe that’s just me getting senile…) but mostly I was just worried that someone was gonna come and ask me to join them. A) I’ve been so busy with classes recently that I have been relishing this day of doing almost nothing for a while, and B) I had to plan some lessons for the next 1st and 2nd year classes, so I needed that time to do that, not to go and pretend to be useful out there in the sun. Anyways, no one did so all was well.

During 5th period, 3 teachers had special demo classes (one in each year) that other teachers went to observe. Normally that means I get to sit on my ass by myself in the staffroom, but unlucky for me, one of them was Shigeki-sensei, and he had asked me (like 3 months ago) to “please assist” him. And by that he meant answer one conversation question and then walk around the class helping the kids as they work. Hard work. But whatever, since I didn’t have anything else today, I took my role as his shadow very seriously :p It was with his homeroom, 2-4 – or in other words : Masaya’s class. The aforementioned specimen was surprisingly well behaved, and class went really well, mostly because Shigeki-sensei had already prepped them and told them exactly what they were gonna do… *shakes head* oh well.

When I walked into the class, Manaka greeted me by flashing this towel at me and going “Vanessa! look! look!” and I was a bit puzzled til I noticed the towel said “Tohoshinki” and so I was like “cool!” and gave her a high five. She said to me “I love ~ (honestly, I forgot which one…)” and then she posed and said “my mother loves Yuno”, doing a little hearts gesture with her hands, which was really cute. Then I told her that I liked Changmin and she went “nooooooooo!!! XX much better!” lol.

Another funny thing was that we were studying “I think that ~” and during the intro part of the lesson, Shigeki-sensei asked (as a joke) “what do you think of my hair?” Well, this one kid who is sort of an overachiever and really good at English stands up and goes, super confidently “I think it’s great!” lol. My JTE is like 60 and his thinning grey hair. Also, the same kid’s team’s speech at the end went like this.

A: Do you know mister Shigeki? He is my homeroom teacher. He is kind and loves sake. What do you think about my Shigeki?
B: oh I know. I like him. I think his hair is great.



Really sleepy this morning, and really unexcited by the perspective of having 5 classes. Lucky for me, due to some mysterious fucking up of the schedule (again) 2nd period disappeared so I only have 4. actually, I may have 3 cuz I saw the sub teacher girl earlier, which means Yuka isn’t here, which means that she probably forgot that I’m supposed to go to her class, which means that if I don’t go, nobody will know…. hmmm….

Anyways, first period was with 1-1 and it was pretty uneventful. At the beginning of class, Soma was looking at all the stickers on his name-card and asking me what happened when he got to 20. I told him he’d get a special prize and he went “ooooh…” really thoughtfully. It was kinda funny. Also, I realized that he is now taller than me. He’s 12. I feel short :/

Next was 1-3 during 4th period. They were REALLY boring. Most entertaining moments involved me going up to this TINY kid who has GIANT eyelashes (they look like fake lashes.. they are that long!) and freaking him out by trying to touch them and saying “wow, your eyelashes are so long!” and having him reply in really polite Japanese “yes, I’m often told that” lol. Then this other kid was talking to his friend and referring to me as “kinpatsu sensei” (means gold-haired teacher) which cracked me up. And of course the tiny kid with the beauty mark under his eye who answered “I study dinosaur!!” when I asked “what do you study”…  (remember last week he told me he WAS a dinosaur? :p)

Then, I stopped by the teacher’s toilet before going back to the staffroom, and ran into this young part-time teacher who teaches Japanese and has never ever talked to me (I secretly hate her cuz the hot teacher is always hitting on her as well…) and she goes to me (in Japanese) “aren’t you hungry?” so I reply that indeed, I am hungry. She giggles and tells me that she is so hungry too and always looks forward to eating kyushoku…. hhhmmmm… Okay! That was fucking random…

Last class of the day was regular English with 3-6, and it was pretty boring at first, but actually turned out really fun towards the end. First off, during break, this one kid was looking out of the window and I crept up next to him until my cheek was almost next to him but just behind him, to make him freak out when he turned around – which he did – but the funny part was that when he walked back to his seat, all the other boys were teasing him, going “you stud! You just kissed Vanessa! woooh!” lol. (I didn’t even touch him, FYI…) then, during the class there was this big argument with the one group in the back about how you were supposed to say “Daibutsu” in English, so I said “big Buddha” and they thought it was hilarious and refused to write it down and kept on going Daibutsu, Daibutsu… and then I said “there are 3 daibutsus in Japan” and they just cracked up and kept repeating “daibutsu-zu” like it was the most hilarious thing in the world… Honestly, I didn’t really get it, but they seemed entertained. At the end, I got to play my game and they surprisingly got really into it, which was a lot of fun. One of my questions was “this type of music is liked by Vanessa” and the first kid who’s hand shot up was Seiya (the tall one) and he went “visual!” and that was correct, so I gave him the point, but then Taisei yelled from the back “That’s not fair! He’s a Vanessa otaku!” and everybody laughed including me. It’s especially funny considering that kid is not one of my fanboys at all…


First period was 3-4 and it started horribly bad, with them being more I-don’t-give-a-shit-about-anything than I’d ever seen them before… but it (to my incredible surprise) turned around at the end. Mostly, Ryota was just being super loud, wandering around, talking over Hasegawa-sensei… He even spent a good 5 minutes out of his seat in the back, talking to Ryouga about weekend plans, and then shouting over some other kids’ heads at Yasutoshi to ask if he was in as well, and I was just watching them but it took AGES before Hasegawa-sensei even said anything. Then she started reading out the names of all the kids who hadn’t handed in their notebooks for correction, and starts chiding them, and Ryota goes “eh? not me?!” and she goes back to her list and exclaims “of course, you.. how did I miss you…” which was kinda funny and everybody laughed. Then they did their stupid practice test... most of them… and when it was time for my game at the end, I was super worried, but what do you know, Mr. Bad Kid himself got SO into it. First of all I asked them “we’re gonna play a trivia game. Who knows what is triva?” and when I asked this in the other classes no one knew, but Ryota jumps up and “demonstrates” smashing a buzzer button, making a buzzer sound. And I’m like “yeah, that’s right!” So we play the game and he’s SO into it… and even answered some of the questions correctly. lol. Actually his team won (not because of him, but still) so he finally got a sticker he earned, for once, haha…

2nd period was 2-2 and at the beginning of the class, Yuichiro was sitting with his earthquake pillow over his head, mumbling “I am a pumpkin” in English… wtf. Class went well. Can’t remember too much of it now though.

3rd period was 3-3 and it went really well. I always forget how good a class this is since somehow I don’t see them that often. I spent most of the time dicking around with Kaho and Tomoya in the back of the class… they were really entertaining. When I was talking to Kaho, I peered at her eyes and went “heeeey…. are you wearing contacts?” and she looks at me with a clueless look so I go “colorcon!” and she gives me this sudden look of shock and anger and brings a finger to her lips and goes “secret!!!!” lol. Like, who would I tell? Actually, I was surprised cuz it really wasn’t obvious at all. Afterwards we kept harassing Tomoya and calling him “tomochan” and he kept saying (in English) “please call me Tomoya” and Kaho was pissing herself and she asked me if I was in love with him.  I said yes, cuz he’s sooooo cuuuute, and she just wouldn’t stop laughing and he was super embarrassed. Also he wrote “I want to kill you with a sword” on her paper, in cursives… I was like “wtf?! And how do you know how to write in cursives???” at the end of the class, he asked me to explain to him what “damn it!” meant. lol. where does he find these words?!

Oh and also, one of them had written “Geromu” in katakana on Hiromu’s desk, and at first I thought it was Ke and not Ge so I asked “why Keromu” and they go “no. Ge. Gero”. and I’m like “Gero… oh!” and burst out laughing, which cracked them up. Gero means “puke” in Japanese…

Finally 5th period was with 1-5. When I showed up on their floor, there was apparently some kind of mess going on, with some of the teachers directing the kids into wiping the floor next to the sinks… they kinda finished as I made my way through and I heard voices behind me go “masaka… go kumi?” (basically, “can it be? she’s going to group 5?!” and I heard them and raised my hand showing five fingers and they all ran at me from behind going “yaaaaaay!!” and they all attacked me with high-fives. lol. Cutest thing ever. When I walked into the classroom there was more cheering and I went “I love you guys! you always cheer when I come!” then this group of kids at the front where talking and pointing at me and all I caught was “dekai” which means “really big” and I asked them what they were talking about, and it was my earrings. Apparently they were baffled by the size of them (which is funny cuz I wear them almost every day… it’s not the first time they’ve seen me with them) so I said “big? No way! These are my work earrings. I wear even bigger ones on the weekend!!”  I don’t think they believed me…

Speaking of which, I believe it’s time to go!

1 comment:

  1. "they cheered when I walked in"
    What a proud moment for a teacher! They love you! :-)