cute, funny, retarded, perverted, weird and generally entertaining things my students tell me on a daily basis.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Week of January 23rd to 27th

Aaah, please forgive me for skipping last week. When my schedule is so packed like it’s been recently (and will be for the rest of the year, from the looks of it), I don’t have time to sit down and write what happened in each class, and after so many classes, it just flies right out of my head. もしあけございません~


First period was with 1-6, which I had just last Friday. As I walked into the classroom, Hiroki (tiny, really genki little boy) ran up to me and went “sushi sticker??!” That’s his thing. See, one time, I bought some sushi stickers from LOFT to give away as prizes, and when they ran out, all hell came loose as apparently, they were such a huge hit. I went back to the store to get more, but they were out that time, to the great disappointment of the kiddies. Then I went again in December, and lo-and-behold, sushi stickers! So I bought like 2 packs. But now, every time I walk into the class, that one kid always jumps on me to ask if I have sushi stickers, and every time I say “yes” and he goes “yosh!!” lol. Cutest thing ever. I swear to god, he’s not even 3 feet tall… He’s so tiny… But anyways, I didn’t really get to do a game with the kids today cuz Yuka wanted them to do a writing activity, but she made me do a time killer game while she went to photocopy the papers. It was over in 5 minutes and when Yuka started talking, Hiroki went “Vanessa Game owatta? sushi sutikaaaaaaa….” with this super sad face… lol. Aww.

Then the next period was 2-4, which was rather uneventful. Something was wrong with Masaya… I think he may be sick cuz he was absent last week, and now he had huuuuge bags under his eyes. He couldn’t even muster up the strength to insult me. Poor thing. Then we played the pokemon game, which was a huge hit, even with the “I’m too cool for school” little clique that sits at the back. Win.

3rd period was regular English with 3-1, and we had to do a writing activity and something from their textbook, but it actually went quite well. Minami (who now sits right at the front by the teacher’s desk) was super awake (really rare) and trying really hard to guess the answers. I also had a fun little chat with Nami and Seiya at the back, about if it was my real hair and eye colors (you would think this would get old, right? but no…) and I even managed to make Seiya write his paper!!! I think I’m growing on him! And then I had pretty much a repeat of the hair conversation with Yuka and Nichika while I was trying to get him to write… Yuka kept petting my hair and saying it was soft, and Nichika was like “really? Isn’t it damaged?” lol! And she goes “no, here!” and he starts petting my hair too and goes “honta da!” … gotta love how educational my English lessons are, eh? :p But actually, I was quite pleased because everyone (minus Nichika…) managed to finish before the bell, AND wrote quite a decent amount of sentences! This never happens! They usually always try to just half-ass it, saying it’s too hard or just not bothering… so I’d say this was a success!!

Ok, I’m grading the Hairspray papers now, and a bunch of kids in 3-3 wrote “very very international!” in the comments… wtf?! I’m not sure exactly what they meant by that… Actually, it wasn’t very international, cuz it was only black and white people in it… no Asians, no Indians, no anything else… I think someone *coughJTEcough* must have fed them the word, but they’re not using it correctly….


First period was 1-7, which started off on the wrong foot as Aoshima-sensei promptly announced that he wanted to switch Wednesday’s 4th period class (note, a day where I only have 3, nicely spread out classes) to next Monday 4th period. I was pretty cranky cuz I already have periods 1-2-3 on Monday, which means I’ll have to teach the whole morning without breaks and I hate that. On top of it he was like “I have already checked your schedule and I know you’re not teaching this period”. What was I gonna say? No? blergh. Plus, it means I’ll see that one class twice in the same week. meh, whatever. Class itself went fine though, spent most of it making faces at Ryunosuke. :p

2nd period was regular English with 3-5 and it was pretty boring. Ryohei was sleeping on his desk and I kept having to poke him awake.

5th period was 3-2, regular English, and just before class started, Daisuke ran over and proudly showed me this one page from his juku English textbook that was basically all English. He went “look, look! long, long!” so I asked “can you understand everything?” and he gave me a huge grin with a super confident “yes!” before running back to his seat. lol. Class went fine, chatted a bit with Dan and Kota as usual, and Dan kept dicking around. He kept turning in his chair to talk with the chubby kid behind him. At one point when I was walking over, he pointed to that boy and went “crying”, and I asked “why is he crying? Did you make him cry?” and after a bit of rewording he went “yes!” and then thinking super hard to form the sentence correctly “I make… no… made he… him, cry” with a huge smile. lol. Oh and Kota wrote at the end of his mini-essay “I want to go to X high school to study Japanese history more”. I was kinda impressed so I asked “oh really?” and he waved his hand at me and grinned “no.” and then in Japanese, “but it sounds nice, don’t you think?” LOL! little smart ass…. :p

Then just now, I ran into those two again, along with Kazuma, who were huddled in front of the nurse’s office, NOT cleaning (it was cleaning time) so I went to chide them a little and Kazuma was like “HEY!” waving a hand at me. I saw that he had this hokkairo with stuff written on it so I wanted him to give it to me but he refused. Then he made me janken for it and I lost. So I left. To the sound of their giggles. It kinda cracks me up though that Kazuma seems to really like me. He hates school, and hates English, and is always bumming around, but every time he sees me in the hall he always says hi, and if I’m talking to his friends he always tries to butt-in and make them translate for him. lol.


So. Aoshima-sensei apparently has a gift for pissing me off first thing in the morning. Today is the day when he told me 4th period was cancelled to switch it to next Monday, so when I came in, I was expecting having only my two morning classes, and that was actually fine by me since I’m recovering from a migraine that isn’t completely gone… but no… When I walked into class this morning, he came up to me and went “sorry. I made a mistake. The cancelled class is next week. So please come 4th period.” urgh! Will you fucking stop messing with my head please?? And if you must, can’t you at least have the decency to tell me before I walk into the classroom? I saw him in the staffroom this morning when I arrived and he said nothing to me. Anyways, it’s just common sense, no? I guess not. *sigh*

But anyhow, class with 1-1 went well. The kids where really into the second game, which involved asking other team members original questions. Now this is a game that can BOMB horribly if it’s played in a weak/quiet class, but I was happy it worked so well with them. In one team, I walked by while one kid was trying to think of a “do you like~” question, so I said “do you like me?” (as in, replace ’me’ with the kid’s name, not mine) and they all cracked up when he did and the other kid said no. But then, I stuck around a bit and they were all asking each other “do you like so-and-so?” using names of friends in the class. lol. I’d unleashed a monster.

After that I had class with 2-1, who were surprisingly well-behaved, but that could just be because there were about 6 kids absent from class cuz of influenza, although all my biggest brats were still there. Mostly I was just dicking around with Wataru at the back of the class. At one time, Shigeki-sensei asked the kids to answer “who is the xx-est in your family questions” and I asked Wataru “who is the cutest in your family? you?” and he went “no! no! no!” lol. and then Nanase, a girl in front of him in the next row pointed to him and said “he is bocchan!” and they all started laughing and he was denying it vehemently. I had to ask cuz I didn’t know what it meant and apparently it means “rich kid”, then Yuki (the kid in front) turned around, pointed to another kid at the back of the class and went “he is bouzu-chan” and we all cracked up. Indeed, it was one of the baseball club kids with really close-cropped hair.

4th period with 1-3 was the same lesson as 1-1, except way more boring… As expected, when I walked by Dinosaur-boy’s table when they were playing the game, he was asking another kid “are you a dinosaur?” lol.

Aaah… apparently there’s another one of those demo classes things going on this afternoon… and I know because Yabe sensei just went “don’t you go?” at me just now. “Go where?” and he said “Mr. Mizushima’s special teaching” and I went “aaaaaah… no” honestly, I have a crapload of things to do this afternoon, but even if I didn’t I would still not go unless Mizushima-sensei had personally asked me to, which he didn’t. Butt-out.


1st period was 1-2 with Yuka, which went fine except that this one kid, Ryouya (I think?) was just being a little dick… I dunno why this kid hates me, and it hurts all the more because his two older brothers are/were some of my favorite students of all time! Tetsuya, now in 2nd grade is always super genki and always has a ready smile and wave for me when he sees me in the hallway, and now 1st year of high school Tatsuya was one of my original “pervs”. No more needs to be said. But this kid, no matter what I do, he just gets this “get away from me!” look on his face when I come over, like I’m a bug or a dirty sock or something. It’s really frustrating!!

4th period was supposed to be 2-3, but apparently there was a change to their schedule (only their class) between 4th and 6th period. Sadly for them, I already have another class that I can’t miss during 6th period. They were really cute though, Daiyu and a bunch of them came to huddle around me, trying to explain that the schedule had changed and where all disappointed “aaaaah”’s when I said I couldn’t come 6th period. aww…

5th period was with 1-4 and it was really funny, but now I can’t remember any particular details cuz I’m too tired… sadness. It was followed by 6th period with 3-6, which was pretty good too. Seiya had “drawn” a Mt. Fuji on his desk, made out of staples and tape… wtf… and then this cute little girl at the front (Honoka, I think) was like “Vanessa do you have a boyfriend?” and I started saying yes, then went “oh shit” in my head and was kinda shaking it no, but I could see in her face that I was busted. She wanted to know all about him but I told her to ask me after class. She went “me, no…. sabishii…” and this one boy behind her (Yuta? Jumpei? I forgot… I just call him “floppy hair boy” in my head…) he said something and I asked “you’re sabishii too?” and they all went “no no no! very happy! he has girlfriend!” lol. and he kept trying to shush them, going “secret!” Then later on I made things worse by going over and trying to help him write his paper. The topic was “my best memory from junior high school” and he couldn’t pick anything and I said “my best memory is when I met my girlfriend…” and he went “no! no! no!” while Honoka went “yes!! choou ii jan!” and even though he was wearing a sick-mask, you could totally tell that his face was aaaall red. lol. Poor kid. Then he mumbled something to the extent that the other two were too romantic… lol.


This morning is the very evilest of days out of my schedule. I have periods 1 through 5 all in a row. I really wanna punch the dumb fucker who had THAT brilliant idea… luckily, it doesn’t happen very often that I have all 5 classes… there’s usually a schedule change, or Mizushima-sensei will cancel his class, but unluckily… I had all 5 today. gah!

And to start things off… my favorite… 3-4! Well actually, I suppose it was kinda better off having them first, than last before lunch, when I would be tired and they would be hyper. It went alright, considering… Just before class I ran into Daisuke and he was like “HAHA! Crazy!” pointing at me and laughing, and I asked “why are you laughing at me?” and he went “what?” so I explained “laughing. hahaha!” and he went “aaaah!! because I’m happy!” lol. and he went off. Kid is just too cute. Yesterday I ran into him in the hall and he told me – in English – that he was gonna try the entrance test for one of the really good public high schools near here. I was impressed and wished him luck!

2nd period was 2-2, followed by 3-3 where Kodai tried to cheat on the test and Hiroko wrote that her best high school memory was meeting Winnie the pooh, who is actually a member of the soccer club… Ryota spent most of the class looking up dumb words (like “stinky” or “dirty”) in his new English dictionary, and ended up writing that his best memory of JHS were Shunta’s eyebrows. lol. The kid has a big giant uni-brow, basically… Anyways, 3-3 was fun, I guess. I called Miho by her sister’s name (they look the same and names are almost the same…) and dicked around with Tomoya’s glasses. In a word, a usual 3-3 class :p

4th period was 2-5, which I hadn’t seen in a really long time (since Mizushima-sensei keeps cancelling his classes… actually, I haven’t seen 2-6 since last November, I kid you not) and they got really into the pokemon game. Even totally cheated and gave Atsuya (kinda slow, baby yanki kid who doesn’t understand ANYTHING) really strong cards and he still managed to lose. lol.

5th period was 1-5 aaaaaaaaand, I can’t remember.


  1. Holy crap, I didn't think being a teacher was this eventful. I wouldn't even remember what went on during the day because I don't even want to think about it. But so cuteeeeeeeee! I used to teach preschoolers but it was a private lesson so I could do things however I wanted to. but ahh you have a lot of classes to deal with. ><

  2. The kids are so cute! :-D
    But what's going on with your migraines!? Sucks to get those, I know what I'm talking about...
    How come teachers can just cancel your lesson with them? I mean... isn't that just stupid? :-P

  3. @moni, yeah! it's busy! lol.

    @michelle, yeah, migraines suck... T_T i'm just really prone to them, and headaches, dunno why... in fact, i have one right now (headache)...

    some teachers think that ALT lessons is just "fun time" and it interferes with their serious "textbook teaching time" and "we must study for the test!" and that sort of thing, which is really stupid, so that's why they cancel our lessons, usually.

  4. Hey I just found you blog and just randomly read some posts till now :) I really like it! I want to find out more about your work because I want to be an english teacher in japan as well :)

    Do you teach at a regular japanese school?

  5. I work in a public Junior High Shool, so yes, a normal school. i teach grades 1-2-3 (which i often refer to as "ichinensei", "ninensei" or "sannensei") which is basically grades 7 to 9, ages 12 to 15. I've got a pretty normal ALT gig, I think... except i'm lucky cuz my school isn't really a trouble school, and the staff is pretty easygoing.

    if you have more questions, you can always leave me your email and i'd be happy to answer you privately ^_-