cute, funny, retarded, perverted, weird and generally entertaining things my students tell me on a daily basis.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Week of October 31st to November 4th


First period was 1-7 and it went quite well. They cheered a bit when I walked in but I think they’re doing it just to copy 1-5… Before class started, Ryunosuke looked at me, and he was looking at my hair and went “hmmm…. maybe I should dye my hair blonde too…” in Japanese. That was so fucking random. He’s a big tall kid with a buzz cut. lol.

Ran into Daisuke on my way to my second class and he basically ran at me going “Vanessa, Vanessa!!” and I assumed he wanted to tell me that he won at the chorus contest so I cut him off going “I know, I know, you won.” and that completely threw him off and he looked really confused, so I thought maybe he wanted to say something else after all and said “oh, ok, what is it” but then he just proceeded to tell me his class had won. In English. He is so cute because these days he keeps running at me anytime he sees me in the school and trying his hardest to tell me stuff in English. He’s trying really hard!

2nd period was sentaku English with 3-3 and it went super well. They were genki and participative the whole time, laughing at my jokes and all that jazz… those are the best lessons. This one boy who was sitting at the front of the second row on the right kept getting “bullied” by the girls around him (the one behind and the one next to him), they were tickling him and/or poking him, but like, constantly for the whole class. I kept saying “stop bullying him” and “kawaiisou” (you poor thing) at him, and they just laughed… so at the end of class I randomly gave him a sticker because I said I felt sorry for him. He was all pleased with himself and put it on his name card. Hiroko was all shocked and kept saying “sekoi!” so I asked her what it meant cuz I didn’t know, and she pulled out her electric dictionary. Apparently it means “cunning” or “crafty”. Basically she was saying that the kid was putting on a show so I would feel bad for him… lol.

3rd period was the same lesson with 3-6. they also had a good reaction but they were kinda bratty/noisy, and I had to shush them several times… also Masamitsu doesn’t like me anymore… he kept making little shooing gestures at me when I came near him… grr… and yet, he was kinda following along the class, commenting on various things. I dunno what’s his deal. pooh. Maybe he didn’t like me saying his hair looked like Dragon Ball this morning (I swear, it was like all spikey!! lol)

Daisuke and Imari ambushed me in the hallway and were just chatting at me excitedly, Imari was trying to ask me for candy, and Daisuke was trying to explain to me in English that he was going to AEON with his gf on Thursday (isn’t he so freakin’ cute??) and they were both tripping over themselves to get my attention and these two girls who were walking arm-in-arm behind me and watching the whole thing were like “nampa sareta naaa…” (basically saying the two boys were trying to “pick me up” lol). When they finally managed to get their stuff out, I told Daisuke he was a good boyfriend and he grinned from ear to ear, and I told Imari I didn’t have candy because I was poor this year. Daisuke laughed and told me – I swear to god – “too many accessories!” LOL!! These kids know me too well….


First period was 2-2, followed by 2-1 and they both went well but kinda whirlwindy so I forgot if anything really funny happened there. same with 3-2, except that it went really well and I had a pretty long chat with Dan and Kota, where Dan said he wanted to go study abroad in Canada, and that he had friends in Canada, and then I heard Kota mumble at him in Japanese “they’re not friends!” lol. I wonder if he has some little Canadian internet girlfriends or something?? That would explain why these two cool boys like English so much…

3-1 was entertaining to say the least. I think this class could have gone badly, but the tv saved the day so their attention was up the whole time. First weird thing was that when I walked in to class, Ikuto (the weird kid) came over and went “Vaneeeeeessaaaaaaa….” and just stood next to me and gave my arm a few little squeezes. Like he’s squeezing my arm fat and he likes it… did I mention the kid is weird? He did that to me last Friday as well, at the chorus contest. wtf…

Anyhow, another funny thing was this whole going way off topic for like 5 minutes while the kids were telling Shigeki-sensei that Aoshima-sensei wore a wig/toupet, and Shigeki-sensei didn’t know and the kids were just pissing themselves and they were like “you should ask him!” so of course he said “well I’m not gonna ask him that!” and then they went on “you should go to the onsen together! take him to the sento!” lol… This came about cuz I was teaching them the meaning of the word “shine” and someone brought about this one teacher who’s completely bald, and thus has a very shiny head…

Then after the bell rang, I was walking in the hallway and I’d just run into Yuka (the teacher) and was chatting with her when Minami ran out of the classroom shouting “Vanessa! kondou, asobou!” (it means “let’s play next time”, but basically “let’s hang out together” ) lol. A bunch of the guys laughed at her and went “you can’t say that to a teacher?” and Yuka was laughing, but I just said “sure, let’s go karaoke!” and she got super excited going “Really?! ok ok! Next Sunday!!”  Hum… not sure what I’ve gotten myself into here… but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t mind going karaoke with Minami so…

After school I went to the department store near my house to meet up with a friend for dinner, and I ended up running into two sets of graduated students! The first pair were both mine, and I couldn’t remember their names or if they had graduated one or two years ago, cuz I suck. One of them asked me “do you remember me?” and I said “of course honey! I don’t remember your name cuz I’m a bad teacher, but I remember your face!” and she said “yokatta!”  Cuteness. Then I swear like 10 seconds after I’d left them, I ran into one of my favorite kids from last year, Yuna who basically attacked me with a hug. She was with a friend from her new school, a super-tiny shy girl who seemed really well behaved and impressed by our relationship. I asked her Yuna if she was still dating Yuu and she went “No!! He was so bad!!” lol.


First class was 1-1… before class started, I was chatting with the group of boys near the window and one of them, Raimu, asked me in Japanese if I’d ever baked bread. It took me a while to get what he was asking because he was saying “pan tsukutta koto aru?” and I was hearing “pantsu”, which means underwear in Japanese, because he was speaking so fast, so I kept going “huh?!”  Anyways, I said no, and he went “whaaat?! When we were in elementary school, I asked you and you said you had!” Kid, how do you remember that? I can’t remember at all… also I possibly didn’t understand anything you were asking back then since I couldn’t speak Japanese very well… then he launched into a story (to these two other boys) about how I was in love with Kaisei. lol. (One of the other boys in that class) and I nodded, made a heart sign with my hands which cracked them both up. Then I went on explaining that it’s a joke, because when they were in grade 5, a lot of girls in his class were in love with Kaisei, so I said I was part of the Kaisei fan club too (he’s the only kid whose name I ever remembered from elementary school btw). The two boys went “majika?!” (no way!) and then, exactly at the same time, they both shouted Kaisei’s name really loud, on this super funny tone. lol. It was really really funny, though I guess you had to be there.

1-3 during the 3rd period went better than usual… I was teasing that kid with the huge playboy smile and his little friend and they were totally into it. Then I went to 1-2 straight away because I didn’t wanna go down the stairs and all the way back up, and I swear, someone gave those kids sugar just before because they were completely nuts during the WHOLE break time! This one boy in the back, Kengo, was being “bullied” by about 3 different girls, and it was kinda hilarious. First of all, boys and girls don’t really mix in Japanese schools normally, nevermind touch, or participate in this kind of friendly bullying. These girls were all up on them! Climbing their backs, pushing them (oh yeah, there was another boy who got bullied a bit, but mostly just Kengo), ruffling their hair… when I showed up, Yuri – the girl next to him – was petting Kengo’s hair quite violently and he was laughing and squealing at the same time. lol. I walked in behind her and put my hand in his hair and started doing the same thing, and all the girls were giggling and Yuri told him “I’m not doing it!” so he looked up and went “ooh! bikkurishita!!” and everyone laughed. The second I stopped they got back to it and he started squirming “sensei! help me!!” so I went back over and I was like “sekuhara!” (you’re sexually harassing him!) and they just laughed and he went “yes! yes! sekuhara! stop!” in English… Anyways, they kept at it for nearly the WHOLE break… at one point I had to make a wall around the kid with my arms so she would leave him alone… lol.

The rest of the class with them was also really fun, but they were still so fucking hyper… even Yuka told me at the end “I’m sorry, this class is so crazy!” lol. It’s her homeroom actually, haha…. well, I’d rather crazy kids to zombie kids any day of the week….


Today was a holiday. Japan has a lot of these random middle-of-the-week holidays… back home, when a holiday falls on a weekday, it just gets relegated to the nearest Monday or Friday, here, such rationale is apparently inexistent, thus middle-of-the-week randomness. There’s another one coming in about 3 weeks or so. wtf.


Veeeeeeeeery sleepy today…. thank god it’s a slow day. First period was 1-6 with Yuka, and when I showed up she was like “I need to just do grammar today, so if you wanna just go do your work in the staffroom, it’s ok”. I said I would stay, cuz the kids had already seen me and they get really confused if I show up and then leave, but figured I would bail the next one. A funny thing that happened was that, during the aisatsu, Yuka went “good morning everyone!” and the kids have to answer “good morning miss Shoji and Vanessa” and then one of the kids said “see you!” instead of good morning, to me, and after a few giggles I was like “eh? see you? ok, bye bye!” and I walked out of the classroom while everybody laughed. Yuka made the kid apologize and he was like “so-ri!” Awww… Other than that nothing too exciting happened except for the fact that this one kid Yuuya kept being a brat at the back of the class :p

Oh and, everybody is digging my blindingly bright pink shirt today, apparently… the school nurse just stopped me near the sink in the staffroom to tell me that my shirt’s color was “sugoi, kirei!” (that was random) and earlier I ran into Dan and Kota and one of them (who can remember, eh? it’s like they’re one entity…) said to me in English “oh! nice shirt today!” lol. gotta love that they are trying to impress me by trying so hard to speak English. and then, in the afternoon, the head teacher just kinda stop next to my desk and went “wow! nice color!” while I’m thinking like “dude, I’ve been wearing this shirt all day… you’ve just noticed??”

And on that note, my bed is calling. toodles.

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