cute, funny, retarded, perverted, weird and generally entertaining things my students tell me on a daily basis.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Week of September 12th to 16th


1st period was with 1-7. They cheered a bit when I walked in the class cuz I think they weren’t expecting me. Eitaro and that kid with the bouzu haircut who’s kind of a brat were being SUPER excited! and I was like “it’s Monday, you guys… what the fuck?” lol, but they were so cheerful and cute it really made me smile. Eitaro was like “are we playing a game today?” super expectantly and I’m like “yes” and he goes “yaaaaay!!”. *squeeeee!* class went alright. They’re not up to the grammar point of the game that I prepared (for Yuka’s class) so I half-assed some other game last minute, but they liked it, so ^_-

Then was sentaku with 3-3, first time since summer vacation so we did the Katy Perry song. It went well and some of the girls were trying to tell me that I looked like I lost weight at the beginning of the class, which made me super happy, eheh. I said I wanna lose more and they were like “gambatte! fight-o!” lol. Oh, and during the break before class, Dan and Kota from 3-2 were lurking in the doorway and trying to chat with me, and Kota asked which class I was going to, and I said 3, and he asked “don’t you have class with us today?” and I’m like “no…. are you sad?” and out of nowhere busts out Daisuke, huge token grin on his face, and he goes “no! very very happy!” and I’m laughing and say “cuz you don’t like me right?” and he goes “so!” while the other boys are trying to protest that it’s not true, they love Vanessa. lol. I left them to it cuz class was gonna start.

3rd period was the same lesson with 3-6, first time again. Two more girls told me that there was “something different about me today” and asked if I lost weight. Now it’s either this outfit, or I really have lost enough weight to show! yay! Class went well too, I’m kinda surprised. Masamitsu was there (with dyed hair! shokku… it was only a tiny bit brown, but it is the seeds of a bad-boy, I’m telling you) and kept dicking around with Taisei, but surprisingly did the lesson work the whole time. Jumpei kept getting up trying to get stickers when he didn’t get a perfect score, and Taisei was like “aww… I think I’ll give me sticker to Jumpei, poor thing”. lol. (He didn’t) At the end of class, Mizushima-sensei told the kids they should check her videos on youtube, and I added (to try and entice them) that some of them were a little bit sexy so I couldn’t show them in class, and he translated that to the kids as being “chotto ecchi” :/   Only in Japan, man… only in Japan…


5 classes today… I will possibly die…

1st period with 2-2 went well. Very sleepy. Ayaka asked me if I’d bought Alice Nine’s new cd yet… lol, and I had a conversation with the “twins” from 2-1, I told them they don’t look like twins anymore (cuz one of them cut her hair and stopped wearing glasses) and she was like “eeeh…! You’re telling me I looked like her?! You’re insulting me!” lol. that pair reminds me of a duo of stand-up comics… they’re hilarious!

In 2-1, they were especially well-behaved today… well except for Ayumu who kept pulling his (freakishly long) tongue at me, and his little friend Adachi next to him who couldn’t stand still… Ayumu had totally gelled up his hair this morning (it was standing up and was hard if I touched it) and when I asked him about it he was like “No! No gel! No wax!” yeah sure, bucko… At the end of the class, we were playing bingo and there was about 1 minute left but we’d finished all “5 chances” and Rei was like “lasto! one more!” and I was like “no, no…” and they kept asking and so I told them “maybe if you beg me…” and so the teacher translated “beg” and they were like “onegai! please!” and I’m like “no, no, you gotta get on your knees” and he went “eeeh!!” like he wasn’t gonna do it, and the whole class laughed. In the the end, Ayumu got up from his seat and came to kneel down in front of me to ask “please, one more!” and I just laughed and said ok. mwahaha…

On the way back to the staffroom, I ran into Daisuke who was like “oh no, we have sentaku later!” and his friends are like “why is he saying that?” (in Japanese) so I say it’s because Daisuke doesn’t like me and one of them goes “he crazy boy”. Then, Imari came up and (noticing my pigtails) went “Vanessa mata ime-change?” (you changed your image again?) and so I said “yes! everyday ime-change!” and he nodded thoughtfully and mumbled to his friend “I wonder what it’s gonna be like tomorrow..” lol!

2-3 went well, they went a bit crazy at the end of the game though, but in a good way. Basically they had to ask the same question to 11 people and then I would give a sticker to the first 10 people to finish… but! they had to have no mistakes on their paper… Now, every single person had at least ONE tiny little mistake so I’d make them go back to correct it, and it turned into a contest of who was gonna have a perfect paper and get the sticker. lol. Every time I would go “spelling mistake!” or “listened-ED!” or “it’s not basketbool” the whole class would just go up in a collective “oooh!” and cheer… lol.

4th period was 3-2. They were really less than enthusiastic about the song, Dan and Kota were absent, and Daisuke spent the whole time making little disses at me. Then he was like “please give me sticker!” and I was like “no way! you keep saying bad things to me!” and he kept on “please please!” so I said “ok, you have to say “Vanessa, I love you!”” and he went “nooooo!!”. lol. Anyways, we carried on, and then later on, he waves me over and tries to explain that he CAN’T say that, can I please make him say something else. and by that point of course I’ve figured out that the girl sitting next to him (Ayano) is his girlfriend and so I asked “oh, you don’t love me… do you love her?” and he super confidently answered “YES!” while she went “no, no, no…” and he went “eeeeh?!” to her. Seriously. Cutest thing ever. He still didn’t get a sticker though.

6th period was sentaku with 3-1, and mostly it was just Shigeki-sensei dicking around with the students. I figured it was completely pointless to try and stop him from translating everything I say (even though it’s a listening activity… :/ ) so I just let him prattle on… My usual little posse was genki as usual, but a bunch of kids were nodding off and Seiya was just being useless not doing anything and I went over a bunch of times to try and coax him to work but it didn’t really work. One time I was pointing at the song lyrics as they went to try and get him to follow, and he saw my nails and went “sugoi tsume!” and then he tried to get everyone near him to look at my nails and then giggled to himself “nanka, gyaru-teki na~” (it looks really gyaru) which gave me an inner giggle myself. At the end of class there were about 7 minutes left and Shigeki gave them “free time” and Minami used it to distribute some home-made (with tin foil) daggers for their cheering dance for the sports festival. “We are pirates!” she told me. So of course I stole one and started play-fighting with Kouki. :p I asked them who had designed their dance and they said Nichika and Minami, and then she added that they were also gonna do a dance performance at the chorus contest. Which lead to the next question “Vanessa, are you gonna sing this year?” I said I didn’t know, but I’m pretty sure I won’t since I haven’t been asked and it would be too last minute for now, I guess. The last two years, I sang (one time a whole song, and one time just a one line solo) but the kids basically go crazy when I do and treat me like a rock star for the next two weeks. Honestly, the attention-whore in me wishes I could, but it’s kind of a bother as well…


Aaah, I forgot to write today… everything went fine. Had 3 classes and a really busy afternoon planning my Lady Gaga lessons for tomorrow… The only funny bits were Imari popping in when I was getting coffee and going “mata ime-change?” with a cute little grin, and two little 1st year girls going “oshare, Vanessa” as I walked out of school, putting my sunglasses on. Then they went “bye bye, oshare Vanessa!” waving me away. Cutest thing ever. (“oshare” means trendy or fashionable)


Get ready for a looooong day! 5 classes! God, I hate this fucking constant A-week schedule!!!

1st period with 3-5… yaaay! My Lady Gaga lesson went down really well! ^_^ Well, that’s to be expected, but with these kiddies, you never know… The funniest part was definitely Shigeki-sensei perving over the half-naked pictures of miss G. Now he is going on and on to the other English teacher about how it’s the best song he’s ever heard… lol.

3rd period was 2-4 and Shigeki-sensei ran way over his time, so mostly I just stood at the back of the class discussing various pointless things with Masaya. He wasn’t being too much of a dick today. I told him him he had really big eyebrows, and then he launched into this speech about how his eyelashes were too long, and it really wasn’t cool for a boy to have long eyelashes… lol.

4th period with 3-4 SUCKED. Mizushima-sensei spent the first 10 minutes of class trying to fix one of the fans (and failed) and I couldn’t start the lesson before he was done because of course all the kids were staring at him. They enjoyed the song, but most of them didn’t even try to follow the words, which pissed me off. Ryota was making a show of himself at the back of the class, dancing along to the music, which was both hilarious and infuriating. I told him that he should come and dance for us at the front of the class and he was like “no, no, no!” and stopped… for like 20 seconds.

5th period was 1-5… these kids are really good and the vibe of the class is so nice… when I walked in, Akane and the girl in front of her where going “Vanessa kawaii! cute! cute! very cute!” and then they tried to get the boy in front, Mao, to say that I was very cute and he got super embarrassed which was so funny. Then, Aoshima-sensei walked into the class during the silent minute (mokuso) and there was this stray bits of hair that was standing straight on his head, and I tried to tell him before the kids opened their eyes, but then the bell rang and I couldn’t. of course, as soon as they opened their eyes, they all noticed it and started giggling, which means that of course I started giggling too and then couldn’t even look at him, I had to walk off a bit or I would burst into uncontrollable giggles. See, the thing that makes it even funnier is that he wears a toupet, so… lol. I think he must’ve heard one of the kids say what was wrong though because the next time I turned around, his hair was back in order. eheh…

Last period of the day was 2-6, my first time with them in ages. Went great of course, this kid Yuya kept stealing these shy glances at me and then smiling. He is too cute. The funny thing is that he used to be a BRAT in first year… now he apparently has a crush on me. He also used to wear glasses and now has contacts… coincidence? Another funny thing, although it’s not something that happened, but just something that noticed. This other boy (I forgot his name) used to have these big giant chubby cheeks, and now, he came back from summer vacation and they’re gone! His face completely smoothed out and he is starting to look like a young man! It’s hilarious because it’s hugely noticeable since I haven’t seen him in nearly 2 months… aaaah! My babies are growing up!!

Also, on my way out, I ran into the radio kids and Imari was like “bye bye Vanessa!” and I so I said bye and asked him “today, ime-change?” and he paused, looked me up and down and went “no ime-change”. lol!


First period and second period with 1-6 and 1-4 went fine but nothing too entertaining happened, and I was soooo sleepy.

During the break I ran into Daisuke on the stairs, and he stopped, waved me over and went “saigo no kyoku…. last song… high standard” and he’s gesturing with his hands above his head. “like, like!” and it was kinda confusing, but I basically understood that he was trying to tell me that he’d liked the last song we did in class together (Adele). I thought it was cute because at the end of the class, when I asked the kids if they liked the song, he went “no! Avril Lavigne only!” and I scolded him telling him he was looking at the world with blinders on and he was like “no! Looking only one way is ok!! Avril Lavigne only!!” lol. cutey pie.

Then, like 5 minutes before the end of the break, Mizushima-sensei came to ask me if it was okay to do one of the music lessons with 2-5 (it’s his homeroom class) and I said sure and prepped the Justin Bieber lesson since it’s the easiest. The English level mostly went way over their heads (as expected) but they’re a good class so they did well, and everybody liked the song. Well, except for Atsuya who was just kinda sitting there twiddling his pencil, looking like a deer in headlights whenever I said anything in English… lol.


  1. **he nodded thoughtfully and mumbled to his friend “I wonder what it’s gonna be like tomorrow..”**

    Hahaha that's the cutest thing ever! I would only ever expect a japanese kid to say something like that!!

    What age range do you teach, if I may ask? I'm just curious!

  2. well he said that in Japanese... so i dunno if you were impressed by the english level... lol.

    Imari is sooooo adorable! i love him!^_^
    he's third grade so about 15y.o.

    i teach japanese JHS, which is 3 years, so i got kids ranging from 12 to 15y.o. it's funny cuz it's the years in which they change the most! so when they come in they are so LITTLE! like elementary school kids still, and then when they leave in 3rd grade they look almost like adults.

  3. "I told them they don’t look like twins anymore"

    I would have thought, they did it on purpose. You know, for fun. ^^ Oh well.

    When does school start? Is it bright and early then?