cute, funny, retarded, perverted, weird and generally entertaining things my students tell me on a daily basis.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Weekly Digest: week of April 18 to 22nd 2011


Real work starts today! but urgh… I showed up to school to find a “modified” version of my schedule, telling me to “please add” these two new classes to my B-Week schedule, that – oh – just happen to be on Friday afternoon and bring my daily total to 5 classes. In a row. FML. *sigh* that said, I’m just about to go have my first class with with new 1st years! Wish me luck!

Maaaaan… I am so dead. I forgot how hard it is to just even stand all day, haha… what a lazy slob I am. well, anyhow, I had class with 1-7 and can’t remember much about it other than Aoshima-sensei was late and I had to kinda improvise for the first 5 minutes, not knowing if he wanted me to teach this class and whatnot… it ended up being ok, and the kiddies were cute, and into it… then I had the sentaku intro class with 3-3, and then 3-6 and it was fun, if slightly boring and I can’t really remember much of that either… I do remember that Hiroko told me she didn’t like English and was bad at it and I looked at her with a big fucking question mark on my face like “huh?! You’re always coming to chat with me and trying so hard to speak English!!” I was really surprised.

On the way back to the staffroom, ran into Minami, who of course started chatting me up. I told her I was so tired and I felt like an “obasan” to which she went “no, no! young! young!” lol. And so I tried to explain to her I just felt tired LIKE an obasan and she left me by saying… “kyou wa, Monday, ne. Monday is obasan day. minna obasan”. lol. Love the Japanglish there.


Oh man, 4 of my 5 classes of the day are done and I’m sitting down for the first time. つかれた~ actually, a lot of really fun/interesting stuff happened, but since I had no break in between each class and spent the breaks dicking around with the kiddies in their classrooms, I forgot most of it. I’d forgotten how cute the old ichinensei are!!! The 2nd year classes, so far, are super fun. My 2nd class of the day, 2-1, was especially adorable. It’s like they took all the super cute mini-boys, who are 3 feet tall, with adorable baby faces, who look like they still belong in elementary school, and put them all in the same class. When I arrived during the break, one of these adorable creatures came up to me and went “good morning!” and then opened his new text book, looked at the model conversation and went (pointing at his friend) “This is Toshiki. He likes dog. He is a member of the track and field club…” TOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously. Oh, and Ayumu is in this class and he was being an (adorable/funny) little dick the whole time, and kept going “long time no see!!” at me (but like 10X in a row…) it was funny.

Byyyy the way. A little side note on Ayumu. There are several reasons why this kid is memorable. First off, his name is Ayumu. It’s a pretty uncommon name, and the only other person I’ve ever seen with it is that Men’s egg model guy, so it makes me giggle. Then, even though he is only like 3 feet tall, and most likely weighs under 50lbs, he has a super loud personality (and laugh!) and walks around with a little confident swagger, which is hilarious. Finally, he’s got a little twinkle in his eyes, and is always smiling and/or winking. Oh, oh! and he has a beauty mark under is eye!! (which I find really attractive on men… I hope it doesn’t make me sound like a pedo… but you get my point) Anyways, so in conclusion, as you can see, he’s most definitely gonna grow up to be a playboy and break a million hearts. lol. how could you not love him??

3rd period was fun too and 2-3 was a genki bunch as well. It had that one super genki kid from 1-6 (damn, I can’t remember his name… ends with –ki… also part of the 3-feet-tall club) and that super loud tall one. what’s his name? he has a weird name… anyways, little one made me try on his glasses (which were super delicate and pink… wtf Japan…) and then everyone ooohed and aaahed and said it was “chou niteru” (they really suit you) and so I went into a little shpiel about how I’ve got really bad eyesight and I wear contacts every day, and they all went “maji?!” and so I brought my eye like an inch away from little one’s face so he could see, and that made the other one smirk and go “wah! she’s really close to your face!”, causing #1 to blush, but then he went “ah! honto da! blue contacts da ne!” and I smacked my forehead, as I explained, for the millionth time that the contacts are clear, and my eyes are just that blue. Which brought on more “ooooh… sugeeee!!” Oh, and another random comment made by tall boy… when we were talking about how the glasses suited me, he said I’d probably look hot with black glasses, so I told him I had some, and then he giggled and muttered to his friend that black glasses are “eros”. That’s the Japanese word for “sexy, slutty, horny, pervy…” you get the idea. Dork. Gotta be careful! My cute little ichinensei boys are starting puberty!!!

Then 4th period was sentaku English with 3-2, and it was just the intro class with Mizushima-sensei and they had to chose which textbook they wanted to use (easy, standard or hard) and they took FOREVER, and then they were SO quiet, which was so weird. I was bored and tired while they were quietly doing that, so I sat down and drew a namecard that said “#1 crazy” for Daisuke. lol. I gave it to him later when he was trying to make his own. He didn’t think it was funny. haha. Well, not as funny as I thought it would be :p in the end, I helped him make his “real” name card too because somehow he couldn’t get it like he wanted. lol.

Okaaaay… that Ikuto kid, is officially the creepiest ever… he basically spent the whole class muttering, very loudly “Vanessa… sexy…” or other various comments portraying to me… and telling me that this other boy in class was in love with me… and when Shigeki-sensei was telling his stupid story about going to a European onsen and showing up naken when everybody else wore swimming wear, he exclaimed loudly “was Vanessa there??”. I kinda just ignore him, but it’s pretty creepy.  The whole class was pretty much just dicking about the whole time and I watched Nichika arm wrestling a few other boys, Nami confessed to me that she and Dan from 3-2 were now dating and was sending me giddy, knowing smiles for the whole rest of the class after that, and Minami chatted about my nose again. lol. She pulled up the bridge of her nose between her fingers and went “look, Vanessa nose” lol. Then she asked me if I’d had surgery. lol. Seriously!! Get over my damn nose!!! but anyways, at the end of the class we played this easy word game, where I would call out a topic and 5-6 kids would write as many words as they could on the board and whoever had the most correct ones would win… well, the last topic was “animals” and Minami wrote out the most words (she had like double anybody else) but they were almost all wrong!! She wrote out “hoosu” for horse, “labitti” for rabbit, “ziburu” for zebra… it was just hilarious. Poor darling took it in good form though and was like “don’t mind!” and laughing. After the bell rang, a bunch of them swarmed me to tell me their song requests for the next unit, and we ended up singing Ke$ha and Justin Bieber together for no reason at all… good times ^_-


Morning. I am SO sleepy today, it’s not even funny. Seems kinda abnormal… meh.

Today I had my first class with 1-1 and they were pretty cute. Raimu and Daiki from my old elementary school are in that class, so that possibly points to future mayhem. Ayaka’s brother (former 3nensei fangirl) is in that class, and omg, I recognized him in 5 SECONDS he looks just like her… There is also this one super cute kid, whom I’d run into in the stairwell last week and had told me his name was “Johnny”. lol. Well he (after trying to pull the Johnny crack again) admitted that his name was Soma –  future heartbreaker, and future favorite student of mine, most like. He kinda looks like one of the 2nensei boys, but when I asked him if he had an older brother, he said no. So that’s weird.

Had class with 1-3 at 3rd period but they were kinda disappointing and boring… then, it turned out that I did have class with Yuka-sensei for 4th period (there was something else written in the schedule) and I was cranky cuz we didn’t have time to finish my game cuz she made them do a stupid alphabet chant at the beginning. Also, I’m too sleepy today… I just want this day to end. *sigh* one thing I was surprised with though, is that she was REALLY strict with her kiddies! I wonder if that’s her approach, since she is so young (and short) to get kids to respect her… it seemed a little bit forced :p

Aaah, and we had natto for lunch. AGAIN!!! I just want to violently bludgeon the lunch lady with a pencil… we used to NEVER have natto with the old lunch lady… like, maybe once a year or something, it was super rare. This new girl has been here for 3 months and we’ve already had it like 4 times, I swear. Never mind that she tends to whip up really weird menus too… but natto once a month is just WRONG!!


Zombie again today. Except I’m not actually sleepy. I’m just kinda dazed and I don’t care. I ran late this morning cuz I stayed too long in the shower, and so I ran out of the house with my hair still wet and a half-assed outfit that really did nothing for me at all, but I had no time to change. Still, gotta love my kiddies, as they were still muttering behind my back that “Vanessa sensei is so kawaii”… aaah… bless them. Anyhoo, I had class with 3-5 with Shigeki sensei, and I pretty much did fuck all. I had them do their namecards for the whole 30 min that was allotted to me. Also, this class has like zero personality. I think last time when I was chatting with them in the hall, I must’ve been speaking to the only 3 genki kids in the bunch… oh well. Also loud Mr. Playboy was absent. Afterthought: I just realized that 3-5 is Hasegawa-sensei’s homeroom… and her homeroom last year was 2-5, also the most boring in the year… coincidence? hmm…. :p

Now I have one free period before having to teach every other one today. During the break, I ran into Yuka, the new 1st year English teacher, who is super cute and short. We had a little bitch fest together, about having too many classes, being unable to diet, unresponsive students, and general life stuff… then before I broke it off to go get coffee she went “aaah… too much complaining…” and I said “no, no! it’s good for the soul!” lol. So there you have it, I am not only perverting fresh young minds here, I am also jading newbie teachers. yay me. lol.

Okay, I am seriously out of it today… class with 2-4 was okay, and it has MASAYA in it!!! XD I told him he was the “#1 crazy” and he loved it so much he wrote it on his name card. lol. There is also one new kid named Seiji. He looks like he should at least be in 3rd year – he’s so tall. And what kind of parents name their kid Seiji nowadays?! Anyways, he’s cute and I have been assured that he was “very crazy boy” (which is why we were having the whole conversation with Masaya in the first place) by the girl sitting in front of him, so I’m sure he’ll become an entertaining character.

Then I had class with 3-4, and that should have been fun, but they just sucked all the little energy I had out of me with their zero understanding of ANYTHING I said. I mean at first it was cute and fun, I was dicking around with Ryoga and the baseball boys, and chatting with Risa and the girls at the back, but then it was like, they made me repeat in Japanese every single thing I said! And when I was explaining about the stupid music paper, they couldn’t even understand the simplest sentences and I just wanted to pull my hair out!! I guess it’s just one-of-those-days, but still. Also, Bad Ryota and Shiomi-kun are a terribly annoying combo… *sigh* now gaman for two more classes!! urgh…

One of the girls from 3-4 wrote “Arashi is Happiness” on her paper. lol. I know she wanted to list the title, like this : “Happiness” by Arashi, but it just cracked me up so much. Other lol-worthy bad romanization include “Suriraa” by Michael Jackson (he actually wrote his name correctly though!), Averil Raven, Ready Gaga, and Buster rhims. lol. Oh well, at least they’re entertaining…

Finally!! I’m done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okay, so class with 1-5 was good, but the only thing I can remember was this one girl who excitedly told me that she liked ViViD and squealed when I “confirmed” (where does she get her information??) that I liked them too… Seriously, what is it with all these tiny little girls who like visual kei popping up?!? Not that I mind, it means more fangirls for me, but… lol. Usually JHS kids like Arashi and that’s pretty much it :p

Then, in 2-6 it went well also, but I was just soooo dead, I can’t remember anything… only that that kid who looks like a cuddly little… well I dunno but he’s just so darn cute! and he has little glasses which make him look intellectual, but he’s so baby looking that it’s cute, and he’s got his leg in a brace and is always clomping around… anyways, he’s terribly endearing. He’s in that class. Him, and the girl I’d met last week who lived in Bangkok and whose English is awesome. She was basically the only one laughing at my jokes the whole time, and her hand always shot up every time I asked a question, bless.

And now, half the boys from 2-3 are going around shouting “my name is Vanessa!”, “I’m Vanessa too!”, “I’m Vanessa too, too!” and they think it’s hilarious… (well, it is kinda cute, but they’re retards :p) it’s cuz of a conversation we had at lunch time… one of the boys thought he’d be a smart-ass and say his name was Vanessa, but instead of replying “no you’re not” I said “what a coincidence! My name is Vanessa too!” and they thought it was hilarious, and so I guess they’ve been parroting that since lunch time. lol.

After school, when I was walking toward the station, listening to loud music with my headphones firmly plugged in my ears, I turned around to find one of my ex-students riding next to me on his bike, trying to catch my attention. lol. I *think* his name is Hiroki, but I’m not sure. I’m a bad teacher. lol. I remember him as part of the Uverworld posse though. There were a few of my old 3nensei boys who were really into Uverworld, and one day one of them found out I liked them too and then I was suddenly cool to them. They were a group of kinda forgettable boys – not popular, yet not quite nerds. And they were all pretty quiet, so I never noticed them much. So I was surprised when that kid actually made an effort to come over and talk. He seemed so happy. and so different too, and it wasn’t just the lack of uniform. I asked him if he enjoyed high school, and he said yes, but that he was going to night school. I was like “huh?” and so he explained that he goes to school from 4pm to 12pm, and then during the day, he works! In construction!! lol. No wonder he looks more “man-like” haha… but still, it made me a little bit sad, that for whatever reason, he can’t enjoy being a kid anymore. Still, I was proud of him. He left when we reached his house and gave me a huge wave of his arm, and a loud English “good bye!” as I walked off. awww….


Oops, so turns out I had 1st and 2nd period today, and not 1st and 3rd. but whatever, all is well. It was class with 1-6 followed by class with 1-4. 1-4 had this really funny kid named Akira in it, who was loud and taller than everybody else, and had big giant bags under his eyes, poor kid. I even asked him at the end of class at what time he’d gone to bed and he told me “10pm”. I was really surprised! I said I thought he looked sleepy and the other kids laughed as he exclaimed “yada! sensei kara, sono…. yada!” (no way! coming from the teacher…!) and I felt a bit bad, but I laughed too. But the funniest thing was that, during the quiz, when they had to guess my favorite food (between sushi and takoyaki), he was wondering loudly which one it was and then was like “maaa… kansaijin-ppoi kara, takoyaki!” (she looks like a person from Kansai, so she must like takoyaki!). How on earth do I look like a person from Kansai?! I’m white, and I’m speaking English to you!! lol. Then another question was “what am I good at” and they had to chose between “drawing pictures” or “karaoke” and he went “oh well kansai-jin like karaoke so it must be that!” lol. wtf! I love this kid already. haha.

Then I had class with 2-5 just before lunch, and it was pretty uneventful, except for the fact that Atsuya is in this class, and he is such a little nutjob that even a minute in his presence is entertaining. Of course, he sucks at English. He looks kinda “slow” but I really do suspect him to just act that way on purpose. Anyways, today, he kept making “slurping” sounds when I was showing pictures of Easter chocolates, and it was just terribly inappropriate, awkward, and kinda funny. Sitting right next to him was Shinji, this gorgeous little halfu boy (Hispanic/Japanese) who is super keen all the time and quite possibly one of the smartest kid in their grade. What an odd couple. lol.

Oh and, FYI, the boys from 2-3 are still walking around, greeting me with “my name is Vanessa!!” :p

Have a good one!

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